May fires & sex rites... or just gardening.

May/Valborg/Beltaine rites are often related to sex. But while I see no point in denying that sex is an interest of mine, it is not something I engage in in for ritual purposes. I am not that kind of witch (thought I know a few...). Sex can bring intense feelings but it is not magic, and I look upon it as cheating a bit. Like I think it is cheating to use drugs or alcohol in rites really. I cheat a little at Valborg evening, I drink beer. :-)

I have a relationship directly with nature that aquire nothing else to instill me with a sense of wonder and worship, that is as intense as an infatuation. The feeling I have is beyond intellectual edmiration of natures beauty and cruelty. The intellectual understanding of nature deepens the feeling but is not the source of it. I feel bliss in every cell of my body and I forget about myself when I am out in nature alone. (Other humans most often spoil it for me by talking.)

I am born a hex. At six years old I went into the woods behind the cottage and made my very first altar on a big rock that was flat on top. I gathered curious and beautiful finds there, like a cranium of a raindeer, feathers and stones that glittered or of strong colour and wierd shaped branches. I also made paint from berries and made signs at the altar. I do not know where I got the ideas from. My foster family where atheists, I knew nothing of my herritage then.

Now we are leaving for Valborg celabration. Lo from the collective has rented a car. First we are going to see that Coleridge is all right in the winter storage, before we continue to the cottage by the sea. We have lots of work to do there at this time of year. Both with the boat and the cottage garden. I am bringing novels and rubber boots with me. There will be no internet. But we will manage. We will pretend it is after the civilization has fallen, like in that song "You and the Candles".

Frozen feelings

If I'm smitten with someone and he picks up on that and he is interested and change his behavior towards me - I freeze up inside. I loose all interest. I figure out what words or actions that would alienate the person and then I do it. It is over before it ever really began.

You might think I have problems with attatchment or commitment or something. Maybe it is that too. But what I feel is not fear but weariness. "Now the game begins" I think. I notice myself responding to how I am supposed to react when he is doing his part. I am revolted by it. And in that same moment it dies for me.

That is why I keep my feelings inside me and shelter them. To let them last longer. I do not think it is possible to start a relationship without falling into the old tracks that are shown to us by media and the world around all of us. Yes there are different variations. But they all feel fake and unsatisfactory to me.

If you who are reading have a suggestion for a sollution to this problem of mine you are very welcome to comment on my post. Even if you just want to tell me I am completly wrong and pretentious or something. I am fully aware of the fact that I am dysfunctional and strange. :-D

Hex fires

Now the ancient fire festival of Valborg/Walpurgis, (or Beltaine) is beeing prepared. I have seen many bonfires beeing stacked. Sweden is very secularised but all the old heathen festivals are still celebrated by almost all, but concidered just fun tradition by the majority. This makes it easy to be a practising heathen.
We usually travel to the summer house, clean up the lawn and spend Valborg there. So also this year... I love it. It is the first time of the year we go there. And now there is all the spring flowers. Yesterday and today it has been real summer weather, too. We also go there because the biggest bonfire is usually on the beach next to the cottage and we don't want it to be burnt down. It's traditional to get drunk at Valborg and that is a dangerous combination with fire and fire crackers, that are used to scare evil spirits away.

The tradition tell that the Hexes would have a party this night and then return from Blåkulla "Bluehill", where they had resided since Easter or Ostara. From there they brought back the vegetation spirit to the land so the summer would be bountyful. The May Queen brought it with her in the shape of a seed like Persephone in greek tradition. The fires could symbolise the guiding light of the torches of Hecate who was known to the romans as Diana Lucifera or Diana Lucina. (Interesting that we in Sweden at midwinter have the Lucia tradition.) Since the Hexes flew in the dark the May fires made it easier to find their way back home. Of course they didn't really fly they were just high. It has old shamanistic roots. Now we just get drunk. :-)

Diana Lucina/Hecate is not forgotten...

America

Once upon a time a sami family from Finland emigrated to America. One of the daughters was my great grandmother, also a hex. She worked as an waitress and met my great grandfather. They had a farm and my grandmother was born. My great grandfather inherrited a farm in Finland so they moved back. My grandmother married a charming but bad man, against the will of her parents. My grandfather. During the war she escaped with her children into Sweden and married another man. And converted to Jehovas witnesses. I remember this much from what my aunt told me. I was most interested in the part that my great grandmother was an hex too. Do I remember it wrong if I think it was Michigan they made their American farm in? I wonder if I still have relatives back there. Did my great grandmother have sisters who stayed back there and who had daughters and granddaughters?

