May/Valborg/Beltaine rites are often related to sex. But while I see no point in denying that sex is an interest of mine, it is not something I engage in in for ritual purposes. I am not that kind of witch (thought I know a few...). Sex can bring intense feelings but it is not magic, and I look upon it as cheating a bit. Like I think it is cheating to use drugs or alcohol in rites really. I cheat a little at Valborg evening, I drink beer. :-)
I have a relationship directly with nature that aquire nothing else to instill me with a sense of wonder and worship, that is as intense as an infatuation. The feeling I have is beyond intellectual edmiration of natures beauty and cruelty. The intellectual understanding of nature deepens the feeling but is not the source of it. I feel bliss in every cell of my body and I forget about myself when I am out in nature alone. (Other humans most often spoil it for me by talking.)
I am born a hex. At six years old I went into the woods behind the cottage and made my very first altar on a big rock that was flat on top. I gathered curious and beautiful finds there, like a cranium of a raindeer, feathers and stones that glittered or of strong colour and wierd shaped branches. I also made paint from berries and made signs at the altar. I do not know where I got the ideas from. My foster family where atheists, I knew nothing of my herritage then.
Now we are leaving for Valborg celabration. Lo from the collective has rented a car. First we are going to see that Coleridge is all right in the winter storage, before we continue to the cottage by the sea. We have lots of work to do there at this time of year. Both with the boat and the cottage garden. I am bringing novels and rubber boots with me. There will be no internet. But we will manage. We will pretend it is after the civilization has fallen, like in that song "You and the Candles".