...and the beginning of ice. finally the cold has coressed the whole of Norrland. yesterday we went out on skates on the freshly laid ice, 20 - 40 mm thick, for the first time this season. It was clear as glass, a window almost as big as the lake, making the lake an aquarium. i laid down on the ice and peared down, looking for fish, but no luck. i only saw a bug swimming in and out of the foliage. Bearman was getting nervous when the whole sheet of ice resounded with his strides, but my swirles made no sound in the ice. i did not skate so close to the open water.
today snow fell, covering the big lake mirror. and so the beauty is hidden. this teaches us the necessity of catching the moment. do not prospone, nature does not wait until you have better time.
i really needed to be outside just now, too... since my bioparents i didn't know i had mysteriously passed away, and i was called by relatives i had to come and take what i wanted from their appartment... whoa. I mean, what strange appartment. the tv wasnt in any cannels, and there were lots of radios and electronical stuff and letters from some esoterical orden and dairy about mediating messages from the dead and stuff. And all clothes were in perfect staples like the appartment was a landscape. All glasses were on the table, filled up with water. it was like an installation. there were medicins also, dont know what they were but i guess my bioparent were psychotic or something. they sure smoked lots of cigarettes! I took the new stuff, vaccumcleaner and tv, but left all the old stuff it smelled so bad from nicotine.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Thursday, October 20, 2005
fruit of the roses
in the dawn i picked the fruits of the roses in the Arboretum. the birds do not eat them, and if nobody picks them now, they will be spoiled by the nightfrost. last year the first snow fell on my birthday, but now no snow has fallen yet. no h2o-hexagons. in the morning i found the time to take out the itchy seeds and cook a marmelade from the rosefruit. it is rich in vitamin C and many other components that science can not even measure. it will do my imunnesystem good. i plan to pick hawthorn in the Arboretum today, drie them in the owen and use them for tea. it strenghtens the arteries and the heart.
i have been out picking cranberries for half a week. for every berry you see, there is thirty you do not see at first. it takes some patience, when the berries "hide" in the soft moss. hard not to get ones feet wet, too. but the smell of the forest is enchanting this time of year, and the air itself is fresh. one has tooo look out to not stay until darkness falls, as it comes sooner and sooner every evening now. it is not easy to find your way out of the forest with only moonlight to go by.
i have also picked some more rowanberries and put them on a string to dry. i will use them for seasoning food later, or musli.
i have been out picking cranberries for half a week. for every berry you see, there is thirty you do not see at first. it takes some patience, when the berries "hide" in the soft moss. hard not to get ones feet wet, too. but the smell of the forest is enchanting this time of year, and the air itself is fresh. one has tooo look out to not stay until darkness falls, as it comes sooner and sooner every evening now. it is not easy to find your way out of the forest with only moonlight to go by.
i have also picked some more rowanberries and put them on a string to dry. i will use them for seasoning food later, or musli.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Havtorn by Bottenhavet
when i was home me and my bear man went to our favourite beach in our sourroundings. this time of year it is not sprinkled with naturist bathers as it is in summer. they never respect the limitations of their area, and go galavanting in the nature protection area, flaunting their bodys and somtimes their lusts. this time of year naked seals lying on the beach is the only "hazard". once we happened to scare a cub that was sleeping. another time we found a dead seal rotting there. and once, the whole beach was covered in white swan fethers. i gathered them but my bear man was worried about bird influenza.
but back to this time. we came to pick Havtorn. the name means sea-thorns. the berries are hard to pick because you need to cut them from the branches one by one or with scissors. what we had not forseen was the mosquitos. this time of year they are usually not a problem. we gave up pretty soon. the crows had ate our cookies by then, too, leaving us an empthy package. we descided to take a long walk because we had never seen such good weather and beautiful sky on our beach. the sea was still, there was a big bloodred sun licking the horizon.
a couple of days later i cooked jelly of the havtorn and rowanberries. nice to have to meat but also for seasoning smoothies with banana base, as i discovered today. now i am back in Ume for eighteen days, before i can take the train going home again. the weather now is typically fallish, autumnish, yellow leaves, mist and wind. friday i hope will be cold and clear, in that case i will take a trip to my cranberry place to pick some. this fall has been all about berries, last summer was all about herbs. i wonder what my next learningproject will be? bear man is learning to build ecological houses. i guess we just complete eachother.