Now when I have researched finns in Michigan a little I just have to cite this slightly racist remark the folklorist, Richard Dorson made about the finn emigrant community in his classic Blood Stoppers and Bear Walkers:

The coming of the Finn has rocked the north woods country. He is today what the red man was two centuries ago, the exotic stranger from another world. In many ways the popular myths surrounding the Indian and the Finn run parallel. Both derive from a shadowy Mongolian stock - ‘just look at their raised cheek-bones and slanting eyes.’ Both possess supernatural stamina, strength, and tenacity. Both drink feverishly and fight barbarously. Both practice shamanistic magic and ritual, drawn from a deep well of folk belief. Both are secretive, clannish, inscrutable, and steadfast in their own peculiar social code.

It tells me something of how the finns were recieved if nothing else. It is not at all stange to me now that my great grandmother and her husband decided to go home to Finland again. My aunt said that my great grandmother missed the genius loci of her homeland. I guess it was like me missing the Torne river now.

Awen

The only strong experience of Awen I ever had was walking by an gigantic ancient Birch tree at home. It was a quite ordinary day and I was neither glad, sad or empthy feeling. I had not eating anything special or starved myself eigther, had not prayed or meditated or dreamt anything unusual that night. I didn't feel a longing for God to show up, and I do NOT think I was choosen or spoken to by God allmighty or anything like that. That's not how I think it works. Was it even the tree? It is a tree I must have walked past a thousend times and climbed a hundered times.

But in that moment I was made aware that everything is One and Love.

Thought this was an beautiful experience that I often try to recall in my memory, I don't try consciously to repeat it. I am happy that I don't have those all the time, it would become an nuiscence. But I would wish that everyone could have one such experience in their life. But I also belive that when we die, all of us no longer have the mental walls up that separate us from knowing that we are and have always been part of it: God or Hel or whatever you want to call it.

Now Baron, one of the founders of P.I.E. is experiencing something that he puts into words with references to tv series Twin Peaks. He says fire is walking with him and talking to him. And he is saying meny strange things, sounding like an oracle with a fondness for David Lynch productions. We are having some trouble interpreting him, but it will be interesting to see where all this ends up.

Blacksmiths & Black magic

I bought this viking age style glass today. This model was found at Birka. Come Beltaine I will drink Wytchwood brew from it! Since before I have a bowl and a money purse from Birka that my brother gave me. I have some jewelery too, quite much. When we sailed to Birka on Coleridge last summer, I bought a crystal pearl. My collection of replikas is growing, I hoard like a dragon. I like how much of the things are made in the same way now as they were back then. From my aunt I found out that we have some Vallon blood in our family, and she said my eyes are Vallon.

The Vallons were blacksmiths and magicians. Or people thought there was some magic to the blacksmithing that they were so secretive about. I have many different streaks of magicians in my family history, and on both sides too. Most of it is sami. I love to hear storys about my ancestors. Some of them are infamous. Well, one of them. He had a bit of a temper. I wouldn't strike someone with blindness, even if it was just for four days. To begin with, I don't care to find out how to do something like that. And then there is the Law of Return. Who knows, my wiccan sisters could be right, there might be something to it...

I'm pondering something the mysterious 'Gerrymander' left as a message to the PIE crew: "To see ahead you must learn what has come before."

Well, that is true for my life too. I want to learn as much as I can about my ancestors and history around them. Like, what was special about the skolt samis that set them apart from other samis? This summer I'd like to travel to Inari to find out. I am also intrigued bu the Komsa culture. When I worked at Voullerim 6000 we made a research trip to Alta to look at the place it was discovered with professor Westfahl. It's interesting the way genetic research changes our outloook on sami history in Scandinavia and western Europe right now. And all peoples all around the world. Like when they found out the viking queen buried in Norway was persian! Peoples have wandered around and blended with eachother.

