Wait and Sea

I can not elaborate on the subject, since THE CARTEL IS MONITORING ME - sigh - but PIE has not given up yet. It would have been neat to be there when it goes down but it is at the other side of the planet. And this hex does not fly. I'm a sailing witch. Talking about which, the Coleridge is seaworthy once again and will hit the waves at friday. I will wait before I join the crew thought. The route is not set yet but when it is I will not post it here for
the Cartel3 to sea?

Dealing

I was worried just now, when a overseas friend of mine edmitted that he drinks exessivly these days. I figured that he was a person who listened to music as a way of dealing with stress, guess I was wrong or that doesn't really cut it for the current situation. I think one of the big things that carachterise a person is how they deal with stress. My friend often says that it means a lot to him that his friends are there for him and I am very happy to hear that some of his friends are visiting soon.

I deal with my stress in a different way. Yesterday evening I was on my way out running at sunset, I have changed from mornings to evenings now. But since the collective's dirt bike was available I changed my mind and headed over to the track instead.

Since I had my latest flare of lupus I have had a long way back. It took longer to shed the extra weight I put on from the prednisone than I had expected. Every time I started exercising more I had inflammations in the joints again and had to rest. Since I don't want to go into another flare I have to be careful.

But yesterday I was able to really go and I got concentrated enough to be able to get to that stillness in my mind and heart that training gets me to if it is intense enough. Oh how I have missed it! For shame I didn't take a helmet because I didn't expect to be able to go any fast at all. I thought it would be a struggle. Instead I felt like I should. Strong and light and fast. (Sorta. I am really still slow and weak, comparing...)

I need exersise to be able to deal with emotional stress. I can't just meditate it away as some people manage. That is why lupus is so doubly painful to me, when it locks me into immobility. It makes me unable to successfully deal with stress the only way I can. At the same time it wrecks my life and threatens me with death and really stresses me out. Torture!

Now I am speculating, but I peg Baron as a person who exersise not only because of the blatantly obvious reason - he is as vain as a beauty queen! - but as a way of dealing with stress, it makes him feel good? I think beeing captive and tied down must feel something like what i feel having a lupus flare only worse. Fear of death, stress, but no way of dealing except to escape inside. I read a research paper about hostage situations and hallucinating, it is very usual in those situations. Maybe they are not hallucinating, maybe their spirit really leave the body and wander. I hope that he manages to keep his sanity and that we'll get him back in one piece both physically and mentally.

Speaking about 'one piece', I wonder how long the bike has been creaking like that when strained. Doesn't sound good. If I ask the others they will probably say I singlehandedly wrecked it with this my first ride in like a YEAR, and make me pay for repairs or a new one. :-D Nahhh! They would never do that.

+Baron Rude+

The Cartel brothers Harry and Bart was outwitted and has fled. Hector is back with us and we're happy about that, celebrating with cake that Lys baked and decorated with the PIE logo. We have to imagine eating it but it looks tasty and very fine. Still we are missing Baron and we have yet to crush the cartel to ensure the JUMP.

The Cartel's really intent on making the PIE slices - us - believe that Baron is dead. There can be several reasons for this. One is to scare us into silence. Another is to make us stop looking for him and give up. I believe it is the second alternative that is the correct one. And so do the other PIE slices.

Illegitimati-Bart was on my case about me refusing to accept that Baron is dead. He doesn't feel dead to me. There is more to it than wishful thinking. We are not giving up. By taking Baron, the Cartel made us more desperate to find, reveal and crush them. If we thought he was dead and acted out lust for revenge there would be a risk that we would loose our humanity and the Cartel would win in a way. We will not grant them that victory.

The 'Illegitimati' take over of PIE.

Hector had to flee from PIE HQ and a couple of guys turned up at the forum claiming that Hector and Baron was hoaxers who stole their idea for a comic book and fooled us into thinking it was real. Now they had taken over and there would be no more investigating or discussing the JUMP, instead the forum would be dedicated to discussing Science Fiction and Fantasy. The initial reaction from the forum was a defiant one. But quite fast we adopted a strategy to pretend to play along with Bart and Harry, seemingly discussing science fiction and fantasy. Bart was happy for a moment:

"Yes. This is wonderful. Be social. Communicate with the other members. What a happy place PIE has now become."

But soon he shew that he was a tyrannical peck, disrespectful and arrogant. Lets say there was absolutely no danger of PIE getting the 'Stocholm syndrome'. For example, he didn't like the look of my signature image (of the Romulan Nero from Star Trek) and ordered me to change it to something 'happier'. I did so, but Vally came to my defense and pointed out that they have yet to proove their legal claims and did not whield any actual power over the forum. Soon enough the forum was abound with grim signature images. Most of them designed by the talanted Tio.

"Attn PIE members: moving forward, there will be no signature files allowed in this forum. Please have them all disabled by this time tomorrow. You must comply. Thank you and have a PIE-rrific day."

