We found it!
What we saw on the way there:
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Oh MaYa!
Today I posted a Love Letter to the Future at www.loveletterstothefuture.com (and so should You my friends). It was a painting and a text. I was baffled that something of what we put in seem to have gotten through to the future, as I read about Maya's Dream... at
http://loveletterstothefuture.blogspot.com
Thursday, August 20, 2009
She stirs up some thoughts
There is something going on with the case of Junko Junsui. I don't know what to believe. Things are not what they seem at first, and when you dig deeper, they are not what you find then either, but there are even more layers. Deception upon deception upon deception. In war, they say, the truth is the first casualty.
Spontaneously, I would say that there is discrepancy between what the Junsui say they are, and how they act. For that reason, what they are saying and doing is thought provoking.
Everybody have a need to be creative or to express themselves in some way. The societies (the people around us) always offer this way; to buy the opportunity to do that. They capitalize on this need. This is why we want to become rich. But mostly, we are being directed into realizing somebody else’s dreams for their self expression. We are also expected to pay for this, too. To be successful is to have others pay for getting to help realize your dreams, not their own.
The Junsui say they are against something, and then they DO just that, themselves.
This is of course very human - we all judge others differently than we judge ourselves. But I think it's more to it than that. I don't think they are what they pose as. Unfortunatly. I had hopes about them.
Maybe people can't see through this act.
I wondeer what harm can be done.
But I could be wrong.
Spontaneously, I would say that there is discrepancy between what the Junsui say they are, and how they act. For that reason, what they are saying and doing is thought provoking.
Everybody have a need to be creative or to express themselves in some way. The societies (the people around us) always offer this way; to buy the opportunity to do that. They capitalize on this need. This is why we want to become rich. But mostly, we are being directed into realizing somebody else’s dreams for their self expression. We are also expected to pay for this, too. To be successful is to have others pay for getting to help realize your dreams, not their own.
The Junsui say they are against something, and then they DO just that, themselves.
This is of course very human - we all judge others differently than we judge ourselves. But I think it's more to it than that. I don't think they are what they pose as. Unfortunatly. I had hopes about them.
Maybe people can't see through this act.
I wondeer what harm can be done.
But I could be wrong.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Poisoned Paradise
While the snake I was swimming with was not venomous, there is another poison in my paradise. The reason I could not safely launch an truely self-sufficant project out here in the woods is: it's too late. Chernobyl. Much of the dust clouds from the Chernobyl disaster rained down here. I can, as I did yesterday, pick blueberries for an occasional pie, but not pick and make jam for the whole year. I know when I'm burning firewood, I'm releasing radioactive particles into the air again. It's forbidden to eat the fish from the lakes around here. And so on... Sorrow in my heart. The poison in paradise isn't the snake, but the humans.
Water Snake
Yesterday evening I wanted to wash some dust off, and went to the little island to take a swim there. The water is warm and it was a sunny, beautiful evening. I was carefully stepping into the water, since the rocks are both sharp and slippery-slimy there, when I felt a sudden hesitation. In my mind I saw a snake swimming towards me in the water. "Ridiculus" I told myself, "what are the odds that an adder will be swimming towards me?"
Repeating that in my mind, mantra-like, I swam out. As I swam out from the island I could see around it, and guess what? A snake was swimming towards me! Unbeliveable. I paniced and swam towards land and quickly I was out of the water. Then I saw the yellow markings behind it's head; It was jus an non venomous grass snake, or water snake as they also are called.
The snake was not much startled but did make a little way around me in the water as I was swimming ashore. Then it came up on land two meters from me, inbetween some rocks and vegetation. After a rest in the sun it continued on it's way around the island. Amazing. The animal life around the cottage are not at all afraid of humans. Squirrels, toads, birds... Now a snake, too.
Monday, June 29, 2009
The Baltic Sea and the Land of the Finns
The weather was mostly terrific with good winds. I'm wearing the captain's hat, reading the map & picking out the route. In Finland we found a charming little place to stay, Kalajoki. Later we visited Wasa & then realtives in Oulo. 
On the way back over the Baltic Sea I took a sea troll omboard. BIG mistake. He took over the rodder and disrespected the hat! Couldn't have that, so I kicked him off the ship, mid-sea. Ran, the sea goddess, didn't seem to mind this & I was not punished, but Coleridge arrived safely home.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Summer Solstice
Tonight I haven't sleept at all. I've spent five hours on the little island watching the dawn. I couldn't convince anyone to make me company, they were all adamant on sleeping. The sea was like a mirror, vailed by mists, when I arrived. The birdsong was almost deafening at times. I had to run around and climb some to keep warm before the sun rose.
The island is just a big chunk of green stone that has got it soft shapes by beeing sanded down by the the inland ice sheet more than 10.000 years ago. In the sunlight the stone glitters like it's infused with countless crystals. The island is partly covered in moss, with a few tormented but still quite big and old fir trees.
A few feather like clouds brushed the sky, before sunrise they started to glow with a gold lining when the horizon blushed pink and yellow. The mists moved faster over the water surface and almost looked like ghosts or faerys dancing, before they were dispersed by the warmth of the rising sun. I did some yoga; Guess what? :-)
I promise myself to do these 'out of the ordinary rut' things more. But it often takes special occations likt the Summer Solstice for me to Dao it a bit. Now I'm back home and have a few things to arrange before I finish packing for Finland. I'm really tired now thought, and have to sleep three hours before I can get anything at all done...
The picture is from an other occation, when I saw a hobgoblin (or possibly a tompta?) on the island.
The island is just a big chunk of green stone that has got it soft shapes by beeing sanded down by the the inland ice sheet more than 10.000 years ago. In the sunlight the stone glitters like it's infused with countless crystals. The island is partly covered in moss, with a few tormented but still quite big and old fir trees.
A few feather like clouds brushed the sky, before sunrise they started to glow with a gold lining when the horizon blushed pink and yellow. The mists moved faster over the water surface and almost looked like ghosts or faerys dancing, before they were dispersed by the warmth of the rising sun. I did some yoga; Guess what? :-)
I promise myself to do these 'out of the ordinary rut' things more. But it often takes special occations likt the Summer Solstice for me to Dao it a bit. Now I'm back home and have a few things to arrange before I finish packing for Finland. I'm really tired now thought, and have to sleep three hours before I can get anything at all done...
The picture is from an other occation, when I saw a hobgoblin (or possibly a tompta?) on the island.
Midsummer dreams
Midsummer dreams are supposed to be prophetical. Young girls still practice the folk magic practice of gathering seven (or nine) different kinds of flowers and sleeping with them under the pillow to dream about their future husband.
But there need not be any flowers at all. And the dreams can be about whatever.
Sunday night I woke everybody in the cottage up by screaming in my sleep. I dreamt that the cottage was beeing burglarised. ...I didn't scream because I was afraid! But to scare the burglar away or something in the lines of: "What in Hela's name do you think you are doing?!!" I went back to sleep, and dreamt about an amazing, exhilirating blizzard.
Now I don't know if I in the year before me am about to live through an actual break in to the cottage and a blizzard , or if I'm to expect a stormy, unasked for romance. To confuse this further, a wise woman once told me dream language often is 'backwards' and cryptic.
I guess I will have to wait and see what happens. So much for prophetic dreams. :-)
But there need not be any flowers at all. And the dreams can be about whatever.
Sunday night I woke everybody in the cottage up by screaming in my sleep. I dreamt that the cottage was beeing burglarised. ...I didn't scream because I was afraid! But to scare the burglar away or something in the lines of: "What in Hela's name do you think you are doing?!!" I went back to sleep, and dreamt about an amazing, exhilirating blizzard.
Now I don't know if I in the year before me am about to live through an actual break in to the cottage and a blizzard , or if I'm to expect a stormy, unasked for romance. To confuse this further, a wise woman once told me dream language often is 'backwards' and cryptic.
I guess I will have to wait and see what happens. So much for prophetic dreams. :-)
Saturday, June 20, 2009
The Hideaway
Midsummer time we spent at the cottage. But since we didn't get the water pump working yet, we were going home almost very day to shower or to get something. We thought we had packed enough to get by for four days, but no. It's just a twenty minutes drive, still I feel uneasy about it. Environmentally. Most of the time we have been working at the roof, and fixing stuff. As usual I have worked mostly in the garden. And making a meal for us now and then.
I'm happy with the results of our garden redesign. Lo tore down the old woodshed. I've got my 'druids corner' of the garden and they can do what they want to with the rest. I had to move my whole herbarium & strawberries which took two days of digging and replanting. Happily all of the the plants suvived the brutalism! I have sawed down many of the shrubberys and smaller trees for the more 'airy' garden design. Some older trees will be cut down later, but not the oldest ones, I saved those. Phew!
Althought if one of the great trees were to be stormfelled it could crush the cottage. I told them in that case I would mourn the tree and not the cottage. The cottage is an historical building, an more than 150 years old miners house from somewhere. But my grandfather was a miner his whole life, and I think he would say: "Leave those trees alone!" And I can truthfully claim I need the shadow of the trees, and that is pretty hard for anyone to argue with. Sometimes lupus isn't all bad. :-)
I'm happy with the results of our garden redesign. Lo tore down the old woodshed. I've got my 'druids corner' of the garden and they can do what they want to with the rest. I had to move my whole herbarium & strawberries which took two days of digging and replanting. Happily all of the the plants suvived the brutalism! I have sawed down many of the shrubberys and smaller trees for the more 'airy' garden design. Some older trees will be cut down later, but not the oldest ones, I saved those. Phew!
Althought if one of the great trees were to be stormfelled it could crush the cottage. I told them in that case I would mourn the tree and not the cottage. The cottage is an historical building, an more than 150 years old miners house from somewhere. But my grandfather was a miner his whole life, and I think he would say: "Leave those trees alone!" And I can truthfully claim I need the shadow of the trees, and that is pretty hard for anyone to argue with. Sometimes lupus isn't all bad. :-)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Lynx
Tonight I was invited into the lynx mind to accompany it in hunting. I don't know if it really happened or if I just had a wonderful dream. I have heard of hexes who can 'piggyback' animals minds but I don't remember that I ever had done so before. Eighter way I hope it will happen for me again some time. It was an exiting and very different way of experiencing nature. Words are insufficient to describe it. Or my vocabulary is. :-)
Monday, June 15, 2009
Monday, June 08, 2009
Oceanic Dreams
The Sea Whirlpool Dream
A boy of about seven y.o. standing at a pir with an old man. He points out to the sea, at a Whirlpool. The boy is awed. I get a feeling it is in Norway.
I don't remember any more of that dream, I had it as a child. But I have had many dreams about oceans. Here are some more I remember:
The Mirror in the Sea.
Me and another young identical girl sit in the waves, and there is an antique make up table with a big oval mirror, half submerged in the sea. We are smearing on red lipstick and laughing. Our white dresses are wet and our long hair is all tangled up by salt water. Suddently she is not beside me but in the mirror instead of my reflection. She smiles and reveal fangs. She leaps out of the mirror at me and scratch me. I run from her. The rest of the dream I run and try to hide from vampires and everybody around me turns into vampires. In the end I do, too.
The Sunken Ship
We have swam out to explore a sunken ship. Everybody dives down to look at it. I feel a intense hesitation to submerge myself entirely in the Sea. I am alone at the surface and all is dead still.
A boy of about seven y.o. standing at a pir with an old man. He points out to the sea, at a Whirlpool. The boy is awed. I get a feeling it is in Norway.
I don't remember any more of that dream, I had it as a child. But I have had many dreams about oceans. Here are some more I remember:
The Mirror in the Sea.