Ohh, I want to participate in the Genographic project. Too bad I have no brother on my biofathers side though. Maybe this research will counteract racism. I know I am a total mix and I am happy about it, just more of history to feel connected to. My microbiologist friend who is han chinese, told me that the split toenail I have is a sign I also have han chinese ancestry. I was intrigued, I love daoistic philosophy and long before I ever heard about Dao De Jing I heard sentences from it in my dreams. I was also awed when I found out the linkage between samis and berbers of noth africa 9000 years ago! But there is another aspect to it also. Now research in immunology is done on samis, and I have donated my blood tests to research on Lupus. The long dark winters in the arctic may have changed the samis immune system, researchers theorize. Maybe knowledge of the past will lead to a cure...

The Phoenix bird of Hope.

My lupus is in remission. I now have reached a subclinical level of inflammation, no longer burning up with rheumathic fever. I'm picking myself up from the ashes and regenerate once again, just like the Phoenix bird. The creature of Hope.

The Phoenix bird is also the logo for Paranormal Investigation Experts or PIE, a group I have been following and joined forces with some weeks ago. Hector, the brains of the pair that founded the group, has a theory called the JUMP theory. Or in my language: 'HOPP teorin'. HOPP is a nordic word that in it's anglicised version is written HOPE. So for me the JUMP theory is also a message about HOPE for a better future. (You did know that english originates from Nordic language? There is a saying: 'You cannot be born, live or die without speaking Nordic' ...Isn't that true, geekgrl2019?)

But the story of the Phoenix bird also tells about the pain of recreation, renewal. Before it can be reborn, it has to burn up in fire. (Think also of the beloved hindu God Shiva, the Destroyer.) There is always going to be people who don't want things to change, because they have more to gain by preserving their own power. And so it is in this case too. Somebody is sendig blueclad zombiefied goons to harass Hector and Baron, and the same people is trying to prevent the JUMP from happening again. Probably 'Greyish' types. They will fail. Resistance is futile.

Call it Ostara, Eostre, Easter or what you will. Doesn't matter what religion, this time of year is significant. This is the season of hope, beginning NOW. The egg - a really strong symbol in myths of all cultures. On the outside it looks like a dead stone (and often is camoflaged that way too, in pattern and colour) but from it comes life or a new way of life. Ptah the creator shaped the world egg in Egyptian myth. And many more cultures muse about the world beeing shaped from an egg. My own ancestors, the finnish, too. The druids say the egg is not from a bird but from a snake or dragon.

Wales, Cymry, is the land of the red dragon. I went to Aberystwyth at Lughnasadh the same day as my initiation in the Dan yr Ogof caves, to look at the Black Book of Carmarthen. Later I found what the welch call an dragon egg at the beach. It is egg shaped, smooth, white and a little translucent, looks like stone. I hold it when I need to calm down and think. The dragon who is born from it some day, I hope, is me.

The egg we are hunting now is the next JUMP. Weather the mysterious egg comes out of the butt of a bird, snake, fish or dragon, we will find it and open it. No strange organisation will be able to stop PIE. It is the oldest story in the mythology book, (or clay tablet) and our thoughts and expectations have power. What we can believe in, we can make happen, we can create. Just think of all the inventions that science fiction writers have dreamed up, that inspired researchers and were realised.
I have a dream!

Homesick for the river.

The ways people use surgery to alter their bodies, is not what I would choose. Sure I care if people think I look good or not but It's not my dream to be beautiful. I would wish to enhance myself not for looks but for practicality. I want fur. Not a fur coat from butchered animals, but my own fur growing from my skin. Fur like that of an otter, all over, the face too. That would protect me against the cold, water proof fur. And claws, a cute black nose and whiskers, a tail and all. I would spend all my time in the wilderness, half of it in the water.

I still remember the day you said: 'the river flowing through your head would take you far or leave you dead', and all you said was true.

I love rivers, rapids. Best time I ever had was in the river-rafting class, when we had to jump into the rapids of Kukkola to try out what we had learned about getting to the shore. I had a helmet and lifejacket on, and keept my body at the surface with my feet pointing downstream, and just followed the current. Like that old man in the daoistic story, I didn't fight the rapid I tried to 'be' it. I didn't use energy to swim against it, I trusted the river and it broght me to the shore.