i have read "Dinas Bok" trough now. i DID like it, and i DO understand why it was recommended to me. just like Dina in the book, i want to do only what i myself choose, but for me the price is not peoples lives, even if i would rather die than live a lie. Dina is very sexual, and she has some spiritual powers. she holds her own masses under the moon.
another book i recently finished was Mikael Niemis "Kyrkdjävulen" (The Curchdevil). he is a noted author from my home, and was awarded many prices for his book that i belive was translated into many different languages and is a movie too:"Popular Music form Vittula". i love his books. when i visited my home a woman asked me if i would not be the female Mikael Niemi of our town some day. that was high expectations...! Mikael Niemi once read and commented my poems, and he said: continue writing. oki, i am! he also said i should not write my poems in english. i need to work on that bit.
but back to this time. we came to pick Havtorn. the name means sea-thorns. the berries are hard to pick because you need to cut them from the branches one by one or with scissors. what we had not forseen was the mosquitos. this time of year they are usually not a problem. we gave up pretty soon. the crows had ate our cookies by then, too, leaving us an empthy package. we descided to take a long walk because we had never seen such good weather and beautiful sky on our beach. the sea was still, there was a big bloodred sun licking the horizon.
a couple of days later i cooked jelly of the havtorn and rowanberries. nice to have to meat but also for seasoning smoothies with banana base, as i discovered today. now i am back in Ume for eighteen days, before i can take the train going home again. the weather now is typically fallish, autumnish, yellow leaves, mist and wind. friday i hope will be cold and clear, in that case i will take a trip to my cranberry place to pick some. this fall has been all about berries, last summer was all about herbs. i wonder what my next learningproject will be? bear man is learning to build ecological houses. i guess we just complete eachother.
i have read "Dinas Bok" trough now. i DID like it, and i DO understand why it was recommended to me. just like Dina in the book, i want to do only what i myself choose, but for me the price is not peoples lives, even if i would rather die than live a lie. Dina is very sexual, and she has some spiritual powers. she holds her own masses under the moon.
another book i recently finished was Mikael Niemis "Kyrkdjävulen" (The Curchdevil). he is a noted author from my home, and was awarded many prices for his book that i belive was translated into many different languages and is a movie too:"Popular Music form Vittula". i love his books. when i visited my home a woman asked me if i would not be the female Mikael Niemi of our town some day. that was high expectations...! Mikael Niemi once read and commented my poems, and he said: continue writing. oki, i am! he also said i should not write my poems in english. i need to work on that bit.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
bringing in the bounty of nature
to my surprise the whole corridore in my dorm wanted to come out to pick berries and mushrooms one sunday. i was lucky enough to find a whole lot of tasty mushrooms, i have dried them for storing. i have still to pick rowanberries, cranberries and a few things more, those orange berries that grow by the sea on bushes that you need to cut off with small scissors, Havtorn we call them. i regret that i did not get more of the white, honeysmelling blossoms that cure pain and fever. it makes such great tea! i have no idea what the toadstools shall be good for, Pan knows i have not the guts to try them out.
my bear man came up to visit for four days. one day we were by a lake in an old forest, and found this great place to pick cranberries, but i prefer to return when they have frozen up really good. we liked the place so much that we returned in the evening with an initial plan to sleep there, but the windy weather detered us. the starlit sky was beautifoul and we even saw a spectacular northen lights. the swans in the lake were wery upset by our torchlight when we first arrived. we made a fire and cooked sausages over it.
it is frustrating to be bound inside these University walls, i feel totally cold towards the things i have to learn. uninspired. and dying inside. it is also pure death to be away from my love. i am cut in half... will i manage? or shall i give up? and then what? I regret ever starting this, taking loans. it was the first step towards slavery. but it has also made me realise how worthless higher education is, something i did not belive before.
so much of it is exactly like those giant stone heads that the people that used to live on the so called Easter island used to make, that made them use up all the natural recources which led directly to their own extinction. that is what LIS is.
on the upside, i will take the nighttrain home tomorrow. and then i will see the face of my beloved again. it almost feels like i will not have peace of mind until that hour.