Me and another young identical girl sit in the waves, and there is an antique make up table with a big oval mirror, half submerged in the sea. We are smearing on red lipstick and laughing. Our white dresses are wet and our long hair is all tangled up by salt water. Suddently she is not beside me but in the mirror instead of my reflection. She smiles and reveal fangs. She leaps out of the mirror at me and scratch me. I run from her. The rest of the dream I run and try to hide from vampires and everybody around me turns into vampires. In the end I do, too.
The Sunken Ship
We have swam out to explore a sunken ship. Everybody dives down to look at it. I feel a intense hesitation to submerge myself entirely in the Sea. I am alone at the surface and all is dead still.
The Road Dream
In the dream I am walking along a big road. The road is packed with people, all walking in the same direction with apathetic expressions and movements. The landscape is flat and the whole dream is grayish in color, like it is an eternal winter’s dusk. The road seems to be the only thing there, and moving forward the only thing important. People are in all different ages. When someone stops moving forward they are trampled under by the rest, who does not even seem to take notice or care about it. I look down at the tarmac and I realise that the road is made up by bodies, skeleton parts and remains of clothes that are crushed and packed into this grey macabre road. I imagine the road taking form at the head of it, and realize it doesn’t lead anywhere, it is just being created continually. Maybe the ones in the front only are trying to get away from the road. Looking down as another one is trampled down, I notice paths leading down from the road into the thorny shrubbery vegetation. I continue moving forward, but start notice more and more of these paths. With great hesitation I finally decide to divert from the big road to follow one of these paths. I find that the paths are running across each other in great pattern of confusion and over and over again I find myself on paths heading up onto the big road again. The paths don’t seem to lead anywhere either. But I continue to follow them, increasingly scarred and scratched and wild looking.
City
I usually have no problem finding my way in the woods. To me all the trees and rocks do not look the all the same. Some I like, some I don't. I get a feeling for where I am. But in the cities I am always paniced. The buildings disturb my ability to orient myself and I get overwhelmed and tired. Maybe it's because I really don't want to be there.
I have noticed others react in a similar way to the woods that I do the the city. Maybe we can't change what pattern was imprinted on us growing up. I would find that infinitly sad. So many souls who will never know or enjoy reality. More than half of the human population on the planet now lives in city's. For the first time ever.
I don't really care to become comfortable in cities, and people maybe don't care to become more at home in the woods. But I have not grown up by the ocean, and that does not stop me from wanting to get to know it. I did grow up by a river and among lots of lakes thought, that may help a little. The oceans scare me. I find it exciting.
Oh, btw: Today is World Ocean Day. Wear blue and tell two!
I have noticed others react in a similar way to the woods that I do the the city. Maybe we can't change what pattern was imprinted on us growing up. I would find that infinitly sad. So many souls who will never know or enjoy reality. More than half of the human population on the planet now lives in city's. For the first time ever.
I don't really care to become comfortable in cities, and people maybe don't care to become more at home in the woods. But I have not grown up by the ocean, and that does not stop me from wanting to get to know it. I did grow up by a river and among lots of lakes thought, that may help a little. The oceans scare me. I find it exciting.
Oh, btw: Today is World Ocean Day. Wear blue and tell two!
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Into the wild
I was looking forward to be sailing now, but I should have known better than getting my hopes up. Oh, I did so long to get away from everything for a long while. Forget that I am human. Not have to relate to other humans besides the others with me, who don't want to be human eighter.
Well I have to continue to get my wilderness in small doses. Tonight the moon is full and the sky is clear. As soon as darkness falls I will go running in the woods. The last time I went running this late I ran into the lynx that I've been told has been sighted often in the woods where I run. It was at a distance but it roared at me! I have seen lynx before but at greater distance and they have never cared about me.
How loud it sounded! I didn't expect it. Have only ever heard the sound in documentarys before. It is more of a bark than a roar, really. I was startled and felt a bit panicy, had to make myself run a bit slower and not faster. Not that I have ever head anyone say they have been attacked by a lynx. I felt silly for beeing scared by it.
I often run into deer there. Especially if I run off the track. Which I obviesly can't do in the dark. I will stay at the path. I have a trick that has preserved my night vision so it is very good. I always close my left eye for a moment if I am dazzled. A military taught me that when I was a child. Other superpowers: I have hearing like a dog's on one ear. :-)
Later: I saw the lynx again I think! Closer this time, but it leaped into shrubbery when I came and did not move and I wasn't about to stop and have a look in there! It was surprisingly cold outside. I took the longest warm shower and a hot cup of tea when I came home. It would have been nice with a warm somebody in bed tonight thought.
Well I have to continue to get my wilderness in small doses. Tonight the moon is full and the sky is clear. As soon as darkness falls I will go running in the woods. The last time I went running this late I ran into the lynx that I've been told has been sighted often in the woods where I run. It was at a distance but it roared at me! I have seen lynx before but at greater distance and they have never cared about me.
How loud it sounded! I didn't expect it. Have only ever heard the sound in documentarys before. It is more of a bark than a roar, really. I was startled and felt a bit panicy, had to make myself run a bit slower and not faster. Not that I have ever head anyone say they have been attacked by a lynx. I felt silly for beeing scared by it.
I often run into deer there. Especially if I run off the track. Which I obviesly can't do in the dark. I will stay at the path. I have a trick that has preserved my night vision so it is very good. I always close my left eye for a moment if I am dazzled. A military taught me that when I was a child. Other superpowers: I have hearing like a dog's on one ear. :-)
Later: I saw the lynx again I think! Closer this time, but it leaped into shrubbery when I came and did not move and I wasn't about to stop and have a look in there! It was surprisingly cold outside. I took the longest warm shower and a hot cup of tea when I came home. It would have been nice with a warm somebody in bed tonight thought.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Gaia
Today is the National Day of Sweden. This event I have marked in no way at all. Tomorrow thought, is an important day to me, because I get to vote green in the EU election. I know it's futile. I don't want to think about how futile it is, and anything else I can do. I'd rather go on hoping for miracles. If one doesn't even try, what chanse has she got? Gaia. The love of my life.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Laleh sings it.
People are u ready?
Fighters are u ready
Dreamers are u ready
If you're truly ready
Come on get ready
They could take me up,
Take me down
I don't care
I'm not found
'Cause we don't understand
The meaning of hamebaham
He said don't let them fool ya
He means the one who rules ya
I say u got to seize the power to be free
And I don't mean the money
And I don't mean control
But I mean the power over heads and our souls
People are u ready
We got nothing to loose
I won't let them rule my dreams
I won't let them tease me
Don't fall for temptations
or the lives they offer
Where are u my sisters
Where are u my brothers
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Wait and Sea
I can not elaborate on the subject, since THE CARTEL IS MONITORING ME - sigh - but PIE has not given up yet. It would have been neat to be there when it goes down but it is at the other side of the planet. And this hex does not fly. I'm a sailing witch. Talking about which, the Coleridge is seaworthy once again and will hit the waves at friday. I will wait before I join the crew thought. The route is not set yet but when it is I will not post it here for
the Cartel3 to sea?
the Cartel3 to sea?
Dealing
I was worried just now, when a overseas friend of mine edmitted that he drinks exessivly these days. I figured that he was a person who listened to music as a way of dealing with stress, guess I was wrong or that doesn't really cut it for the current situation. I think one of the big things that carachterise a person is how they deal with stress. My friend often says that it means a lot to him that his friends are there for him and I am very happy to hear that some of his friends are visiting soon.
I deal with my stress in a different way. Yesterday evening I was on my way out running at sunset, I have changed from mornings to evenings now. But since the collective's dirt bike was available I changed my mind and headed over to the track instead.
Since I had my latest flare of lupus I have had a long way back. It took longer to shed the extra weight I put on from the prednisone than I had expected. Every time I started exercising more I had inflammations in the joints again and had to rest. Since I don't want to go into another flare I have to be careful.
But yesterday I was able to really go and I got concentrated enough to be able to get to that stillness in my mind and heart that training gets me to if it is intense enough. Oh how I have missed it! For shame I didn't take a helmet because I didn't expect to be able to go any fast at all. I thought it would be a struggle. Instead I felt like I should. Strong and light and fast. (Sorta. I am really still slow and weak, comparing...)
I need exersise to be able to deal with emotional stress. I can't just meditate it away as some people manage. That is why lupus is so doubly painful to me, when it locks me into immobility. It makes me unable to successfully deal with stress the only way I can. At the same time it wrecks my life and threatens me with death and really stresses me out. Torture!
Now I am speculating, but I peg Baron as a person who exersise not only because of the blatantly obvious reason - he is as vain as a beauty queen! - but as a way of dealing with stress, it makes him feel good? I think beeing captive and tied down must feel something like what i feel having a lupus flare only worse. Fear of death, stress, but no way of dealing except to escape inside. I read a research paper about hostage situations and hallucinating, it is very usual in those situations. Maybe they are not hallucinating, maybe their spirit really leave the body and wander. I hope that he manages to keep his sanity and that we'll get him back in one piece both physically and mentally.
Speaking about 'one piece', I wonder how long the bike has been creaking like that when strained. Doesn't sound good. If I ask the others they will probably say I singlehandedly wrecked it with this my first ride in like a YEAR, and make me pay for repairs or a new one. :-D Nahhh! They would never do that.
I deal with my stress in a different way. Yesterday evening I was on my way out running at sunset, I have changed from mornings to evenings now. But since the collective's dirt bike was available I changed my mind and headed over to the track instead.
Since I had my latest flare of lupus I have had a long way back. It took longer to shed the extra weight I put on from the prednisone than I had expected. Every time I started exercising more I had inflammations in the joints again and had to rest. Since I don't want to go into another flare I have to be careful.
But yesterday I was able to really go and I got concentrated enough to be able to get to that stillness in my mind and heart that training gets me to if it is intense enough. Oh how I have missed it! For shame I didn't take a helmet because I didn't expect to be able to go any fast at all. I thought it would be a struggle. Instead I felt like I should. Strong and light and fast. (Sorta. I am really still slow and weak, comparing...)
I need exersise to be able to deal with emotional stress. I can't just meditate it away as some people manage. That is why lupus is so doubly painful to me, when it locks me into immobility. It makes me unable to successfully deal with stress the only way I can. At the same time it wrecks my life and threatens me with death and really stresses me out. Torture!
Now I am speculating, but I peg Baron as a person who exersise not only because of the blatantly obvious reason - he is as vain as a beauty queen! - but as a way of dealing with stress, it makes him feel good? I think beeing captive and tied down must feel something like what i feel having a lupus flare only worse. Fear of death, stress, but no way of dealing except to escape inside. I read a research paper about hostage situations and hallucinating, it is very usual in those situations. Maybe they are not hallucinating, maybe their spirit really leave the body and wander. I hope that he manages to keep his sanity and that we'll get him back in one piece both physically and mentally.
Speaking about 'one piece', I wonder how long the bike has been creaking like that when strained. Doesn't sound good. If I ask the others they will probably say I singlehandedly wrecked it with this my first ride in like a YEAR, and make me pay for repairs or a new one. :-D Nahhh! They would never do that.
Monday, May 25, 2009
DON'T PANIC!
Happy Towel Day! This should be an
world wide (or galactic!) holiday!
Tried to make a youtube vid for the other PIE slices but fail, fail, fail. Ahhhrg. It must be the Cartel, interfering with Towel Day. I'll fish slap them for this!
Ahhh, finally the vid went through! And Riki's vid was awesome!
world wide (or galactic!) holiday!
Tried to make a youtube vid for the other PIE slices but fail, fail, fail. Ahhhrg. It must be the Cartel, interfering with Towel Day. I'll fish slap them for this!