I have grown up by the riverside, the Torne river. I don't feel right living away from an unbound river. The regulated tamed streams are not rivers. When I worked a summer at the museum Vollerim 6000 I lived by an heavily regulated river. I dreamt nightmares where the spirit of the river was crying for help, tortured and in pain and despair, and I blew the dams up in my dream. I didn't feel right there. Or here. You can take the girl out of Torne river but not Torne river out of the girl.

Moonbathing & nightswimming.

This early in the spring everyone is as fishbelly-pale as I am. Later, I will stand out in a crowd beeing the only one still with a snowtan. I have to wear hats when I go out in the daylight and it makes me feel like Greta Garbo: "I want to be alone!" (Don't come any closer, I'm strange, mysterious and aloof. It's not that you don't like me, I didn't like you first!)I didn't choose to be a goth, it pretty much just comes naturally with the whole 'stay out of the sun' Lupus regime. And a black hat suits a hex.

But I have bought a new bikini! It's a monochrome black Panos Emporio, inspired by punk, with lots of nice details. The bottom has a scottish kilt inspired supershort skirt. I will wear it moonbathing on the deck of Coleridge, a Leisure 23 sailingboat. And nightswimming in the lake in the forest.
At midsummer, the Arctic Cirkle, midnight, the sun is weak. It almost sets at the horizon, stops, and then rises again. I like that month. If I can choose I sleep at daytime and stay up all nights instead... A very romantic time, that midnight sun time of the year.

Who is NOT a doll?

Since about a week back I have been blogging about relationships, about dreams: ones own, and the dreams of other people. Earlier I have blogged about the TV show Dollhouse and how it's a microcosm of society. It is, both when they are in there and the assignments the actives are sent out on. All are great material for discussion. My thoughts are occupied with questions about freedom, individualism, relationships and the capitalist consumerist society. Not that I believe the alternative (communism) is better! That's not what I'm on about. I just think we should take a good look at our own programming. Because we Are. Heavily. Programmed.

I guess that if I had paid any attention to literature class when we went over Ibsen's play 'A Dollhouse', I would be able to show off with references to it. Sadly, back then I thought that the society and family the play mirrored was extinct or severely injured and dying from the process of progress, and paid it little attention. But now it's all backlash! If the game's changed any, it is only because men now are used in the same way as only women used to be in old patriarchal society (in the open at least). We now have not a non patriarchal society, but new patriarchal society. Call it the Culture of Death or just 'Gray'. Just notice, please...

Snowboard Sister Sun

So I was talking to my old snowboard sister Sun and she was all nostalgic about the old days and the gang. I can remember some less fun stuff too, althought most of it seem funny afterwards. I was StraightXEdge then, but the gang wasn't... (They didn't smoke anything at least, ftw.) They figured that my potential to get free drinks from guys was going to waste. So they insisted that I walk up to guys, and the guy would then buy me a beer and I would say thanks, walk away with the beer and give it to them. I argued that I felt sorry for the guys that was supposed to pay for their beers. They replied that the kind of guys that buy girls beer just do it in the hope that the girl will later get into bed with the them. And so the beer-buyers where total sleezes anyway, and deserved this, it was like an feminist fine or something.
Another thing they wanted us girls to do was to make friends (flirt) with famous snowboarders (like Johan Olofsson) and then introduce the gang. Yaiks. I'm not a groupie... (And I seem to fall hard for skiiers not snowboarders anyway, looking at past records.)

But I miss the snow. Me, Sun, and the snow. Bliss.

Not my Dream

Had to watch boring un-interactive tv entertainment last night,
to be 'social' (which I'm not beeing when I use the computor,
they say -_-).
But it payed off!
I got to see Thomas Di Leva say:
'That's their Dream.'
Those words will stay with me for ever...
Di Leva ftw!

Unorganize

"We don't want an organization. What is organic needs no organization. You build from without, we build from within. You use yourselves as building stones and fall apart outside and in. We are built up from the inside like a tree, and bridges grow between us that are not of dead materials and dead force. From us life itself issues. In you whatever is lifeless enters."
Kallocain p.90

This qoute explains my reluctance to be properly organised in any form. I never entered Ordo Serpentis, but lingered in the Conspirare forum. The gang and the goverment is no different, they make me 1% or how was it put by Jane's Addiction?