Yesterday there was a storm of namecalling at the forum and Bart lost his cool. He started to refer to the Cartel and someone in PIE beeing a traitor. Thereby sorta edmitting that they work for the Cartel. (We figured that much since before.) Harry made a weak attemt to start conversation about Star Trek or LOST instead. He gave us a fair warning: "It's my experience people generally get what they deserve. Tread lightly people." When it did not work out he finally threatened us:

"Bart and I will explore solutions to this problem. None of which will favor you or your friends. Pack your bags, you're all about to go on a trip."

Just so you know my friends; if I suddently vanish, the Cartel has picked me up for a trip to Tortureland. Well, there are worse things; like Vogon poetry. On that note: Don't forget to take your towel out with you next monday.
And DON'T PANIC!

PIE disaster!

The Cartel has kidnaped Baron in the middle of an bake-off between him and Hector. I don't know what to do right now. Things don't make sense to me so I am not sure how I can help right now. Frustrating. Tonight at midnight we are all simultanusly watching the kidnap vid the Cartel sent. For the other international Pie slices it will be other times at the day of course. Just midnight for me. A part of Hectors latest message:

PIE is bigger than just Baron and I now. Ensuring it’s survival and growth is necessary, especially if something should happen to me. The community we’ve formed is full of brilliant, dedicated,and passionate people. I’m proud to work alongside you and I know the community will prosper no matter what happens.

From now on, I’ll be sharing evidence with you as I find it. We will draw strength from each other. The first thing I’ll be sharing with you is Baron’s abduction video. I want to watch it with you. Live. Tomorrow, Wednesday at 3 PM Pacific Time.

Join the investigation, register at: http://pietheory.com

Awen

The only strong experience of Awen I ever had was walking by an gigantic ancient Birch tree at home. It was a quite ordinary day and I was neither glad, sad or empthy feeling. I had not eating anything special or starved myself eigther, had not prayed or meditated or dreamt anything unusual that night. I didn't feel a longing for God to show up, and I do NOT think I was choosen or spoken to by God allmighty or anything like that. That's not how I think it works. Was it even the tree? It is a tree I must have walked past a thousend times and climbed a hundered times.

But in that moment I was made aware that everything is One and Love.

Thought this was an beautiful experience that I often try to recall in my memory, I don't try consciously to repeat it. I am happy that I don't have those all the time, it would become an nuiscence. But I would wish that everyone could have one such experience in their life. But I also belive that when we die, all of us no longer have the mental walls up that separate us from knowing that we are and have always been part of it: God or Hel or whatever you want to call it.

Now Baron, one of the founders of P.I.E. is experiencing something that he puts into words with references to tv series Twin Peaks. He says fire is walking with him and talking to him. And he is saying meny strange things, sounding like an oracle with a fondness for David Lynch productions. We are having some trouble interpreting him, but it will be interesting to see where all this ends up.

The Phoenix bird of Hope.

My lupus is in remission. I now have reached a subclinical level of inflammation, no longer burning up with rheumathic fever. I'm picking myself up from the ashes and regenerate once again, just like the Phoenix bird. The creature of Hope.

The Phoenix bird is also the logo for Paranormal Investigation Experts or PIE, a group I have been following and joined forces with some weeks ago. Hector, the brains of the pair that founded the group, has a theory called the JUMP theory. Or in my language: 'HOPP teorin'. HOPP is a nordic word that in it's anglicised version is written HOPE. So for me the JUMP theory is also a message about HOPE for a better future. (You did know that english originates from Nordic language? There is a saying: 'You cannot be born, live or die without speaking Nordic' ...Isn't that true, geekgrl2019?)

But the story of the Phoenix bird also tells about the pain of recreation, renewal. Before it can be reborn, it has to burn up in fire. (Think also of the beloved hindu God Shiva, the Destroyer.) There is always going to be people who don't want things to change, because they have more to gain by preserving their own power. And so it is in this case too. Somebody is sendig blueclad zombiefied goons to harass Hector and Baron, and the same people is trying to prevent the JUMP from happening again. Probably 'Greyish' types. They will fail. Resistance is futile.

Call it Ostara, Eostre, Easter or what you will. Doesn't matter what religion, this time of year is significant. This is the season of hope, beginning NOW. The egg - a really strong symbol in myths of all cultures. On the outside it looks like a dead stone (and often is camoflaged that way too, in pattern and colour) but from it comes life or a new way of life. Ptah the creator shaped the world egg in Egyptian myth. And many more cultures muse about the world beeing shaped from an egg. My own ancestors, the finnish, too. The druids say the egg is not from a bird but from a snake or dragon.

Wales, Cymry, is the land of the red dragon. I went to Aberystwyth at Lughnasadh the same day as my initiation in the Dan yr Ogof caves, to look at the Black Book of Carmarthen. Later I found what the welch call an dragon egg at the beach. It is egg shaped, smooth, white and a little translucent, looks like stone. I hold it when I need to calm down and think. The dragon who is born from it some day, I hope, is me.

The egg we are hunting now is the next JUMP. Weather the mysterious egg comes out of the butt of a bird, snake, fish or dragon, we will find it and open it. No strange organisation will be able to stop PIE. It is the oldest story in the mythology book, (or clay tablet) and our thoughts and expectations have power. What we can believe in, we can make happen, we can create. Just think of all the inventions that science fiction writers have dreamed up, that inspired researchers and were realised.
I have a dream!