Ahhh, finally the vid went through! And Riki's vid was awesome!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
+Baron Rude+
The Cartel brothers Harry and Bart was outwitted and has fled. Hector is back with us and we're happy about that, celebrating with cake that Lys baked and decorated with the PIE logo. We have to imagine eating it but it looks tasty and very fine. Still we are missing Baron and we have yet to crush the cartel to ensure the JUMP.
The Cartel's really intent on making the PIE slices - us - believe that Baron is dead. There can be several reasons for this. One is to scare us into silence. Another is to make us stop looking for him and give up. I believe it is the second alternative that is the correct one. And so do the other PIE slices.
Illegitimati-Bart was on my case about me refusing to accept that Baron is dead. He doesn't feel dead to me. There is more to it than wishful thinking. We are not giving up. By taking Baron, the Cartel made us more desperate to find, reveal and crush them. If we thought he was dead and acted out lust for revenge there would be a risk that we would loose our humanity and the Cartel would win in a way. We will not grant them that victory.
The Cartel's really intent on making the PIE slices - us - believe that Baron is dead. There can be several reasons for this. One is to scare us into silence. Another is to make us stop looking for him and give up. I believe it is the second alternative that is the correct one. And so do the other PIE slices.
Illegitimati-Bart was on my case about me refusing to accept that Baron is dead. He doesn't feel dead to me. There is more to it than wishful thinking. We are not giving up. By taking Baron, the Cartel made us more desperate to find, reveal and crush them. If we thought he was dead and acted out lust for revenge there would be a risk that we would loose our humanity and the Cartel would win in a way. We will not grant them that victory.
42
I somtimes complain about the ways of middleclass people and I am always meet with a very surprised: "But you are typical middleclass!" And I have even been told it is typical for middleclass people to dislike the middleclass! I do have middle class interests like for example sailing, but in a totally different way than they are doing it. Well the actual sailing is the same, but I detest their culture around it. And I am not working class eighter, but i dislike them less. I would belong in the woods hunting and gathering I think. Or I am a bohemian of a kind. I don't know. I'm just a misfit I guess.
Years ago when I was very young I was asked about how I view my life for an article on my writing and art. My answer chocked the reporter so much that she started to try talking me out of it in the middle of the interview and then she was very cross with me. What did I say? Simply that I didn't value my own life if I did not do something totally original with it. That anything else would be a waste of the Earths recources. But that I did not judge anyone else. It is true - I don't dislike the middleclass for living unoriginal lives (- I don't love them for it eigther though). I dislike them because they won't let me live an original life. Because it makes me feel like an living dead and a waste of air. I rather be really dead because as I wrote in my post Awen, I know that death it is bliss.
One way to explain why I have this notion it is that Douglas Adams was right in a way, about 42. The Earth is a computer built to figure out the meaning of life and if everyone insists on living all the same way we will never arrive at the answer.
My personal take on it, is that our lives are sorta strings of calculations for a beeing that we are a part of. Hela: my concept of the divine. Both what we are physically and the thoughts and feelings we are experiencing are parts of Hela. This is my own personal brand of 'insanity'. What is yours? Don't tell me that it is exactly the same and you are middleclass and all your middleclass friends think the same. I might just off myself. :-D
Years ago when I was very young I was asked about how I view my life for an article on my writing and art. My answer chocked the reporter so much that she started to try talking me out of it in the middle of the interview and then she was very cross with me. What did I say? Simply that I didn't value my own life if I did not do something totally original with it. That anything else would be a waste of the Earths recources. But that I did not judge anyone else. It is true - I don't dislike the middleclass for living unoriginal lives (- I don't love them for it eigther though). I dislike them because they won't let me live an original life. Because it makes me feel like an living dead and a waste of air. I rather be really dead because as I wrote in my post Awen, I know that death it is bliss.
One way to explain why I have this notion it is that Douglas Adams was right in a way, about 42. The Earth is a computer built to figure out the meaning of life and if everyone insists on living all the same way we will never arrive at the answer.
My personal take on it, is that our lives are sorta strings of calculations for a beeing that we are a part of. Hela: my concept of the divine. Both what we are physically and the thoughts and feelings we are experiencing are parts of Hela. This is my own personal brand of 'insanity'. What is yours? Don't tell me that it is exactly the same and you are middleclass and all your middleclass friends think the same. I might just off myself. :-D
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Con*version
Are Christians to run from witches in fear, or should they make every effort to reach them for Jesus Christ? Indeed, we show how a Christian can use this information to reach a practicing witch with the saving Gospel!
From: http://www.cuttingedge.org/news/headline.html
This kind of religious intolerance is better than beeing burned at the stake, but still, I find it hard to deal with. There are a couple of Jehovas witnesses that come around very often. I don't want to tell them what I really think because I don't want to scare them and I respect their right to their faith. In their perspective they are trying to save me. So how could I be disrespectful then? Large parts of my family is Jehovas. They seem very harmonious and happy. But beeing happy that way is just not in my nature. In an episode of Doctor Who a woman keept comin back to an old house, she said it was making her sad. And that sad is happy for deep people. ...It may sound bonkers but there is truth to it. I would not be happy if I couldn't have sad and destructive feelings. I am such a freak that way...
Would you rather be right or happy ? And of course the truth is, we all say we would rather be happy and we all perceive to live our lives as though we would rather be right !This is a qoute from a new age group of the self help kind. But there might be even creepier movements out there now. I would not mind if they were running from me in fear. :-) The question is who are 'they'? Their apostel Bart is spreading the word:
Stop talking about the past and start building a new future. They really are there for us. You just have to have faith in them. They can help you find order in your mind.
Words from the Illegitimati, making PIE a happy place.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
The 'Illegitimati' take over of PIE.
Hector had to flee from PIE HQ and a couple of guys turned up at the forum claiming that Hector and Baron was hoaxers who stole their idea for a comic book and fooled us into thinking it was real. Now they had taken over and there would be no more investigating or discussing the JUMP, instead the forum would be dedicated to discussing Science Fiction and Fantasy. The initial reaction from the forum was a defiant one. But quite fast we adopted a strategy to pretend to play along with Bart and Harry, seemingly discussing science fiction and fantasy. Bart was happy for a moment:
But soon he shew that he was a tyrannical peck, disrespectful and arrogant. Lets say there was absolutely no danger of PIE getting the 'Stocholm syndrome'. For example, he didn't like the look of my signature image (of the Romulan Nero from Star Trek) and ordered me to change it to something 'happier'. I did so, but Vally came to my defense and pointed out that they have yet to proove their legal claims and did not whield any actual power over the forum. Soon enough the forum was abound with grim signature images. Most of them designed by the talanted Tio.
Yesterday there was a storm of namecalling at the forum and Bart lost his cool. He started to refer to the Cartel and someone in PIE beeing a traitor. Thereby sorta edmitting that they work for the Cartel. (We figured that much since before.) Harry made a weak attemt to start conversation about Star Trek or LOST instead. He gave us a fair warning: "It's my experience people generally get what they deserve. Tread lightly people." When it did not work out he finally threatened us:
Just so you know my friends; if I suddently vanish, the Cartel has picked me up for a trip to Tortureland. Well, there are worse things; like Vogon poetry. On that note: Don't forget to take your towel out with you next monday.
And DON'T PANIC!
"Yes. This is wonderful. Be social. Communicate with the other members. What a happy place PIE has now become."
But soon he shew that he was a tyrannical peck, disrespectful and arrogant. Lets say there was absolutely no danger of PIE getting the 'Stocholm syndrome'. For example, he didn't like the look of my signature image (of the Romulan Nero from Star Trek) and ordered me to change it to something 'happier'. I did so, but Vally came to my defense and pointed out that they have yet to proove their legal claims and did not whield any actual power over the forum. Soon enough the forum was abound with grim signature images. Most of them designed by the talanted Tio.
"Attn PIE members: moving forward, there will be no signature files allowed in this forum. Please have them all disabled by this time tomorrow. You must comply. Thank you and have a PIE-rrific day."
Yesterday there was a storm of namecalling at the forum and Bart lost his cool. He started to refer to the Cartel and someone in PIE beeing a traitor. Thereby sorta edmitting that they work for the Cartel. (We figured that much since before.) Harry made a weak attemt to start conversation about Star Trek or LOST instead. He gave us a fair warning: "It's my experience people generally get what they deserve. Tread lightly people." When it did not work out he finally threatened us:
"Bart and I will explore solutions to this problem. None of which will favor you or your friends. Pack your bags, you're all about to go on a trip."
Just so you know my friends; if I suddently vanish, the Cartel has picked me up for a trip to Tortureland. Well, there are worse things; like Vogon poetry. On that note: Don't forget to take your towel out with you next monday.
And DON'T PANIC!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Lagomness
The nordic mentality of lagomness has old roots. In odal society the annual meetings by the law ring where all quarrels were settled, was what held communities together. The word lagom meant "according to law" but in modern use the word means 'just right' weather it applies to conduct or an amount of something. Lagom is more than just about written law; it is foremost about unwritten laws. Extremes are bad and dangerous, and there is a time and a place for everything. This, I believe, is why nordic people party so wildly. When there is a right time for partying we have a lot of unrulyness pent up inside us. When we get out of our country we really let loose. I believe the raiding bands of vikings were mostly people suffocating from and escaping the 'lagomness' of home.
Nordic people have always been curious about the world. We like to go out into it and bring it home. But when something new enters our society we are very anxious to collectively assign this new element to its right time and place in our society. We are sensitive to the conscensus and everybody adapts to it. The new elements are welcome as a superficial change of flavour but it may not change the essence of our society in any way.
People who do not live according to lagom are shunned. And that is the dark side of lagom... When someone has not the sense or the courtesy to act lagom, this person loose its rights in the eyes of the collective.
To display signs of discomfort with the lagom way of life is labelled depression. It is a disease to not fit in with the lagomness. This is a threat to the balance of lagomness and has to be adressed by the society. These people has to be cured. Now what I am wondering is, in America there are large communities of nordic immigrants. Have they brought the lagomness with them? Or did they, as the vikings, leave here to get away from it?
Nordic people have always been curious about the world. We like to go out into it and bring it home. But when something new enters our society we are very anxious to collectively assign this new element to its right time and place in our society. We are sensitive to the conscensus and everybody adapts to it. The new elements are welcome as a superficial change of flavour but it may not change the essence of our society in any way.
People who do not live according to lagom are shunned. And that is the dark side of lagom... When someone has not the sense or the courtesy to act lagom, this person loose its rights in the eyes of the collective.
To display signs of discomfort with the lagom way of life is labelled depression. It is a disease to not fit in with the lagomness. This is a threat to the balance of lagomness and has to be adressed by the society. These people has to be cured. Now what I am wondering is, in America there are large communities of nordic immigrants. Have they brought the lagomness with them? Or did they, as the vikings, leave here to get away from it?
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
PIE disaster!
The Cartel has kidnaped Baron in the middle of an bake-off between him and Hector. I don't know what to do right now. Things don't make sense to me so I am not sure how I can help right now. Frustrating. Tonight at midnight we are all simultanusly watching the kidnap vid the Cartel sent. For the other international Pie slices it will be other times at the day of course. Just midnight for me. A part of Hectors latest message:
Join the investigation, register at: http://pietheory.com
PIE is bigger than just Baron and I now. Ensuring it’s survival and growth is necessary, especially if something should happen to me. The community we’ve formed is full of brilliant, dedicated,and passionate people. I’m proud to work alongside you and I know the community will prosper no matter what happens.
From now on, I’ll be sharing evidence with you as I find it. We will draw strength from each other. The first thing I’ll be sharing with you is Baron’s abduction video. I want to watch it with you. Live. Tomorrow, Wednesday at 3 PM Pacific Time.
Join the investigation, register at: http://pietheory.com
Thursday, April 30, 2009
May fires & sex rites... or just gardening.