Antisocial, I am. Unable to 1)Organize & 2)Keep secrets.
I like secrets, to reveal them not to keep them. There are no truly Secret Organisations. Not secret to the allseeing E.Y.E. :-)
The only truly secret organisations are the ones that doesn't exist. Like the Kallocain qoute says. In the spirit of Daoism and Kropotkin-Anarchism.

No one is an island. No, I'm not Ibiza, not even Svalbard (more in line with my carachter than Ibiza? lol) Besides, C.G. Jung said some people are like islands, but even they are connected with everything else, beneath the sea. On a archetypical level of consciousness. On the deepest level all of humanity is ONE. (Maybe there are even deeper levels, where animals and all kinds of life, even plantlife, is ONE. In that case I think only the aboriginals is connected to that. Dreamtime, they call it. As an ecosystem even 'dead things' like snow & wind are connected to everything else, of course.)

Hm, just dawned on me... Hazel could be on Svalbard now. But my best guess on where there is an Dollhouse in scandinavia is Tromsø, Norway. I'ts close to Bardufoss, and the American military precence is strong there. It has the Worlds most northenmost University and a University hospital with research in biomedicine and psychiatry. I know about this because CosmiC lives there,I have often visited Troms in the past. He was acting very strange when he was in military sevice, I then believed they where testing out some kind of experimental drug in Bardufoss. (...We where ingaged at that time but I broke it off due to his irratic behavoiur and went back to CubiC.) ...I'm just speculating, but I'm guessing actives could be sent into Russia from there. In my opinion it has to be Tromsø. Or what if Tromsø is 'the attic'?

Really NEW, or just a bit new?

People say they want something NEW but they generally mean something that is 99% old and 1% new. Give them something about 9% NEW, and they don't even bother to make an effort to find out what it's about. Or worse: they get angry, frustrated and confused. This is a fact known by most artist and something that is very stunting in the creative process - at least when one has to take in account that money has to be made in some way off the stuff one is creating. Of course there is the audience of other artists, that are very supportive and apprechiating, but they are probably not millionares... Too small of a following.

I admire anyone who is trying to get something really NEW out there under these circumstances. I symphatize with all who despite these conditions still try to be creative, and are hoping for some little progress to be made. My heart goes out to the ones who have made it big, but now are chained to their past creations by an loving fanbase, and the corporations that expect them to make money off these fans.

So this New Age that is supposed to have begun, the Age of Aquarius, why isn't it supporting more real change?

Spiral

In my mind I have started to compare the Dollhouses to Mojo's Mojoverse. Mojo might be revolting, but he created the coolest supervillain ever, Spiral. And he does know how to put on a show.
Spiral is just amazing, her powers and how she use them - dancing! Her look: colours, style, beeing cyborg but yet using magic. She fights, she's a scientist, artist and whatnot. Six arms! In this picture she is looking a lot 'Valkyrish' too...

...But Spiral is, of course, quite insane and not somebody I identify with. No, not Emma Frost or Magik either, I have always identified with... Rogue!

The Dollhouse is a microcosm

Mike James put it well in his vid, which I watched now when its featured in the recently updated previous section of the Mnema R Prime-Lab site. "All the world is a stage, and the world is a lab - with drugs in it!"/Mike James

I think the Dollhouse is a microcosm.
And what does it say about us? If I judge from the Dollhouse episode 4, Gray Hour: That we are obsessed by beeing our 'best' or always trying to be. We think we should exercise because it's good for us, and always obey the doctors, take the drugs and treatments we are prescribed so that we better can preform the roles chosen for us to make profit for some amoral corporation. (This is starting to sound like it will be some kind of existensialist or marxist analysis. :-P my biodad and grandpa & granny would have been proud... or are proud in the spiritworld.)
...And anything traumatic can be cushioned by 'throw pillows and perfectly crunchy salad'...?? Not really, tv-'Topher'.

Aristotle said some people are born to be slaves. Caroline, when she volontered to be ECHO in tv-Dollhouse, said she didn't really have a choice. (I wonder what she meant by that.) She is now really beginning to resist the wiped state. I guess she wasn't born to be a slave...

