Saturday, February 26, 2011


some years ago i had a hard time accepting the diagnose i got, SLE. i just couldn't believe that my own immunesystem would turn on the body it was made to protect for no reason at all. i speculated that there was some underlying condition that made my immunesystem act this way, for instance a parasite or poisoning by environmental toxins, and it turns out i was kind of right all along.

for the latest five months i've been dealing with what started out as a case of suspected sceleton cancer. i had this bump on my leg and it hurt badly, especially at nights. at the worst, i had three nights of sleep on one week. i went to see doctors. several in a row as my case was passed upwards, until it got to national level of care in Stockholm. that's when you know you have got something unusual.

i was getting pretty worried while all the different scannings went on, and ihad to wait for the results. X-ray, MRI, CAT scans, many bloodsamples and doctors appointments. at the same time i was grateful for the level of care i recieved. you should know this is practically free for the patient in Sweden, i would never been able to afford to pay for the real cost of all of that myself.

two and a half months ago i was put under for surgery. i have never had surgery before and i was pretty scared, but meditated to diffuse the angst. a major part of the bump was chiseled away and sent to a lab to be analyzed. since the bone canal had grown shut by the bump which they were calling a tumour at that point, they also drilled it open. the i had sickleave for six weeks to heal up.

i didn't feel comfortable to stay at home just waiting for the results, so i started working early. it turned out it wasn't a malignant cancer tumour - anymore. my doctor, Dr J Marton, explained to me that my immunesystem detected the cancer years ago and capsuled it in a material that is harder than bone and thus isolating it and killing it. amazing!! so it might be that all those 'SLE symptoms' i had was just my body fighting cancer.

all these years when i have been disappointed at my body because it was acting irrational and weaker than i expected it to be, it was actually more of a warrior than i could ever have imagined or believed. now i'm still healing from the surgery, so there is no snowboarding in the plans for this spring, and i run out of stuff like magnesium in my body and have to eat supplements. but on the whole i'm feeling better than i have been in years.

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