May/Valborg/Beltaine rites are often related to sex. But while I see no point in denying that sex is an interest of mine, it is not something I engage in in for ritual purposes. I am not that kind of witch (thought I know a few...). Sex can bring intense feelings but it is not magic, and I look upon it as cheating a bit. Like I think it is cheating to use drugs or alcohol in rites really. I cheat a little at Valborg evening, I drink beer. :-)
I have a relationship directly with nature that aquire nothing else to instill me with a sense of wonder and worship, that is as intense as an infatuation. The feeling I have is beyond intellectual edmiration of natures beauty and cruelty. The intellectual understanding of nature deepens the feeling but is not the source of it. I feel bliss in every cell of my body and I forget about myself when I am out in nature alone. (Other humans most often spoil it for me by talking.)
I am born a hex. At six years old I went into the woods behind the cottage and made my very first altar on a big rock that was flat on top. I gathered curious and beautiful finds there, like a cranium of a raindeer, feathers and stones that glittered or of strong colour and wierd shaped branches. I also made paint from berries and made signs at the altar. I do not know where I got the ideas from. My foster family where atheists, I knew nothing of my herritage then.
Now we are leaving for Valborg celabration. Lo from the collective has rented a car. First we are going to see that Coleridge is all right in the winter storage, before we continue to the cottage by the sea. We have lots of work to do there at this time of year. Both with the boat and the cottage garden. I am bringing novels and rubber boots with me. There will be no internet. But we will manage. We will pretend it is after the civilization has fallen, like in that song "You and the Candles".
I have a relationship directly with nature that aquire nothing else to instill me with a sense of wonder and worship, that is as intense as an infatuation. The feeling I have is beyond intellectual edmiration of natures beauty and cruelty. The intellectual understanding of nature deepens the feeling but is not the source of it. I feel bliss in every cell of my body and I forget about myself when I am out in nature alone. (Other humans most often spoil it for me by talking.)
I am born a hex. At six years old I went into the woods behind the cottage and made my very first altar on a big rock that was flat on top. I gathered curious and beautiful finds there, like a cranium of a raindeer, feathers and stones that glittered or of strong colour and wierd shaped branches. I also made paint from berries and made signs at the altar. I do not know where I got the ideas from. My foster family where atheists, I knew nothing of my herritage then.
Now we are leaving for Valborg celabration. Lo from the collective has rented a car. First we are going to see that Coleridge is all right in the winter storage, before we continue to the cottage by the sea. We have lots of work to do there at this time of year. Both with the boat and the cottage garden. I am bringing novels and rubber boots with me. There will be no internet. But we will manage. We will pretend it is after the civilization has fallen, like in that song "You and the Candles".
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Frozen feelings
If I'm smitten with someone and he picks up on that and he is interested and change his behavior towards me - I freeze up inside. I loose all interest. I figure out what words or actions that would alienate the person and then I do it. It is over before it ever really began.
You might think I have problems with attatchment or commitment or something. Maybe it is that too. But what I feel is not fear but weariness. "Now the game begins" I think. I notice myself responding to how I am supposed to react when he is doing his part. I am revolted by it. And in that same moment it dies for me.
That is why I keep my feelings inside me and shelter them. To let them last longer. I do not think it is possible to start a relationship without falling into the old tracks that are shown to us by media and the world around all of us. Yes there are different variations. But they all feel fake and unsatisfactory to me.
If you who are reading have a suggestion for a sollution to this problem of mine you are very welcome to comment on my post. Even if you just want to tell me I am completly wrong and pretentious or something. I am fully aware of the fact that I am dysfunctional and strange. :-D
You might think I have problems with attatchment or commitment or something. Maybe it is that too. But what I feel is not fear but weariness. "Now the game begins" I think. I notice myself responding to how I am supposed to react when he is doing his part. I am revolted by it. And in that same moment it dies for me.
That is why I keep my feelings inside me and shelter them. To let them last longer. I do not think it is possible to start a relationship without falling into the old tracks that are shown to us by media and the world around all of us. Yes there are different variations. But they all feel fake and unsatisfactory to me.
If you who are reading have a suggestion for a sollution to this problem of mine you are very welcome to comment on my post. Even if you just want to tell me I am completly wrong and pretentious or something. I am fully aware of the fact that I am dysfunctional and strange. :-D
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Hex fires
Now the ancient fire festival of Valborg/Walpurgis, (or Beltaine) is beeing prepared. I have seen many bonfires beeing stacked. Sweden is very secularised but all the old heathen festivals are still celebrated by almost all, but concidered just fun tradition by the majority. This makes it easy to be a practising heathen.
We usually travel to the summer house, clean up the lawn and spend Valborg there. So also this year... I love it. It is the first time of the year we go there. And now there is all the spring flowers. Yesterday and today it has been real summer weather, too. We also go there because the biggest bonfire is usually on the beach next to the cottage and we don't want it to be burnt down. It's traditional to get drunk at Valborg and that is a dangerous combination with fire and fire crackers, that are used to scare evil spirits away.
The tradition tell that the Hexes would have a party this night and then return from Blåkulla "Bluehill", where they had resided since Easter or Ostara. From there they brought back the vegetation spirit to the land so the summer would be bountyful. The May Queen brought it with her in the shape of a seed like Persephone in greek tradition. The fires could symbolise the guiding light of the torches of Hecate who was known to the romans as Diana Lucifera or Diana Lucina. (Interesting that we in Sweden at midwinter have the Lucia tradition.) Since the Hexes flew in the dark the May fires made it easier to find their way back home. Of course they didn't really fly they were just high. It has old shamanistic roots. Now we just get drunk. :-)
Diana Lucina/Hecate is not forgotten...
America
Once upon a time a sami family from Finland emigrated to America. One of the daughters was my great grandmother, also a hex. She worked as an waitress and met my great grandfather. They had a farm and my grandmother was born. My great grandfather inherrited a farm in Finland so they moved back. My grandmother married a charming but bad man, against the will of her parents. My grandfather. During the war she escaped with her children into Sweden and married another man. And converted to Jehovas witnesses. I remember this much from what my aunt told me. I was most interested in the part that my great grandmother was an hex too. Do I remember it wrong if I think it was Michigan they made their American farm in? I wonder if I still have relatives back there. Did my great grandmother have sisters who stayed back there and who had daughters and granddaughters?
Now when I have researched finns in Michigan a little I just have to cite this slightly racist remark the folklorist, Richard Dorson made about the finn emigrant community in his classic Blood Stoppers and Bear Walkers:
It tells me something of how the finns were recieved if nothing else. It is not at all stange to me now that my great grandmother and her husband decided to go home to Finland again. My aunt said that my great grandmother missed the genius loci of her homeland. I guess it was like me missing the Torne river now.
Now when I have researched finns in Michigan a little I just have to cite this slightly racist remark the folklorist, Richard Dorson made about the finn emigrant community in his classic Blood Stoppers and Bear Walkers:
The coming of the Finn has rocked the north woods country. He is today what the red man was two centuries ago, the exotic stranger from another world. In many ways the popular myths surrounding the Indian and the Finn run parallel. Both derive from a shadowy Mongolian stock - ‘just look at their raised cheek-bones and slanting eyes.’ Both possess supernatural stamina, strength, and tenacity. Both drink feverishly and fight barbarously. Both practice shamanistic magic and ritual, drawn from a deep well of folk belief. Both are secretive, clannish, inscrutable, and steadfast in their own peculiar social code.
It tells me something of how the finns were recieved if nothing else. It is not at all stange to me now that my great grandmother and her husband decided to go home to Finland again. My aunt said that my great grandmother missed the genius loci of her homeland. I guess it was like me missing the Torne river now.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Awen
The only strong experience of Awen I ever had was walking by an gigantic ancient Birch tree at home. It was a quite ordinary day and I was neither glad, sad or empthy feeling. I had not eating anything special or starved myself eigther, had not prayed or meditated or dreamt anything unusual that night. I didn't feel a longing for God to show up, and I do NOT think I was choosen or spoken to by God allmighty or anything like that. That's not how I think it works. Was it even the tree? It is a tree I must have walked past a thousend times and climbed a hundered times.
But in that moment I was made aware that everything is One and Love.
Thought this was an beautiful experience that I often try to recall in my memory, I don't try consciously to repeat it. I am happy that I don't have those all the time, it would become an nuiscence. But I would wish that everyone could have one such experience in their life. But I also belive that when we die, all of us no longer have the mental walls up that separate us from knowing that we are and have always been part of it: God or Hel or whatever you want to call it.
Now Baron, one of the founders of P.I.E. is experiencing something that he puts into words with references to tv series Twin Peaks. He says fire is walking with him and talking to him. And he is saying meny strange things, sounding like an oracle with a fondness for David Lynch productions. We are having some trouble interpreting him, but it will be interesting to see where all this ends up.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Blacksmiths & Black magic
I bought this viking age style glass today. This model was found at Birka. Come Beltaine I will drink Wytchwood brew from it! Since before I have a bowl and a money purse from Birka that my brother gave me. I have some jewelery too, quite much. When we sailed to Birka on Coleridge last summer, I bought a crystal pearl. My collection of replikas is growing, I hoard like a dragon. I like how much of the things are made in the same way now as they were back then. From my aunt I found out that we have some Vallon blood in our family, and she said my eyes are Vallon. The Vallons were blacksmiths and magicians. Or people thought there was some magic to the blacksmithing that they were so secretive about. I have many different streaks of magicians in my family history, and on both sides too. Most of it is sami. I love to hear storys about my ancestors. Some of them are infamous. Well, one of them. He had a bit of a temper. I wouldn't strike someone with blindness, even if it was just for four days. To begin with, I don't care to find out how to do something like that. And then there is the Law of Return. Who knows, my wiccan sisters could be right, there might be something to it...
I'm pondering something the mysterious 'Gerrymander' left as a message to the PIE crew: "To see ahead you must learn what has come before."
Well, that is true for my life too. I want to learn as much as I can about my ancestors and history around them. Like, what was special about the skolt samis that set them apart from other samis? This summer I'd like to travel to Inari to find out. I am also intrigued bu the Komsa culture. When I worked at Voullerim 6000 we made a research trip to Alta to look at the place it was discovered with professor Westfahl. It's interesting the way genetic research changes our outloook on sami history in Scandinavia and western Europe right now. And all peoples all around the world. Like when they found out the viking queen buried in Norway was persian! Peoples have wandered around and blended with eachother.
Ohh, I want to participate in the Genographic project. Too bad I have no brother on my biofathers side though. Maybe this research will counteract racism. I know I am a total mix and I am happy about it, just more of history to feel connected to. My microbiologist friend who is han chinese, told me that the split toenail I have is a sign I also have han chinese ancestry. I was intrigued, I love daoistic philosophy and long before I ever heard about Dao De Jing I heard sentences from it in my dreams. I was also awed when I found out the linkage between samis and berbers of noth africa 9000 years ago! But there is another aspect to it also. Now research in immunology is done on samis, and I have donated my blood tests to research on Lupus. The long dark winters in the arctic may have changed the samis immune system, researchers theorize. Maybe knowledge of the past will lead to a cure...
Sunday, April 12, 2009
The Phoenix bird of Hope.
My lupus is in remission. I now have reached a subclinical level of inflammation, no longer burning up with rheumathic fever. I'm picking myself up from the ashes and regenerate once again, just like the Phoenix bird. The creature of Hope.
The Phoenix bird is also the logo for Paranormal Investigation Experts or PIE, a group I have been following and joined forces with some weeks ago. Hector, the brains of the pair that founded the group, has a theory called the JUMP theory. Or in my language: 'HOPP teorin'. HOPP is a nordic word that in it's anglicised version is written HOPE. So for me the JUMP theory is also a message about HOPE for a better future. (You did know that english originates from Nordic language? There is a saying: 'You cannot be born, live or die without speaking Nordic' ...Isn't that true, geekgrl2019?)