Tv-'Topher' notices the dolls herd-behaviour. That reminded me of what Aldous Huxley wrote on Hitler's strategy on how the masses could be controlled, in his book Brave New world Revisited. Huxley calls it heard entoxication, heard poisoning. When you go with the mainstream and loose your individual self, you loose your critical ability. To Hitler, intellectuals were useless.

I only hope I will be utterly useless to the Gray... That's my life's mission! That's why I'm known as H2O hexagon, snowcrystal. I'm on my own so I won't be broken. It's cold and lonely, but I stay me.

My other blogpost on the 4:th Dollhuse episode, Gray Hour: The Dollhouse on Tv

2109

Take a look this article about IT in 2109: Part 1:Qantum Entanglement, Mini Black Holes and Nanotech & Part 2: Living Quantum Computers, Mind Reading PCs, and DNA nanofiber CPUs.
...Conspirits will get the 2109 reference, sorry if anyone feels left out but it's an interesting article anyway. [Och conspiriter som glömt: gå till Conspirareforumet och sök på 2109! Förr eller senare blir det relevant igen...eller så inte. Vad vet jag? :-P]
Anyway, just to make it a bit clearer, there was speculation about 2109 beeing some part of The Others, or then again not. (temponauts, technomages, Thelema probably: '93' references, from the future?) They were helping Conspirits out with enochiana in a previous case, the Marika/Maria case as I call it. 2109 were tricksterish, manifesting themselves with jumbled messaging through computors. 2109 seemed to posess humor and poetry, thus we decided early on that they were not likely associated with the Grey. One could always hope they will help out again if they think we are touching upon a case that they view as important enough for them to interfere in. I think this case ought to have awakened their interest with it's future-changing potential. But why do they call themselves '2109'? I never got that. Back then I didn't get the '93' thing eighter, when it was so easy to research. 'Will' and 'love' doesn't exactly sound menacing... And what was that Metatron (=Thoth?) business, was it at all important? Metatrons Cube is cute tho', it looks like an hexagon from this angle!
Ah, well... angles, Angels...
...In my defence, it's not my cup of tea. I'm more of a 'Noaidi' kinda Hex, even if it probably comes down to the same thing in the end? Well someone adviced me to look better into it so now i tried a little. I'll try not to get in their way at least. There must be ppl better suited for that technomage stuff. I love author Michael Ende's The Never Ending Story. (...the book not the film, for Hel's sake!) But I'm not sure it's at all connected to 93. ;-P
...Or if any of it is connected to this current mission, more than by those concidered-as-hoaxes-vids at R prime-lab site from user 13 and those appearences of nickname 93 in the chat.

Dollhouse 'Topher' VS Toph

I have recently watched the full episode Grey Hour and got thinking. Just what kind of person are we dealing with here?

I'm thinking about the possibility of identity theft in one way or another.
1) - What if R corp found Tophs abilitys useful, but his idealism disturbing... Couldn't they just have copyed his 'mentat'skills and edited out the idealism, and imprinted Toph with the altered version of himself? (Explaining his amoral stance as portrayed in tv-series Dollhouse, if the fiction is anything to go by...)
2) -Or, if they imprinted altered Toph on a doll, wiping real Toph and making him one of the dolls in there, or one that became selfaware and escaped?

-But then my old infiltrator theory:In the tv-series things keep getting wrong and 'Topher' is always acting like he's just making minor mistakes, or there is someone else interfering. In Gray Hour he's all defensive, and blaming his own impulsive nature for 'mistakes'(00:23:30-00:26:05)but what if the slackerish exentric thing is a cover up.
Could Toph be infiltrating Dollhouse? I mean real Toph in real Dollhouse. And secretly trying to sabotage R-corp? And what about the whole Hazel thing, and possibly Toph monitoring the Mnema R prime lab site? (someone is!)Just think about it, R-corp was going to go ahead with the project anyway. Most damage can be done from the inside...

I'd just rather have Toph on our side, but if he's not, then we have to make plans how tho deal with him. Like plan A, B, C, D, E, - Z...

If I'm right about identity-theft theory: 2) we'd have one version of Toph with us, and a R-corp version against us. TWO of them. Like an good and evil twin thing...
The discussion goes on... And on...

Cristopher Brink Astro!

