Havtorn by Bottenhavet

when i was home me and my bear man went to our favourite beach in our sourroundings. this time of year it is not sprinkled with naturist bathers as it is in summer. they never respect the limitations of their area, and go galavanting in the nature protection area, flaunting their bodys and somtimes their lusts. this time of year naked seals lying on the beach is the only "hazard". once we happened to scare a cub that was sleeping. another time we found a dead seal rotting there. and once, the whole beach was covered in white swan fethers. i gathered them but my bear man was worried about bird influenza.
but back to this time. we came to pick Havtorn. the name means sea-thorns. the berries are hard to pick because you need to cut them from the branches one by one or with scissors. what we had not forseen was the mosquitos. this time of year they are usually not a problem. we gave up pretty soon. the crows had ate our cookies by then, too, leaving us an empthy package. we descided to take a long walk because we had never seen such good weather and beautiful sky on our beach. the sea was still, there was a big bloodred sun licking the horizon.
a couple of days later i cooked jelly of the havtorn and rowanberries. nice to have to meat but also for seasoning smoothies with banana base, as i discovered today. now i am back in Ume for eighteen days, before i can take the train going home again. the weather now is typically fallish, autumnish, yellow leaves, mist and wind. friday i hope will be cold and clear, in that case i will take a trip to my cranberry place to pick some. this fall has been all about berries, last summer was all about herbs. i wonder what my next learningproject will be? bear man is learning to build ecological houses. i guess we just complete eachother.
i have read "Dinas Bok" trough now. i DID like it, and i DO understand why it was recommended to me. just like Dina in the book, i want to do only what i myself choose, but for me the price is not peoples lives, even if i would rather die than live a lie. Dina is very sexual, and she has some spiritual powers. she holds her own masses under the moon.
another book i recently finished was Mikael Niemis "Kyrkdjävulen" (The Curchdevil). he is a noted author from my home, and was awarded many prices for his book that i belive was translated into many different languages and is a movie too:"Popular Music form Vittula". i love his books. when i visited my home a woman asked me if i would not be the female Mikael Niemi of our town some day. that was high expectations...! Mikael Niemi once read and commented my poems, and he said: continue writing. oki, i am! he also said i should not write my poems in english. i need to work on that bit.

bringing in the bounty of nature

to my surprise the whole corridore in my dorm wanted to come out to pick berries and mushrooms one sunday. i was lucky enough to find a whole lot of tasty mushrooms, i have dried them for storing. i have still to pick rowanberries, cranberries and a few things more, those orange berries that grow by the sea on bushes that you need to cut off with small scissors, Havtorn we call them. i regret that i did not get more of the white, honeysmelling blossoms that cure pain and fever. it makes such great tea! i have no idea what the toadstools shall be good for, Pan knows i have not the guts to try them out.
my bear man came up to visit for four days. one day we were by a lake in an old forest, and found this great place to pick cranberries, but i prefer to return when they have frozen up really good. we liked the place so much that we returned in the evening with an initial plan to sleep there, but the windy weather detered us. the starlit sky was beautifoul and we even saw a spectacular northen lights. the swans in the lake were wery upset by our torchlight when we first arrived. we made a fire and cooked sausages over it.
it is frustrating to be bound inside these University walls, i feel totally cold towards the things i have to learn. uninspired. and dying inside. it is also pure death to be away from my love. i am cut in half... will i manage? or shall i give up? and then what? I regret ever starting this, taking loans. it was the first step towards slavery. but it has also made me realise how worthless higher education is, something i did not belive before.
so much of it is exactly like those giant stone heads that the people that used to live on the so called Easter island used to make, that made them use up all the natural recources which led directly to their own extinction. that is what LIS is.
on the upside, i will take the nighttrain home tomorrow. and then i will see the face of my beloved again. it almost feels like i will not have peace of mind until that hour.