But the story of the Phoenix bird also tells about the pain of recreation, renewal. Before it can be reborn, it has to burn up in fire. (Think also of the beloved hindu God Shiva, the Destroyer.) There is always going to be people who don't want things to change, because they have more to gain by preserving their own power. And so it is in this case too. Somebody is sendig blueclad zombiefied goons to harass Hector and Baron, and the same people is trying to prevent the JUMP from happening again. Probably 'Greyish' types. They will fail. Resistance is futile.
Call it Ostara, Eostre, Easter or what you will. Doesn't matter what religion, this time of year is significant. This is the season of hope, beginning NOW. The egg - a really strong symbol in myths of all cultures. On the outside it looks like a dead stone (and often is camoflaged that way too, in pattern and colour) but from it comes life or a new way of life. Ptah the creator shaped the world egg in Egyptian myth. And many more cultures muse about the world beeing shaped from an egg. My own ancestors, the finnish, too. The druids say the egg is not from a bird but from a snake or dragon.
Wales, Cymry, is the land of the red dragon. I went to Aberystwyth at Lughnasadh the same day as my initiation in the Dan yr Ogof caves, to look at the Black Book of Carmarthen. Later I found what the welch call an dragon egg at the beach. It is egg shaped, smooth, white and a little translucent, looks like stone. I hold it when I need to calm down and think. The dragon who is born from it some day, I hope, is me.
The egg we are hunting now is the next JUMP. Weather the mysterious egg comes out of the butt of a bird, snake, fish or dragon, we will find it and open it. No strange organisation will be able to stop PIE. It is the oldest story in the mythology book, (or clay tablet) and our thoughts and expectations have power. What we can believe in, we can make happen, we can create. Just think of all the inventions that science fiction writers have dreamed up, that inspired researchers and were realised.
I have a dream!
The Phoenix bird is also the logo for Paranormal Investigation Experts or PIE, a group I have been following and joined forces with some weeks ago. Hector, the brains of the pair that founded the group, has a theory called the JUMP theory. Or in my language: 'HOPP teorin'. HOPP is a nordic word that in it's anglicised version is written HOPE. So for me the JUMP theory is also a message about HOPE for a better future. (You did know that english originates from Nordic language? There is a saying: 'You cannot be born, live or die without speaking Nordic' ...Isn't that true, geekgrl2019?)
But the story of the Phoenix bird also tells about the pain of recreation, renewal. Before it can be reborn, it has to burn up in fire. (Think also of the beloved hindu God Shiva, the Destroyer.) There is always going to be people who don't want things to change, because they have more to gain by preserving their own power. And so it is in this case too. Somebody is sendig blueclad zombiefied goons to harass Hector and Baron, and the same people is trying to prevent the JUMP from happening again. Probably 'Greyish' types. They will fail. Resistance is futile.
Call it Ostara, Eostre, Easter or what you will. Doesn't matter what religion, this time of year is significant. This is the season of hope, beginning NOW. The egg - a really strong symbol in myths of all cultures. On the outside it looks like a dead stone (and often is camoflaged that way too, in pattern and colour) but from it comes life or a new way of life. Ptah the creator shaped the world egg in Egyptian myth. And many more cultures muse about the world beeing shaped from an egg. My own ancestors, the finnish, too. The druids say the egg is not from a bird but from a snake or dragon.
Wales, Cymry, is the land of the red dragon. I went to Aberystwyth at Lughnasadh the same day as my initiation in the Dan yr Ogof caves, to look at the Black Book of Carmarthen. Later I found what the welch call an dragon egg at the beach. It is egg shaped, smooth, white and a little translucent, looks like stone. I hold it when I need to calm down and think. The dragon who is born from it some day, I hope, is me.
The egg we are hunting now is the next JUMP. Weather the mysterious egg comes out of the butt of a bird, snake, fish or dragon, we will find it and open it. No strange organisation will be able to stop PIE. It is the oldest story in the mythology book, (or clay tablet) and our thoughts and expectations have power. What we can believe in, we can make happen, we can create. Just think of all the inventions that science fiction writers have dreamed up, that inspired researchers and were realised.
I have a dream!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Homesick for the river.
The ways people use surgery to alter their bodies, is not what I would choose. Sure I care if people think I look good or not but It's not my dream to be beautiful. I would wish to enhance myself not for looks but for practicality. I want fur. Not a fur coat from butchered animals, but my own fur growing from my skin. Fur like that of an otter, all over, the face too. That would protect me against the cold, water proof fur. And claws, a cute black nose and whiskers, a tail and all. I would spend all my time in the wilderness, half of it in the water.
I love rivers, rapids. Best time I ever had was in the river-rafting class, when we had to jump into the rapids of Kukkola to try out what we had learned about getting to the shore. I had a helmet and lifejacket on, and keept my body at the surface with my feet pointing downstream, and just followed the current. Like that old man in the daoistic story, I didn't fight the rapid I tried to 'be' it. I didn't use energy to swim against it, I trusted the river and it broght me to the shore.
I have grown up by the riverside, the Torne river. I don't feel right living away from an unbound river. The regulated tamed streams are not rivers. When I worked a summer at the museum Vollerim 6000 I lived by an heavily regulated river. I dreamt nightmares where the spirit of the river was crying for help, tortured and in pain and despair, and I blew the dams up in my dream. I didn't feel right there. Or here. You can take the girl out of Torne river but not Torne river out of the girl.
I still remember the day you said: 'the river flowing through your head would take you far or leave you dead', and all you said was true.
I love rivers, rapids. Best time I ever had was in the river-rafting class, when we had to jump into the rapids of Kukkola to try out what we had learned about getting to the shore. I had a helmet and lifejacket on, and keept my body at the surface with my feet pointing downstream, and just followed the current. Like that old man in the daoistic story, I didn't fight the rapid I tried to 'be' it. I didn't use energy to swim against it, I trusted the river and it broght me to the shore.
I have grown up by the riverside, the Torne river. I don't feel right living away from an unbound river. The regulated tamed streams are not rivers. When I worked a summer at the museum Vollerim 6000 I lived by an heavily regulated river. I dreamt nightmares where the spirit of the river was crying for help, tortured and in pain and despair, and I blew the dams up in my dream. I didn't feel right there. Or here. You can take the girl out of Torne river but not Torne river out of the girl.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Moonbathing & nightswimming.
This early in the spring everyone is as fishbelly-pale as I am. Later, I will stand out in a crowd beeing the only one still with a snowtan. I have to wear hats when I go out in the daylight and it makes me feel like Greta Garbo: "I want to be alone!" (Don't come any closer, I'm strange, mysterious and aloof. It's not that you don't like me, I didn't like you first!)I didn't choose to be a goth, it pretty much just comes naturally with the whole 'stay out of the sun' Lupus regime. And a black hat suits a hex.
But I have bought a new bikini! It's a monochrome black Panos Emporio, inspired by punk, with lots of nice details. The bottom has a scottish kilt inspired supershort skirt. I will wear it moonbathing on the deck of Coleridge, a Leisure 23 sailingboat. And nightswimming in the lake in the forest.
At midsummer, the Arctic Cirkle, midnight, the sun is weak. It almost sets at the horizon, stops, and then rises again. I like that month. If I can choose I sleep at daytime and stay up all nights instead... A very romantic time, that midnight sun time of the year.
But I have bought a new bikini! It's a monochrome black Panos Emporio, inspired by punk, with lots of nice details. The bottom has a scottish kilt inspired supershort skirt. I will wear it moonbathing on the deck of Coleridge, a Leisure 23 sailingboat. And nightswimming in the lake in the forest.
At midsummer, the Arctic Cirkle, midnight, the sun is weak. It almost sets at the horizon, stops, and then rises again. I like that month. If I can choose I sleep at daytime and stay up all nights instead... A very romantic time, that midnight sun time of the year.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Who is NOT a doll?
Since about a week back I have been blogging about relationships, about dreams: ones own, and the dreams of other people. Earlier I have blogged about the TV show Dollhouse and how it's a microcosm of society. It is, both when they are in there and the assignments the actives are sent out on. All are great material for discussion. My thoughts are occupied with questions about freedom, individualism, relationships and the capitalist consumerist society. Not that I believe the alternative (communism) is better! That's not what I'm on about. I just think we should take a good look at our own programming. Because we Are. Heavily. Programmed.
I guess that if I had paid any attention to literature class when we went over Ibsen's play 'A Dollhouse', I would be able to show off with references to it. Sadly, back then I thought that the society and family the play mirrored was extinct or severely injured and dying from the process of progress, and paid it little attention. But now it's all backlash! If the game's changed any, it is only because men now are used in the same way as only women used to be in old patriarchal society (in the open at least). We now have not a non patriarchal society, but new patriarchal society. Call it the Culture of Death or just 'Gray'. Just notice, please...
I guess that if I had paid any attention to literature class when we went over Ibsen's play 'A Dollhouse', I would be able to show off with references to it. Sadly, back then I thought that the society and family the play mirrored was extinct or severely injured and dying from the process of progress, and paid it little attention. But now it's all backlash! If the game's changed any, it is only because men now are used in the same way as only women used to be in old patriarchal society (in the open at least). We now have not a non patriarchal society, but new patriarchal society. Call it the Culture of Death or just 'Gray'. Just notice, please...
Snowboard Sister Sun
So I was talking to my old snowboard sister Sun and she was all nostalgic about the old days and the gang. I can remember some less fun stuff too, althought most of it seem funny afterwards. I was StraightXEdge then, but the gang wasn't... (They didn't smoke anything at least, ftw.) They figured that my potential to get free drinks from guys was going to waste. So they insisted that I walk up to guys, and the guy would then buy me a beer and I would say thanks, walk away with the beer and give it to them. I argued that I felt sorry for the guys that was supposed to pay for their beers. They replied that the kind of guys that buy girls beer just do it in the hope that the girl will later get into bed with the them. And so the beer-buyers where total sleezes anyway, and deserved this, it was like an feminist fine or something.
Another thing they wanted us girls to do was to make friends (flirt) with famous snowboarders (like Johan Olofsson) and then introduce the gang. Yaiks. I'm not a groupie... (And I seem to fall hard for skiiers not snowboarders anyway, looking at past records.)
But I miss the snow. Me, Sun, and the snow. Bliss.
Another thing they wanted us girls to do was to make friends (flirt) with famous snowboarders (like Johan Olofsson) and then introduce the gang. Yaiks. I'm not a groupie... (And I seem to fall hard for skiiers not snowboarders anyway, looking at past records.)
But I miss the snow. Me, Sun, and the snow. Bliss.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Not my Dream
Had to watch boring un-interactive tv entertainment last night,
to be 'social' (which I'm not beeing when I use the computor,
they say -_-).
But it payed off!
I got to see Thomas Di Leva say:
'That's their Dream.'
Those words will stay with me for ever...
Di Leva ftw!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Unorganize
"We don't want an organization. What is organic needs no organization. You build from without, we build from within. You use yourselves as building stones and fall apart outside and in. We are built up from the inside like a tree, and bridges grow between us that are not of dead materials and dead force. From us life itself issues. In you whatever is lifeless enters."
Kallocain p.90
This qoute explains my reluctance to be properly organised in any form. I never entered Ordo Serpentis, but lingered in the Conspirare forum. The gang and the goverment is no different, they make me 1% or how was it put by Jane's Addiction?
Antisocial, I am. Unable to 1)Organize & 2)Keep secrets.
I like secrets, to reveal them not to keep them. There are no truly Secret Organisations. Not secret to the allseeing E.Y.E. :-)
The only truly secret organisations are the ones that doesn't exist. Like the Kallocain qoute says. In the spirit of Daoism and Kropotkin-Anarchism.
