Saturday, May 23, 2009

42

I somtimes complain about the ways of middleclass people and I am always meet with a very surprised: "But you are typical middleclass!" And I have even been told it is typical for middleclass people to dislike the middleclass! I do have middle class interests like for example sailing, but in a totally different way than they are doing it. Well the actual sailing is the same, but I detest their culture around it. And I am not working class eighter, but i dislike them less. I would belong in the woods hunting and gathering I think. Or I am a bohemian of a kind. I don't know. I'm just a misfit I guess.

Years ago when I was very young I was asked about how I view my life for an article on my writing and art. My answer chocked the reporter so much that she started to try talking me out of it in the middle of the interview and then she was very cross with me. What did I say? Simply that I didn't value my own life if I did not do something totally original with it. That anything else would be a waste of the Earths recources. But that I did not judge anyone else. It is true - I don't dislike the middleclass for living unoriginal lives (- I don't love them for it eigther though). I dislike them because they won't let me live an original life. Because it makes me feel like an living dead and a waste of air. I rather be really dead because as I wrote in my post Awen, I know that death it is bliss.

One way to explain why I have this notion it is that Douglas Adams was right in a way, about 42. The Earth is a computer built to figure out the meaning of life and if everyone insists on living all the same way we will never arrive at the answer.
My personal take on it, is that our lives are sorta strings of calculations for a beeing that we are a part of. Hela: my concept of the divine. Both what we are physically and the thoughts and feelings we are experiencing are parts of Hela. This is my own personal brand of 'insanity'. What is yours? Don't tell me that it is exactly the same and you are middleclass and all your middleclass friends think the same. I might just off myself. :-D

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