my bear man came up to visit for four days. one day we were by a lake in an old forest, and found this great place to pick cranberries, but i prefer to return when they have frozen up really good. we liked the place so much that we returned in the evening with an initial plan to sleep there, but the windy weather detered us. the starlit sky was beautifoul and we even saw a spectacular northen lights. the swans in the lake were wery upset by our torchlight when we first arrived. we made a fire and cooked sausages over it.
it is frustrating to be bound inside these University walls, i feel totally cold towards the things i have to learn. uninspired. and dying inside. it is also pure death to be away from my love. i am cut in half... will i manage? or shall i give up? and then what? I regret ever starting this, taking loans. it was the first step towards slavery. but it has also made me realise how worthless higher education is, something i did not belive before.
so much of it is exactly like those giant stone heads that the people that used to live on the so called Easter island used to make, that made them use up all the natural recources which led directly to their own extinction. that is what LIS is.
on the upside, i will take the nighttrain home tomorrow. and then i will see the face of my beloved again. it almost feels like i will not have peace of mind until that hour.
Monday, August 22, 2005
in the blueberryforest
she felt utterly relaxed, picking the blue little orbs. at the same time exilirated and in perfect harmony with the surroundings. a young raven barked from a tree when she drew too close. cobwebs over the berries. toadstools, snails, but no snake today, even though she purposfully hang around the rocky part of the forest, with lots of places for snakes to rest and nest. maybe they saw her.
so many things in this modern life villified her, she felt, but picking blueberrys were an ancient ritual, passed down from mother to daughter, since beginning of time. perfectly natural. something that makes sense. the blueberrys have a healing effect. at first when she picked them, then eating them - they level out bloodsugar and thereby prevent diabetes. and also, in the wintertime, warming her with the rememerance of summer.
she did not fear the bears, who also were out eating the same berries. she knew that because both she and them were so concentrated on the berries, it could happend that they suddently discover they were in the presence of eachother. then they could be startled, but it would be important to not make a fuzz. if she did not, the bear would not. they were, after all, kin.
her people, the sami people, have a legend that they are the children of the suns daughter and the bearman. so they all have a bit of bear in them. she belived it, because her man sometimes, or quite often, became a halfway bear. inside. one could tell by his way of walking then, heavily, his grunting and that he no longer could understand human language. then she had to drive him into the forest. half a day later he would return, a man anew. and she was the same. she suspected all sami were. to know this about them would make it easier for others to understand them.
but the skilled nåids of her people were said to be able to turn wholy into bear. that was why the bears were revered, and given a royal burial if killed. much ritual and magic surrounded the burial som the spirit of the bearman would not return to take revenge. the wimen would chew red bark from (al)tree and spit it on the returning hunters trough brass rings, which she imagined symbolised the circle of the sun. forgive us, father bear, in the sign of our mother!
the vikings feared these bear men, and had a name for them that they transfused into the english language: berserk. Bärsärk, means björn (bear) särk (shirt/guise). they used the name for men who could go into animal fury in battle, and prove to be formidable warriors...
so many things in this modern life villified her, she felt, but picking blueberrys were an ancient ritual, passed down from mother to daughter, since beginning of time. perfectly natural. something that makes sense. the blueberrys have a healing effect. at first when she picked them, then eating them - they level out bloodsugar and thereby prevent diabetes. and also, in the wintertime, warming her with the rememerance of summer.
she did not fear the bears, who also were out eating the same berries. she knew that because both she and them were so concentrated on the berries, it could happend that they suddently discover they were in the presence of eachother. then they could be startled, but it would be important to not make a fuzz. if she did not, the bear would not. they were, after all, kin.
her people, the sami people, have a legend that they are the children of the suns daughter and the bearman. so they all have a bit of bear in them. she belived it, because her man sometimes, or quite often, became a halfway bear. inside. one could tell by his way of walking then, heavily, his grunting and that he no longer could understand human language. then she had to drive him into the forest. half a day later he would return, a man anew. and she was the same. she suspected all sami were. to know this about them would make it easier for others to understand them.
but the skilled nåids of her people were said to be able to turn wholy into bear. that was why the bears were revered, and given a royal burial if killed. much ritual and magic surrounded the burial som the spirit of the bearman would not return to take revenge. the wimen would chew red bark from (al)tree and spit it on the returning hunters trough brass rings, which she imagined symbolised the circle of the sun. forgive us, father bear, in the sign of our mother!
the vikings feared these bear men, and had a name for them that they transfused into the english language: berserk. Bärsärk, means björn (bear) särk (shirt/guise). they used the name for men who could go into animal fury in battle, and prove to be formidable warriors...