No one is an island. No, I'm not Ibiza, not even Svalbard (more in line with my carachter than Ibiza? lol) Besides, C.G. Jung said some people are like islands, but even they are connected with everything else, beneath the sea. On a archetypical level of consciousness. On the deepest level all of humanity is ONE. (Maybe there are even deeper levels, where animals and all kinds of life, even plantlife, is ONE. In that case I think only the aboriginals is connected to that. Dreamtime, they call it. As an ecosystem even 'dead things' like snow & wind are connected to everything else, of course.)
Hm, just dawned on me... Hazel could be on Svalbard now. But my best guess on where there is an Dollhouse in scandinavia is Tromsø, Norway. I'ts close to Bardufoss, and the American military precence is strong there. It has the Worlds most northenmost University and a University hospital with research in biomedicine and psychiatry. I know about this because CosmiC lives there,I have often visited Troms in the past. He was acting very strange when he was in military sevice, I then believed they where testing out some kind of experimental drug in Bardufoss. (...We where ingaged at that time but I broke it off due to his irratic behavoiur and went back to CubiC.) ...I'm just speculating, but I'm guessing actives could be sent into Russia from there. In my opinion it has to be Tromsø. Or what if Tromsø is 'the attic'?
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Really NEW, or just a bit new?
People say they want something NEW but they generally mean something that is 99% old and 1% new. Give them something about 9% NEW, and they don't even bother to make an effort to find out what it's about. Or worse: they get angry, frustrated and confused. This is a fact known by most artist and something that is very stunting in the creative process - at least when one has to take in account that money has to be made in some way off the stuff one is creating. Of course there is the audience of other artists, that are very supportive and apprechiating, but they are probably not millionares... Too small of a following.
I admire anyone who is trying to get something really NEW out there under these circumstances. I symphatize with all who despite these conditions still try to be creative, and are hoping for some little progress to be made. My heart goes out to the ones who have made it big, but now are chained to their past creations by an loving fanbase, and the corporations that expect them to make money off these fans.
So this New Age that is supposed to have begun, the Age of Aquarius, why isn't it supporting more real change?
I admire anyone who is trying to get something really NEW out there under these circumstances. I symphatize with all who despite these conditions still try to be creative, and are hoping for some little progress to be made. My heart goes out to the ones who have made it big, but now are chained to their past creations by an loving fanbase, and the corporations that expect them to make money off these fans.
So this New Age that is supposed to have begun, the Age of Aquarius, why isn't it supporting more real change?
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Spiral
In my mind I have started to compare the Dollhouses to Mojo's Mojoverse. Mojo might be revolting, but he created the coolest supervillain ever, Spiral. And he does know how to put on a show.
Spiral is just amazing, her powers and how she use them - dancing! Her look: colours, style, beeing cyborg but yet using magic. She fights, she's a scientist, artist and whatnot. Six arms! In this picture she is looking a lot 'Valkyrish' too...
...But Spiral is, of course, quite insane and not somebody I identify with. No, not Emma Frost or Magik either, I have always identified with... Rogue!
Spiral is just amazing, her powers and how she use them - dancing! Her look: colours, style, beeing cyborg but yet using magic. She fights, she's a scientist, artist and whatnot. Six arms! In this picture she is looking a lot 'Valkyrish' too...
...But Spiral is, of course, quite insane and not somebody I identify with. No, not Emma Frost or Magik either, I have always identified with... Rogue!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The Dollhouse is a microcosm
Mike James put it well in his vid, which I watched now when its featured in the recently updated previous section of the Mnema R Prime-Lab site. "All the world is a stage, and the world is a lab - with drugs in it!"/Mike James
I think the Dollhouse is a microcosm.
And what does it say about us? If I judge from the Dollhouse episode 4, Gray Hour: That we are obsessed by beeing our 'best' or always trying to be. We think we should exercise because it's good for us, and always obey the doctors, take the drugs and treatments we are prescribed so that we better can preform the roles chosen for us to make profit for some amoral corporation. (This is starting to sound like it will be some kind of existensialist or marxist analysis. :-P my biodad and grandpa & granny would have been proud... or are proud in the spiritworld.)
...And anything traumatic can be cushioned by 'throw pillows and perfectly crunchy salad'...?? Not really, tv-'Topher'.
Aristotle said some people are born to be slaves. Caroline, when she volontered to be ECHO in tv-Dollhouse, said she didn't really have a choice. (I wonder what she meant by that.) She is now really beginning to resist the wiped state. I guess she wasn't born to be a slave...
Tv-'Topher' notices the dolls herd-behaviour. That reminded me of what Aldous Huxley wrote on Hitler's strategy on how the masses could be controlled, in his book Brave New world Revisited. Huxley calls it heard entoxication, heard poisoning. When you go with the mainstream and loose your individual self, you loose your critical ability. To Hitler, intellectuals were useless.
I only hope I will be utterly useless to the Gray... That's my life's mission! That's why I'm known as H2O hexagon, snowcrystal. I'm on my own so I won't be broken. It's cold and lonely, but I stay me.
My other blogpost on the 4:th Dollhuse episode, Gray Hour: The Dollhouse on Tv
I think the Dollhouse is a microcosm.
And what does it say about us? If I judge from the Dollhouse episode 4, Gray Hour: That we are obsessed by beeing our 'best' or always trying to be. We think we should exercise because it's good for us, and always obey the doctors, take the drugs and treatments we are prescribed so that we better can preform the roles chosen for us to make profit for some amoral corporation. (This is starting to sound like it will be some kind of existensialist or marxist analysis. :-P my biodad and grandpa & granny would have been proud... or are proud in the spiritworld.)
...And anything traumatic can be cushioned by 'throw pillows and perfectly crunchy salad'...?? Not really, tv-'Topher'.
Aristotle said some people are born to be slaves. Caroline, when she volontered to be ECHO in tv-Dollhouse, said she didn't really have a choice. (I wonder what she meant by that.) She is now really beginning to resist the wiped state. I guess she wasn't born to be a slave...
Tv-'Topher' notices the dolls herd-behaviour. That reminded me of what Aldous Huxley wrote on Hitler's strategy on how the masses could be controlled, in his book Brave New world Revisited. Huxley calls it heard entoxication, heard poisoning. When you go with the mainstream and loose your individual self, you loose your critical ability. To Hitler, intellectuals were useless.
I only hope I will be utterly useless to the Gray... That's my life's mission! That's why I'm known as H2O hexagon, snowcrystal. I'm on my own so I won't be broken. It's cold and lonely, but I stay me.
My other blogpost on the 4:th Dollhuse episode, Gray Hour: The Dollhouse on Tv
Monday, March 09, 2009
2109
Take a look this article about IT in 2109: Part 1:Qantum Entanglement, Mini Black Holes and Nanotech & Part 2: Living Quantum Computers, Mind Reading PCs, and DNA nanofiber CPUs.
...Conspirits will get the 2109 reference, sorry if anyone feels left out but it's an interesting article anyway. [Och conspiriter som glömt: gå till Conspirareforumet och sök på 2109! Förr eller senare blir det relevant igen...eller så inte. Vad vet jag? :-P]
Anyway, just to make it a bit clearer, there was speculation about 2109 beeing some part of The Others, or then again not. (temponauts, technomages, Thelema probably: '93' references, from the future?) They were helping Conspirits out with enochiana in a previous case, the Marika/Maria case as I call it. 2109 were tricksterish, manifesting themselves with jumbled messaging through computors. 2109 seemed to posess humor and poetry, thus we decided early on that they were not likely associated with the Grey. One could always hope they will help out again if they think we are touching upon a case that they view as important enough for them to interfere in. I think this case ought to have awakened their interest with it's future-changing potential. But why do they call themselves '2109'? I never got that. Back then I didn't get the '93' thing eighter, when it was so easy to research. 'Will' and 'love' doesn't exactly sound menacing... And what was that Metatron (=Thoth?) business, was it at all important? Metatrons Cube is cute tho', it looks like an hexagon from this angle!
Ah, well... angles, Angels...
...In my defence, it's not my cup of tea. I'm more of a 'Noaidi' kinda Hex, even if it probably comes down to the same thing in the end? Well someone adviced me to look better into it so now i tried a little. I'll try not to get in their way at least. There must be ppl better suited for that technomage stuff. I love author Michael Ende's The Never Ending Story. (...the book not the film, for Hel's sake!) But I'm not sure it's at all connected to 93. ;-P
...Or if any of it is connected to this current mission, more than by those concidered-as-hoaxes-vids at R prime-lab site from user 13 and those appearences of nickname 93 in the chat.
...Conspirits will get the 2109 reference, sorry if anyone feels left out but it's an interesting article anyway. [Och conspiriter som glömt: gå till Conspirareforumet och sök på 2109! Förr eller senare blir det relevant igen...eller så inte. Vad vet jag? :-P]
Anyway, just to make it a bit clearer, there was speculation about 2109 beeing some part of The Others, or then again not. (temponauts, technomages, Thelema probably: '93' references, from the future?) They were helping Conspirits out with enochiana in a previous case, the Marika/Maria case as I call it. 2109 were tricksterish, manifesting themselves with jumbled messaging through computors. 2109 seemed to posess humor and poetry, thus we decided early on that they were not likely associated with the Grey. One could always hope they will help out again if they think we are touching upon a case that they view as important enough for them to interfere in. I think this case ought to have awakened their interest with it's future-changing potential. But why do they call themselves '2109'? I never got that. Back then I didn't get the '93' thing eighter, when it was so easy to research. 'Will' and 'love' doesn't exactly sound menacing... And what was that Metatron (=Thoth?) business, was it at all important? Metatrons Cube is cute tho', it looks like an hexagon from this angle!
Ah, well... angles, Angels...
...In my defence, it's not my cup of tea. I'm more of a 'Noaidi' kinda Hex, even if it probably comes down to the same thing in the end? Well someone adviced me to look better into it so now i tried a little. I'll try not to get in their way at least. There must be ppl better suited for that technomage stuff. I love author Michael Ende's The Never Ending Story. (...the book not the film, for Hel's sake!) But I'm not sure it's at all connected to 93. ;-P
...Or if any of it is connected to this current mission, more than by those concidered-as-hoaxes-vids at R prime-lab site from user 13 and those appearences of nickname 93 in the chat.
Dollhouse 'Topher' VS Toph
I have recently watched the full episode Grey Hour and got thinking. Just what kind of person are we dealing with here?
I'm thinking about the possibility of identity theft in one way or another.
1) - What if R corp found Tophs abilitys useful, but his idealism disturbing... Couldn't they just have copyed his 'mentat'skills and edited out the idealism, and imprinted Toph with the altered version of himself? (Explaining his amoral stance as portrayed in tv-series Dollhouse, if the fiction is anything to go by...)
2) -Or, if they imprinted altered Toph on a doll, wiping real Toph and making him one of the dolls in there, or one that became selfaware and escaped?
-But then my old infiltrator theory:In the tv-series things keep getting wrong and 'Topher' is always acting like he's just making minor mistakes, or there is someone else interfering. In Gray Hour he's all defensive, and blaming his own impulsive nature for 'mistakes'(00:23:30-00:26:05)but what if the slackerish exentric thing is a cover up.
Could Toph be infiltrating Dollhouse? I mean real Toph in real Dollhouse. And secretly trying to sabotage R-corp? And what about the whole Hazel thing, and possibly Toph monitoring the Mnema R prime lab site? (someone is!)Just think about it, R-corp was going to go ahead with the project anyway. Most damage can be done from the inside...
I'd just rather have Toph on our side, but if he's not, then we have to make plans how tho deal with him. Like plan A, B, C, D, E, - Z...