Name: Cristopher Brink
January 27 1981
Los Angeles, CA

Rising Sign is in 24 Degrees Taurus
Calm and deliberate, you hate to move quickly or act hastily. Very practical, every effort must count or you can't be bothered. Patient, persistent and steady, but very stubborn -- you can't be pushed or pressured into anything. You seem outwardly self-assured because you tend to repress your inner tension and turmoil. You exude an earthy warmth, friendliness and charm. You demand comfortable surroundings and appreciate the good life. Be careful of a tendency to be overly self-indulgent. At times, you are lazy and difficult to motivate. Overcoming inertia is a problem for you and, because you are not by nature a self-starter, it is often necessary for you to receive stimuli from others in order to get moving.

Sun is in 07 Degrees Aquarius.
You get bored with the status quo and are generally open to new things and ideas. An individualist and a free spirit, your friends are quite important to you as long as they do not try to tie you down by making too many emotional demands on you. Your thoughts are offbeat and you're a bit eccentric, but not always very changeable. As a matter of fact, you can be quite stubborn at times. Very fair-minded when dealing with large groups or broad issues, you are not always emotionally sensitive to the needs of individuals. Extremely objective, with good powers of observation, you would be qualified to study technical and complicated subjects, like science, computers or maybe even astrology.

Moon is in 04 Degrees Scorpio.
Your feelings are very intense, never superficial. You tend to be either very angry or very sad or completely and totally happy. Your moods are deep, extreme and not always completely understood by yourself or by those with whom you have to deal. Emotionally, you tend to prefer to live at the cutting edge of life, pushing your reactions to the ultimate extremes, even if the results are dangerous or upsetting. You are easily jealous and very suspicious -- you require a great deal of emotional reassurance. A good detective, you are very curious about deep and mysterious things, especially human nature and motivations. Be careful not to be ruthless, tactless or too overly frank or you will meet with much resistance from others.

Mercury is in 24 Degrees Aquarius.
You tend to be very opinionated -- you have strongly felt notions about things and are quite vocal about expressing and defending them. Yet you are also an original thinker -- you enjoy shocking others with your offbeat, original thoughts. You appreciate and need mental and intellectual stimulation. Your judgment is usually fair and impartial -- you can be a good critic because you can remain objective and unemotional about most things.

Venus is in 20 Degrees Capricorn.
You tend to keep your feelings under control -- emotions are only released in serious or important situations. You are distrustful of others whose behavior could be judged excessive or immoderate. As such, you prefer to relate only to those who are older than you or to those whose position is such that respect and duty are more important for both of you than passion or emotional response. Be careful, however, of relationships that are merely based on practicality or utility or you will ultimately be lonely.

Mars is in 21 Degrees Aquarius.
Your ideas and opinions are usually inventive and original, but sometimes they are merely eccentric and offbeat. You are altruistic -- you will work hard for the attainment of group goals, as long as they meet your high standards. You tend to resent traditional authority figures because you think that your ideas are better thought out and more valuable than theirs. Very idealistic, you are a rebel WITH a cause!

Jupiter is in 10 Degrees Libra.
You are generally good at balancing opinions and judging issues, but you tend to be indecisive when it comes to making up your own mind. You are objective and quite concerned with fair play and justice. But, when it comes to yourself, you are so aware that whatever you do might upset the apple cart that you often choose to compromise rather than do anything that might make you lonely or vulnerable. Relationships are very important to you -- you learn about yourself and grow through observing yourself interacting with others. Your aesthetic tastes are refined, but expansive and expensive.

Saturn is in 09 Degrees Libra.
Although you take quite a while to make decisions, you usually consider all sides to a question, all the pros and cons, and the solution you come up with is very often the correct one. You tend to be very reserved and shy, but, once you make a commitment to someone (in either a business or personal relationship), the partnership is forever. You have a strong sense of justice and fair play and greatly respect the laws and institutions by which you are governed. As such, you are outraged when others break laws or show contempt for authority.

Uranus is in 29 Degrees Scorpio.
You, and your peer group, demand to confront life at its deepest and most meaningful levels. Very compulsive and obsessive in your approach to everything, you will avoid anything that is casual or superficial, especially when it comes to relationships. You will seek out and explore new methods of healing as well as different ways to deal with deep-seated emotional problems.