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
snowflakes
there are no snowflakes in Sweden yet.
i am afraid there will not be, until sometime in october.
hopefully the first snowflake will fall on my birthday,
just like it did last year.
in Sweden we have snow six months of the year.
it is good for skiing on, or snowboarding on.
the winter is a good time for reading books.
rainy wheather is another good excuse to read.
i own hundereds of books. half of them is novels.
last week i bought four old books - a series about western architecture.
the latest book i read was "The Robber Bride" by Margaret Atwood.
right now i am reading "Dinas bok" by Wassmo, a norwegian author.
i liked how Atwood used the four aspects of the godess in "The Robber Bride". in the end i realised that they all needed Zenia, the disruptive force, because they were all so unable to let go of destructive parts of their lives. she had to do it for them. it was all so elegantly written. a new favourite of mine!
i read Dinas bok because long ago someone reassured me that i would love it or it would somehow relate to me in one way or another. then i happened to find it at a bargain price, so now i will find out if it was a true observation. i will let you know...
it has fallen some rain every day the past few weeks.
i am glad that i soon will have opportunity to wear autumn clothes.
i like the materials, colours and styles better. brown, purple, wool.
velvet, silk. granmother stuff. my gran was very glamorous.
saturday i bought a pair of hand-made "nålbundna" mittens.
for my 30:th birthday my friend Lisa made me a pair of "nålbundna" mittens, but they disappeared when i was at a booksale. i guess they were too beautifoul to leave unwathced for two minutes. but mittens are not necessary yet!
Moon day i changed the dirt in the flowerpots. today, Tyrs day, i bicykled to the nearest forest and picked some blueberrys. they are good for levelling out blodsugar and therby protect against diabetes. there was three latinamerican indian looking wimen with their children there too. the girls were a bit curious of me, but shy, too. i will put most of the berries in the fridge to make muffins later.
there is something so wonderfully monkyish about picking your own food out in the "wild" nature... in this forest i often encounter animals, i perticulary like a snake that is kind enough to take a minute to look at me before she crawls away, and the calm elk family we saw when we were cross-country skiing last winter. i heard that an otter resides at a local strea, i have to get hold of a boat to check it out! otters are so neat and i have only ever seen their tracks before.
soon i will have to go back to the university. this summer i have
seen much animals, birds, wildlife. some concerts and theatres also.
i have not had any quarrels with anyone. i am rested.
i have, however, not finished my essay. this bothers me a lot.
my essay is about ecocentrism in a book and a literary genre.
i have fifty pages to write about it. that is why i sit at the computor.
i actually dislike computors, or i do not like them. i would not
name my pc. but i met my man on the internet. for that i am gratefoul.
this fall he is taking a course in building ecologically, houses, boats.
we find our funiture at auctions, second hand stores, at old relatives attics. last week he got a couple of teak chears for the balcony and a Perstorps-table. it was in fashion in sweden in the fifties. i got him a tomatoplant.
we also found our plates and stuff second hand. i prefer greenglaced Scandinavian stoneware, square plates, art deco forms. Old Höganäs is nice but Deco will do too. when we went to Åre we made stops on the way at least fifteen times to check out "loppisar" as we call second-hand stores in sweden. i found a pair of green drinking glasses, an Old Höganäs bowl, and teaspoons that i am sure were designed by the swedish artist Hans Arnold.
in Åre we went hiking in the mountains. a bit too exiting when a thunderstorm came upon us i Vålnådalen. this summer, all by chanse, we have visited places were Ronja Rövardotter (after the book by Astrid Lindgren) was filmed . Skuleskogen and Rissnefallen. impressive nature scenery. makes me want to see the series again.