If I'm right about identity-theft theory: 2) we'd have one version of Toph with us, and a R-corp version against us. TWO of them. Like an good and evil twin thing...
The discussion goes on... And on...
I'm thinking about the possibility of identity theft in one way or another.
1) - What if R corp found Tophs abilitys useful, but his idealism disturbing... Couldn't they just have copyed his 'mentat'skills and edited out the idealism, and imprinted Toph with the altered version of himself? (Explaining his amoral stance as portrayed in tv-series Dollhouse, if the fiction is anything to go by...)
2) -Or, if they imprinted altered Toph on a doll, wiping real Toph and making him one of the dolls in there, or one that became selfaware and escaped?
-But then my old infiltrator theory:In the tv-series things keep getting wrong and 'Topher' is always acting like he's just making minor mistakes, or there is someone else interfering. In Gray Hour he's all defensive, and blaming his own impulsive nature for 'mistakes'(00:23:30-00:26:05)but what if the slackerish exentric thing is a cover up.
Could Toph be infiltrating Dollhouse? I mean real Toph in real Dollhouse. And secretly trying to sabotage R-corp? And what about the whole Hazel thing, and possibly Toph monitoring the Mnema R prime lab site? (someone is!)Just think about it, R-corp was going to go ahead with the project anyway. Most damage can be done from the inside...
I'd just rather have Toph on our side, but if he's not, then we have to make plans how tho deal with him. Like plan A, B, C, D, E, - Z...
If I'm right about identity-theft theory: 2) we'd have one version of Toph with us, and a R-corp version against us. TWO of them. Like an good and evil twin thing...
The discussion goes on... And on...
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Cristopher Brink Astro!
Name: Cristopher Brink
January 27 1981
Los Angeles, CA
Rising Sign is in 24 Degrees Taurus
Calm and deliberate, you hate to move quickly or act hastily. Very practical, every effort must count or you can't be bothered. Patient, persistent and steady, but very stubborn -- you can't be pushed or pressured into anything. You seem outwardly self-assured because you tend to repress your inner tension and turmoil. You exude an earthy warmth, friendliness and charm. You demand comfortable surroundings and appreciate the good life. Be careful of a tendency to be overly self-indulgent. At times, you are lazy and difficult to motivate. Overcoming inertia is a problem for you and, because you are not by nature a self-starter, it is often necessary for you to receive stimuli from others in order to get moving.
Sun is in 07 Degrees Aquarius.
You get bored with the status quo and are generally open to new things and ideas. An individualist and a free spirit, your friends are quite important to you as long as they do not try to tie you down by making too many emotional demands on you. Your thoughts are offbeat and you're a bit eccentric, but not always very changeable. As a matter of fact, you can be quite stubborn at times. Very fair-minded when dealing with large groups or broad issues, you are not always emotionally sensitive to the needs of individuals. Extremely objective, with good powers of observation, you would be qualified to study technical and complicated subjects, like science, computers or maybe even astrology.
Moon is in 04 Degrees Scorpio.
Your feelings are very intense, never superficial. You tend to be either very angry or very sad or completely and totally happy. Your moods are deep, extreme and not always completely understood by yourself or by those with whom you have to deal. Emotionally, you tend to prefer to live at the cutting edge of life, pushing your reactions to the ultimate extremes, even if the results are dangerous or upsetting. You are easily jealous and very suspicious -- you require a great deal of emotional reassurance. A good detective, you are very curious about deep and mysterious things, especially human nature and motivations. Be careful not to be ruthless, tactless or too overly frank or you will meet with much resistance from others.
Mercury is in 24 Degrees Aquarius.
You tend to be very opinionated -- you have strongly felt notions about things and are quite vocal about expressing and defending them. Yet you are also an original thinker -- you enjoy shocking others with your offbeat, original thoughts. You appreciate and need mental and intellectual stimulation. Your judgment is usually fair and impartial -- you can be a good critic because you can remain objective and unemotional about most things.
Venus is in 20 Degrees Capricorn.
You tend to keep your feelings under control -- emotions are only released in serious or important situations. You are distrustful of others whose behavior could be judged excessive or immoderate. As such, you prefer to relate only to those who are older than you or to those whose position is such that respect and duty are more important for both of you than passion or emotional response. Be careful, however, of relationships that are merely based on practicality or utility or you will ultimately be lonely.
Mars is in 21 Degrees Aquarius.
Your ideas and opinions are usually inventive and original, but sometimes they are merely eccentric and offbeat. You are altruistic -- you will work hard for the attainment of group goals, as long as they meet your high standards. You tend to resent traditional authority figures because you think that your ideas are better thought out and more valuable than theirs. Very idealistic, you are a rebel WITH a cause!
Jupiter is in 10 Degrees Libra.
You are generally good at balancing opinions and judging issues, but you tend to be indecisive when it comes to making up your own mind. You are objective and quite concerned with fair play and justice. But, when it comes to yourself, you are so aware that whatever you do might upset the apple cart that you often choose to compromise rather than do anything that might make you lonely or vulnerable. Relationships are very important to you -- you learn about yourself and grow through observing yourself interacting with others. Your aesthetic tastes are refined, but expansive and expensive.
Saturn is in 09 Degrees Libra.
Although you take quite a while to make decisions, you usually consider all sides to a question, all the pros and cons, and the solution you come up with is very often the correct one. You tend to be very reserved and shy, but, once you make a commitment to someone (in either a business or personal relationship), the partnership is forever. You have a strong sense of justice and fair play and greatly respect the laws and institutions by which you are governed. As such, you are outraged when others break laws or show contempt for authority.
Uranus is in 29 Degrees Scorpio.
You, and your peer group, demand to confront life at its deepest and most meaningful levels. Very compulsive and obsessive in your approach to everything, you will avoid anything that is casual or superficial, especially when it comes to relationships. You will seek out and explore new methods of healing as well as different ways to deal with deep-seated emotional problems.
Neptune is in 23 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and your entire generation, are heavily involved in investigating and idealizing foreign and exotic intellectual systems and religious philosophies. The most extreme ideals will be pursued with gusto. You will be at the forefront of humanitarian attempts to improve the lot of those who are in need of assistance. You will be comfortable with the concept of the "global village."
Pluto is in 24 Degrees Libra.
For your entire generation, this is a time of radical changes in society's attitude toward marriage and interpersonal relationships. There is a general fear and awe at the power inherent in making emotional or contractual commitments -- they will not be entered into lightly.
N. Node is in 10 Degrees Leo.
You prefer to take the leadership role when it comes to dealing with others. You enjoy administering and organizing group activities. Others tend to listen to your suggestions because you aren't usually overly domineering or patronizing in your interactions. You love to entertain in a big way -- you're at your best when throwing a large and lavish party. Your popularity and social success are assured as long as you don't take others for granted -- resist the temptation to become snobbish and arrogant.
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*Thx 2 ASTROLABE!
*This horoscope is conflicted... Mainly between the emotional and intellectual personality traits. There is stuff in there that seems to confirm some of Dr. Roses observations and fits quite well on how Toph-wedge-99 was. Some things contradict the fictionary tv-Dollhouse Topher, that was in Dr. Roses assesment too: like the strong idealism. I tried Astrolabe on myself and some of my friends and found it fairly accurate.
...Toph is also born in the Year of the Monkey and under the Rowan Moon:
Celtic Astrology
Rowan tree people have visionary minds and well defined humanitarian principles. They remain, however, self contained individuals and their vision is not always shared by the rest of humanity. Their cool temperament disguises some passionate beliefs, for they need to argue their case against bigotry and ignorance. The new moon people born during the first two weeks tend to become impatient and frustrated in this struggle toward a greater awareness. Although they may be quite reticent on a personal level, they will, nevertheless, help pioneer great social changes with reforming zeal.
Chinese astrology
Resourceful, Charming, Persuasive, Amusing, Sociable, Cunning.
The always charming, super-energized Monkey is the partier of the Chinese Zodiac. Monkeys have an insatiable appetite for fun and activity. Having a good time comes very easily for them in any crowd. They are optimistic, witty and blessed with a razor sharp mind. While Monkeys love to be the center of attention, they are good listeners as well. Their bottomless curiosity ensures they will be knowledgeable on a wide variety of topics. Their intelligence allows them to address complex tasks and situations with ease. Monkeys are show-offs who love nothing more than to bedazzle those around them with their antics.
Most Monkeys do not have a highly developed sense of morality. Indeed, if its fun, they’ll do it. Their primary goal is the pursuit of their own pleasure. Monkeys make pleasurable, exhilarating lovers, but beware of the possibility they will stray. Monkeys will try anything once, and if it is the slightest bit entertaining are sure to try it again.
The Monkey’s self-serving attitude may be trouble for many other Signs of the Zodiac. They are very hedonistic and lacking in self-control. If they cannot find a party they will start their own.
*(...Or just party on their own? :-P)
Age of Aquarius & Transhumanism
I was thinking about this Aquarius stuff and came to the conclusion that, while the ppl I know that are born in that sign are indeed very uniqe and interesting, they are not at all (I'm sorry, but frankly!) the easiest ppl for everyone to get along with. Happiness with them all too often is a castle built by sand. Or snow. This has a charm of it's own of course. But just so ppl know what to expect from this New Age of Aquarius... It's not most ppl's idea of bliss. The changes in way of life that is ahead is clearly pushing at least parts of humanity into some or other kind of transhuman state. I think this is relevant both to Toph and to Dollhouse tech...
Just to paint a picture of what could be expected, I'm using Science Fiction as an example. And my fav author, Tanith Lee's FOUR-BEE series is an interesting vision of an transhuman society. In FOUR-BEE one can change body all together, and design it after every whim. Antennas, silver hair, wings and hologram skin, any gender. Whatever. This can be done over every month, and ppl in FOUR-BEE regurlary kill themselves to get a change. Dreamy? ...It turns out that beeing able to realise every dream with the aid of technology is ultimatly utterly boring and unfulfilling, at least to some. So they escape into the desert to live like 'Adam' and 'Eve' did after beeing threwn out of Eden. (According to Bible myth: that's some non-pagan book, you won't find it in the Edda)
Just to paint a picture of what could be expected, I'm using Science Fiction as an example. And my fav author, Tanith Lee's FOUR-BEE series is an interesting vision of an transhuman society. In FOUR-BEE one can change body all together, and design it after every whim. Antennas, silver hair, wings and hologram skin, any gender. Whatever. This can be done over every month, and ppl in FOUR-BEE regurlary kill themselves to get a change. Dreamy? ...It turns out that beeing able to realise every dream with the aid of technology is ultimatly utterly boring and unfulfilling, at least to some. So they escape into the desert to live like 'Adam' and 'Eve' did after beeing threwn out of Eden. (According to Bible myth: that's some non-pagan book, you won't find it in the Edda)
Saturn 8'th of March 2009!
Keep an eye or a telescope on Saturn! Now at it's closest to Earth, in opposition to the Sun. Also, read my previous post on the Saturn Return effect, and the mysterious Hexagon of Saturn. Otherwise, read the novel Saturns Children, or try making gold by Alchemy. Saturn named Saturday! Yay! Some say Saturn is the real source of Father Christmas, no less. Figure that! ...Remember my warning about the Big Red? Old Crow-headed Saturn is also Odin, Father Time (Chronos), and Death. So how far off was Terry Pratchetts Hogfather and Tim Burtons Nightmare before Christmas, really? And what about Neil Gaiman? Aoo, giving myself an headache now... Not feeling up to playing against Death…
. Some say we are at the starting point of the Age of Aquarius. There seam to be an air of hippie over this coming spring, but is Aquarius ruled by Saturn or Uranus?! Btw, unsurprisingly, Brink is an aquarius. Don't ask me what that entails (The planet Saturn has a bad rep), Astrology, Tarot and Liber 777 isn't really my forte, I just know it's out there... (Well wait, I'll have someone else draw up a chart 4 Toph...)