Neptune is in 23 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and your entire generation, are heavily involved in investigating and idealizing foreign and exotic intellectual systems and religious philosophies. The most extreme ideals will be pursued with gusto. You will be at the forefront of humanitarian attempts to improve the lot of those who are in need of assistance. You will be comfortable with the concept of the "global village."

Pluto is in 24 Degrees Libra.
For your entire generation, this is a time of radical changes in society's attitude toward marriage and interpersonal relationships. There is a general fear and awe at the power inherent in making emotional or contractual commitments -- they will not be entered into lightly.

N. Node is in 10 Degrees Leo.
You prefer to take the leadership role when it comes to dealing with others. You enjoy administering and organizing group activities. Others tend to listen to your suggestions because you aren't usually overly domineering or patronizing in your interactions. You love to entertain in a big way -- you're at your best when throwing a large and lavish party. Your popularity and social success are assured as long as you don't take others for granted -- resist the temptation to become snobbish and arrogant.

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*Thx 2 ASTROLABE!

*This horoscope is conflicted... Mainly between the emotional and intellectual personality traits. There is stuff in there that seems to confirm some of Dr. Roses observations and fits quite well on how Toph-wedge-99 was. Some things contradict the fictionary tv-Dollhouse Topher, that was in Dr. Roses assesment too: like the strong idealism. I tried Astrolabe on myself and some of my friends and found it fairly accurate.

...Toph is also born in the Year of the Monkey and under the Rowan Moon:

Celtic Astrology
Rowan tree people have visionary minds and well defined humanitarian principles. They remain, however, self contained individuals and their vision is not always shared by the rest of humanity. Their cool temperament disguises some passionate beliefs, for they need to argue their case against bigotry and ignorance. The new moon people born during the first two weeks tend to become impatient and frustrated in this struggle toward a greater awareness. Although they may be quite reticent on a personal level, they will, nevertheless, help pioneer great social changes with reforming zeal.

Chinese astrology
Resourceful, Charming, Persuasive, Amusing, Sociable, Cunning.
The always charming, super-energized Monkey is the partier of the Chinese Zodiac. Monkeys have an insatiable appetite for fun and activity. Having a good time comes very easily for them in any crowd. They are optimistic, witty and blessed with a razor sharp mind. While Monkeys love to be the center of attention, they are good listeners as well. Their bottomless curiosity ensures they will be knowledgeable on a wide variety of topics. Their intelligence allows them to address complex tasks and situations with ease. Monkeys are show-offs who love nothing more than to bedazzle those around them with their antics.
Most Monkeys do not have a highly developed sense of morality. Indeed, if its fun, they’ll do it. Their primary goal is the pursuit of their own pleasure. Monkeys make pleasurable, exhilarating lovers, but beware of the possibility they will stray. Monkeys will try anything once, and if it is the slightest bit entertaining are sure to try it again.
The Monkey’s self-serving attitude may be trouble for many other Signs of the Zodiac. They are very hedonistic and lacking in self-control. If they cannot find a party they will start their own.

*(...Or just party on their own? :-P)

Age of Aquarius & Transhumanism

I was thinking about this Aquarius stuff and came to the conclusion that, while the ppl I know that are born in that sign are indeed very uniqe and interesting, they are not at all (I'm sorry, but frankly!) the easiest ppl for everyone to get along with. Happiness with them all too often is a castle built by sand. Or snow. This has a charm of it's own of course. But just so ppl know what to expect from this New Age of Aquarius... It's not most ppl's idea of bliss. The changes in way of life that is ahead is clearly pushing at least parts of humanity into some or other kind of transhuman state. I think this is relevant both to Toph and to Dollhouse tech...

Just to paint a picture of what could be expected, I'm using Science Fiction as an example. And my fav author, Tanith Lee's FOUR-BEE series is an interesting vision of an transhuman society. In FOUR-BEE one can change body all together, and design it after every whim. Antennas, silver hair, wings and hologram skin, any gender. Whatever. This can be done over every month, and ppl in FOUR-BEE regurlary kill themselves to get a change. Dreamy? ...It turns out that beeing able to realise every dream with the aid of technology is ultimatly utterly boring and unfulfilling, at least to some. So they escape into the desert to live like 'Adam' and 'Eve' did after beeing threwn out of Eden. (According to Bible myth: that's some non-pagan book, you won't find it in the Edda)