well, i will prepare some porridge to eat blueberrys with. i do not know where my man went but the flat was thourogly cleaned when i came back home. when he starts cleaning i usually assume that he is in a bad mood and wants to be left alone. but it really needed some cleaning! and i have not done it. he made us food today, too.
by the way, i am no special and uniqe snowflake.
i am afraid there will not be, until sometime in october.
hopefully the first snowflake will fall on my birthday,
just like it did last year.
in Sweden we have snow six months of the year.
it is good for skiing on, or snowboarding on.
the winter is a good time for reading books.
rainy wheather is another good excuse to read.
i own hundereds of books. half of them is novels.
last week i bought four old books - a series about western architecture.
the latest book i read was "The Robber Bride" by Margaret Atwood.
right now i am reading "Dinas bok" by Wassmo, a norwegian author.
i liked how Atwood used the four aspects of the godess in "The Robber Bride". in the end i realised that they all needed Zenia, the disruptive force, because they were all so unable to let go of destructive parts of their lives. she had to do it for them. it was all so elegantly written. a new favourite of mine!
i read Dinas bok because long ago someone reassured me that i would love it or it would somehow relate to me in one way or another. then i happened to find it at a bargain price, so now i will find out if it was a true observation. i will let you know...
it has fallen some rain every day the past few weeks.
i am glad that i soon will have opportunity to wear autumn clothes.
i like the materials, colours and styles better. brown, purple, wool.
velvet, silk. granmother stuff. my gran was very glamorous.
saturday i bought a pair of hand-made "nålbundna" mittens.
for my 30:th birthday my friend Lisa made me a pair of "nålbundna" mittens, but they disappeared when i was at a booksale. i guess they were too beautifoul to leave unwathced for two minutes. but mittens are not necessary yet!
Moon day i changed the dirt in the flowerpots. today, Tyrs day, i bicykled to the nearest forest and picked some blueberrys. they are good for levelling out blodsugar and therby protect against diabetes. there was three latinamerican indian looking wimen with their children there too. the girls were a bit curious of me, but shy, too. i will put most of the berries in the fridge to make muffins later.
there is something so wonderfully monkyish about picking your own food out in the "wild" nature... in this forest i often encounter animals, i perticulary like a snake that is kind enough to take a minute to look at me before she crawls away, and the calm elk family we saw when we were cross-country skiing last winter. i heard that an otter resides at a local strea, i have to get hold of a boat to check it out! otters are so neat and i have only ever seen their tracks before.
soon i will have to go back to the university. this summer i have
seen much animals, birds, wildlife. some concerts and theatres also.
i have not had any quarrels with anyone. i am rested.
i have, however, not finished my essay. this bothers me a lot.
my essay is about ecocentrism in a book and a literary genre.
i have fifty pages to write about it. that is why i sit at the computor.
i actually dislike computors, or i do not like them. i would not
name my pc. but i met my man on the internet. for that i am gratefoul.
this fall he is taking a course in building ecologically, houses, boats.
we find our funiture at auctions, second hand stores, at old relatives attics. last week he got a couple of teak chears for the balcony and a Perstorps-table. it was in fashion in sweden in the fifties. i got him a tomatoplant.
we also found our plates and stuff second hand. i prefer greenglaced Scandinavian stoneware, square plates, art deco forms. Old Höganäs is nice but Deco will do too. when we went to Åre we made stops on the way at least fifteen times to check out "loppisar" as we call second-hand stores in sweden. i found a pair of green drinking glasses, an Old Höganäs bowl, and teaspoons that i am sure were designed by the swedish artist Hans Arnold.
in Åre we went hiking in the mountains. a bit too exiting when a thunderstorm came upon us i Vålnådalen. this summer, all by chanse, we have visited places were Ronja Rövardotter (after the book by Astrid Lindgren) was filmed . Skuleskogen and Rissnefallen. impressive nature scenery. makes me want to see the series again.
well, i will prepare some porridge to eat blueberrys with. i do not know where my man went but the flat was thourogly cleaned when i came back home. when he starts cleaning i usually assume that he is in a bad mood and wants to be left alone. but it really needed some cleaning! and i have not done it. he made us food today, too.
by the way, i am no special and uniqe snowflake.
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