...But are we now on the brink of something, 'where no man has gone before'? What if this new tech isn't confined to Dollhouses? And does all applications of this tech really have to be bad? What are your thoughts?
. Some say we are at the starting point of the Age of Aquarius. There seam to be an air of hippie over this coming spring, but is Aquarius ruled by Saturn or Uranus?! Btw, unsurprisingly, Brink is an aquarius. Don't ask me what that entails (The planet Saturn has a bad rep), Astrology, Tarot and Liber 777 isn't really my forte, I just know it's out there... (Well wait, I'll have someone else draw up a chart 4 Toph...)
...But are we now on the brink of something, 'where no man has gone before'? What if this new tech isn't confined to Dollhouses? And does all applications of this tech really have to be bad? What are your thoughts?
Friday, March 06, 2009
Freezing Iza Rune
...I have decided to give the Coven format a second try. This time around, I was thinking not to expand beyond three members the first year. The Coven will have a Sami/Finnish/Nordic orientation, Ecopagan at that, and everyone involved has to be able to travel into and stay safely for a while in the Norhtern Mountains (Fjällvärlden) no matter what season of the Year. High demands, yes i know, but I find I'm powerless in city contexts, unfortunally... We'll make up the rest together as we go along. ...Ask me if you want to know more. :-)
I'm worried. I'm making up plans to try to release the Rimthurs - the Ice 'Giants'/Trolls upon the world to counterweigh global warming. But I can't do it alone, and besides is it really such a stellar idea? I need to travel into the Holy Mountains, where the ancestors dwell, to ask for guidance. Just spiritually, this time. Isak will know how to proceed, I hope... Iza, not beeing my favourite rune, still is vital to me. This is the time for froZEN meditation. I'm going into Skadi's realm for a while now. Silence. Clarity. Light. And maybe some answers will be revealed to me there... The way forward. Also, how to proceed with helping in Hazels mission. And some spirits to aid Hazel where she is now.
I'm worried. I'm making up plans to try to release the Rimthurs - the Ice 'Giants'/Trolls upon the world to counterweigh global warming. But I can't do it alone, and besides is it really such a stellar idea? I need to travel into the Holy Mountains, where the ancestors dwell, to ask for guidance. Just spiritually, this time. Isak will know how to proceed, I hope... Iza, not beeing my favourite rune, still is vital to me. This is the time for froZEN meditation. I'm going into Skadi's realm for a while now. Silence. Clarity. Light. And maybe some answers will be revealed to me there... The way forward. Also, how to proceed with helping in Hazels mission. And some spirits to aid Hazel where she is now.
The Dollhouse on Tv
I just watched some spoiler vids for next episode of Dollhouse: Gray Hour, (thx Eve, for posting a link at Operation Foxtrot!) and in the second vid ECHO is wiped with a signal through her mobile phone. Ohh, how interesting! If the tv-production is on to something, the wipe can be done over phone connection... Imprints too, maybe? Then anyone could become a Doll at any time! There wouldn't be a way to know your friends from your foes in this.
In the end of Stage Fright it seems as though ECHO and SIERRA is conscious of themselves even in the wiped state inside the Dollhouse. That reminds me of the beginning of the first ep, when sombody remarked on how you always CAN tell what it said before on a wiped slate, as an answer to the Tabula Rasa remark.
I erlier have been sceptical on how much you really can tell about the real Dollhouses from the fictional series Dollhouse, but I'm beeing drawn in. It is tempting to compare facts. Just as long as we keep a critical mindset toward the info coming from it - it's a fiction after all, the Joss Whedon series. But with real good research done.
I have been searching out blogs on Dollhouse and tried to recruit new ppl to Operation Foxtrot. Eve started it with the Dollhouse forums. Soon there will be a lot of press on Dollhouse here in Sweden, when it airs at April the 19:th on Tv400.
And btw: in Grey Hour, ECHOS real name is Caroline? There was a Caroline at the Mnema chat at one time, I think...
In the end of Stage Fright it seems as though ECHO and SIERRA is conscious of themselves even in the wiped state inside the Dollhouse. That reminds me of the beginning of the first ep, when sombody remarked on how you always CAN tell what it said before on a wiped slate, as an answer to the Tabula Rasa remark.
I erlier have been sceptical on how much you really can tell about the real Dollhouses from the fictional series Dollhouse, but I'm beeing drawn in. It is tempting to compare facts. Just as long as we keep a critical mindset toward the info coming from it - it's a fiction after all, the Joss Whedon series. But with real good research done.
I have been searching out blogs on Dollhouse and tried to recruit new ppl to Operation Foxtrot. Eve started it with the Dollhouse forums. Soon there will be a lot of press on Dollhouse here in Sweden, when it airs at April the 19:th on Tv400.
And btw: in Grey Hour, ECHOS real name is Caroline? There was a Caroline at the Mnema chat at one time, I think...
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Maker of Dollhouses
I'm currently in Skullhell and staying at sister Sun's. I try to get some work done on the computor but keep getting sidetracked and watching Dollhouse and whatnot. Her man is beside me playing WoW, and Sid the dog is at my feet. He thinks I'm beeing mighty boring today.
I visited an old friend from artschool who's making Dollhouses like fanart to The Addams Family and Amity ville. Mac used to identify me with Wednesday Addams due to the fact that I since childhood has been redesigning fashiondolls, like 'Dark Barbie'.
Mac showed me an interesting documentary, Tompta Gudh, about an evil breed that infests Scandinavian forests, but have their origins in Tibet: the Tomte. They probably thrive wherever there is snow so look out... Especially for the Big Red one, he's like their emperor. He's got all the ppl fooled...
Still no word on the whereabouts of Hazel, if she is on Greenland or not. I'm hoping she is on her way or already in Scandinavia. Just putting it out there that if there is a Dollhouse in Scandinavia that needs to be taken apart, and it's not one of Macs lovely creations, I'm up 4 it.
I visited an old friend from artschool who's making Dollhouses like fanart to The Addams Family and Amity ville. Mac used to identify me with Wednesday Addams due to the fact that I since childhood has been redesigning fashiondolls, like 'Dark Barbie'.Mac showed me an interesting documentary, Tompta Gudh, about an evil breed that infests Scandinavian forests, but have their origins in Tibet: the Tomte. They probably thrive wherever there is snow so look out... Especially for the Big Red one, he's like their emperor. He's got all the ppl fooled...
Still no word on the whereabouts of Hazel, if she is on Greenland or not. I'm hoping she is on her way or already in Scandinavia. Just putting it out there that if there is a Dollhouse in Scandinavia that needs to be taken apart, and it's not one of Macs lovely creations, I'm up 4 it.
Monday, March 02, 2009
I SEARCHME searched me...
...And come up with an interesting article about hexagonal water.
I'm just super cool am I not? [I don't usually go out of my way to advertise stuff like searchme but this is 4 my cousins family. Luv ya Bill, Zoe & Jessi!]
...The real reason H2Ohexagon or Snowcrystal/Snowflake fits me as a nickname is humbling: but NO, you may NOT call me Agent Dandruff, thank you very much... Actually there is theories about dandruff making sense evolutionary.
Well, not much solice 4 me.
Googling H2O heX-files gave me these hits: The Hex Files, another one: The Hex Files And this: Hex Files, and a Oldshool gaming site, a 'Goth Bible', a paranormal forum section, a comicbook, an anime and more... No other H2O heX-files tho'.
More fun finds on the net: Hexagons are significant in the secret math of I Ching, too. Hexagrams encoded in the DNA? Runes encoded in DNA? [no not really...]My favorite runes are Teiwaz, Hagalaz & Thurizas, btw. I think my valkyria nature is overpowering my loving dito. 'Hit med lite äventyr, det är på tiden!' I feel a 'spring cry' coming on. But now is the time to study and work, regrettably, and not to play.
...Sid the dog thought otherwise and dragged me around Skullhell for two hours in the snowstorm. No match 4 the White Witch...
'Snowflakes are formed as super-cooled water condenses around particulate matter in the atmosphere. Super-cooled water is nearly 100% hexagonally structured.'
I'm just super cool am I not? [I don't usually go out of my way to advertise stuff like searchme but this is 4 my cousins family. Luv ya Bill, Zoe & Jessi!]
...The real reason H2Ohexagon or Snowcrystal/Snowflake fits me as a nickname is humbling: but NO, you may NOT call me Agent Dandruff, thank you very much... Actually there is theories about dandruff making sense evolutionary.
Well, not much solice 4 me.
Googling H2O heX-files gave me these hits: The Hex Files, another one: The Hex Files And this: Hex Files, and a Oldshool gaming site, a 'Goth Bible', a paranormal forum section, a comicbook, an anime and more... No other H2O heX-files tho'.More fun finds on the net: Hexagons are significant in the secret math of I Ching, too. Hexagrams encoded in the DNA? Runes encoded in DNA? [no not really...]My favorite runes are Teiwaz, Hagalaz & Thurizas, btw. I think my valkyria nature is overpowering my loving dito. 'Hit med lite äventyr, det är på tiden!' I feel a 'spring cry' coming on. But now is the time to study and work, regrettably, and not to play.
...Sid the dog thought otherwise and dragged me around Skullhell for two hours in the snowstorm. No match 4 the White Witch...
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Identity wants to be Free
Looks like we will have to kick some doll butt? (I don't know what help I will be, appearently my battle cry is more in the lines of:'Peace and harmony at all costs!' according to my astorlogical profile... It does say 'at all costs' tho'...That is a bit agressive :-))
But who are we and who are dolls? And the dolls are ppl too, just brainwashed, dangerous ones... And who doesn't love playing with dolls btw?
I remember the lyrics of Barbie Girl by danish 90'ties popgroup Aqua:
Now, Barbie is turning 50, but I'm more into Jem dolls, myself. Synergy (an A.I.), Shana (Outrageous! Fashion Designer) and Aya (grew up in foster care) are my favs... The Misfits are cool too, but was there ever a Techrat doll made? I want one. His bio, from the Jemgirl's site:
So, he's a little creepy (not as creepy Thin Man tho') but stylish, and reminds me of someone...
But who are we and who are dolls? And the dolls are ppl too, just brainwashed, dangerous ones... And who doesn't love playing with dolls btw?
I remember the lyrics of Barbie Girl by danish 90'ties popgroup Aqua:
Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees//
I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
Now, Barbie is turning 50, but I'm more into Jem dolls, myself. Synergy (an A.I.), Shana (Outrageous! Fashion Designer) and Aya (grew up in foster care) are my favs... The Misfits are cool too, but was there ever a Techrat doll made? I want one. His bio, from the Jemgirl's site:
Techrat is an electronics genius. He has his own lab called the ‘Rathole’ where he has masses of computers, gadgets and the place he performs his electronic inventions. He is hired by Eric Raymond to create gadgets for the Misfits which usually are for the purpose of messing up Jem and The Holograms concerts. Some of his inventions include, remote controls, frequency jammers, laser light gadgets, flying objects and even a time machine. So often, his gadgets end up being destroyed by Pizzazz due to the fact she wants to have a play. Techrat is rather introverted and is happy to spend hours at a time working on his inventions. Still, he finds interaction with people an enjoyment only when he has completed a project and can show it off to his audience. He gets along better with his computers than he does with people. He doesn’t like to be too close to people and hates being touched. Techrat is kept as Eric’s secret weapon against Jem and the Holograms and they have never seen him and do not know he exists. Techrat enjoys the games played against Jem and the Holograms and loves to see his gadgets take on their full impact this way.
So, he's a little creepy (not as creepy Thin Man tho') but stylish, and reminds me of someone...
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