Laleh sings it.

People are u ready?
Fighters are u ready
Dreamers are u ready
If you're truly ready
Come on get ready

They could take me up,
Take me down
I don't care
I'm not found
'Cause we don't understand
The meaning of hamebaham
He said don't let them fool ya
He means the one who rules ya
I say u got to seize the power to be free
And I don't mean the money
And I don't mean control
But I mean the power over heads and our souls

People are u ready
We got nothing to loose
I won't let them rule my dreams
I won't let them tease me
Don't fall for temptations
or the lives they offer
Where are u my sisters
Where are u my brothers

Wait and Sea

I can not elaborate on the subject, since THE CARTEL IS MONITORING ME - sigh - but PIE has not given up yet. It would have been neat to be there when it goes down but it is at the other side of the planet. And this hex does not fly. I'm a sailing witch. Talking about which, the Coleridge is seaworthy once again and will hit the waves at friday. I will wait before I join the crew thought. The route is not set yet but when it is I will not post it here for
the Cartel3 to sea?

Dealing

I was worried just now, when a overseas friend of mine edmitted that he drinks exessivly these days. I figured that he was a person who listened to music as a way of dealing with stress, guess I was wrong or that doesn't really cut it for the current situation. I think one of the big things that carachterise a person is how they deal with stress. My friend often says that it means a lot to him that his friends are there for him and I am very happy to hear that some of his friends are visiting soon.

I deal with my stress in a different way. Yesterday evening I was on my way out running at sunset, I have changed from mornings to evenings now. But since the collective's dirt bike was available I changed my mind and headed over to the track instead.

Since I had my latest flare of lupus I have had a long way back. It took longer to shed the extra weight I put on from the prednisone than I had expected. Every time I started exercising more I had inflammations in the joints again and had to rest. Since I don't want to go into another flare I have to be careful.

But yesterday I was able to really go and I got concentrated enough to be able to get to that stillness in my mind and heart that training gets me to if it is intense enough. Oh how I have missed it! For shame I didn't take a helmet because I didn't expect to be able to go any fast at all. I thought it would be a struggle. Instead I felt like I should. Strong and light and fast. (Sorta. I am really still slow and weak, comparing...)

I need exersise to be able to deal with emotional stress. I can't just meditate it away as some people manage. That is why lupus is so doubly painful to me, when it locks me into immobility. It makes me unable to successfully deal with stress the only way I can. At the same time it wrecks my life and threatens me with death and really stresses me out. Torture!

Now I am speculating, but I peg Baron as a person who exersise not only because of the blatantly obvious reason - he is as vain as a beauty queen! - but as a way of dealing with stress, it makes him feel good? I think beeing captive and tied down must feel something like what i feel having a lupus flare only worse. Fear of death, stress, but no way of dealing except to escape inside. I read a research paper about hostage situations and hallucinating, it is very usual in those situations. Maybe they are not hallucinating, maybe their spirit really leave the body and wander. I hope that he manages to keep his sanity and that we'll get him back in one piece both physically and mentally.

Speaking about 'one piece', I wonder how long the bike has been creaking like that when strained. Doesn't sound good. If I ask the others they will probably say I singlehandedly wrecked it with this my first ride in like a YEAR, and make me pay for repairs or a new one. :-D Nahhh! They would never do that.

DON'T PANIC!

Happy Towel Day! This should be an
world wide (or galactic!) holiday!

Tried to make a youtube vid for the other PIE slices but fail, fail, fail. Ahhhrg. It must be the Cartel, interfering with Towel Day. I'll fish slap them for this!

Ahhh, finally the vid went through! And Riki's vid was awesome!

+Baron Rude+

The Cartel brothers Harry and Bart was outwitted and has fled. Hector is back with us and we're happy about that, celebrating with cake that Lys baked and decorated with the PIE logo. We have to imagine eating it but it looks tasty and very fine. Still we are missing Baron and we have yet to crush the cartel to ensure the JUMP.

The Cartel's really intent on making the PIE slices - us - believe that Baron is dead. There can be several reasons for this. One is to scare us into silence. Another is to make us stop looking for him and give up. I believe it is the second alternative that is the correct one. And so do the other PIE slices.

Illegitimati-Bart was on my case about me refusing to accept that Baron is dead. He doesn't feel dead to me. There is more to it than wishful thinking. We are not giving up. By taking Baron, the Cartel made us more desperate to find, reveal and crush them. If we thought he was dead and acted out lust for revenge there would be a risk that we would loose our humanity and the Cartel would win in a way. We will not grant them that victory.

42

I somtimes complain about the ways of middleclass people and I am always meet with a very surprised: "But you are typical middleclass!" And I have even been told it is typical for middleclass people to dislike the middleclass! I do have middle class interests like for example sailing, but in a totally different way than they are doing it. Well the actual sailing is the same, but I detest their culture around it. And I am not working class eighter, but i dislike them less. I would belong in the woods hunting and gathering I think. Or I am a bohemian of a kind. I don't know. I'm just a misfit I guess.

Years ago when I was very young I was asked about how I view my life for an article on my writing and art. My answer chocked the reporter so much that she started to try talking me out of it in the middle of the interview and then she was very cross with me. What did I say? Simply that I didn't value my own life if I did not do something totally original with it. That anything else would be a waste of the Earths recources. But that I did not judge anyone else. It is true - I don't dislike the middleclass for living unoriginal lives (- I don't love them for it eigther though). I dislike them because they won't let me live an original life. Because it makes me feel like an living dead and a waste of air. I rather be really dead because as I wrote in my post Awen, I know that death it is bliss.

One way to explain why I have this notion it is that Douglas Adams was right in a way, about 42. The Earth is a computer built to figure out the meaning of life and if everyone insists on living all the same way we will never arrive at the answer.
My personal take on it, is that our lives are sorta strings of calculations for a beeing that we are a part of. Hela: my concept of the divine. Both what we are physically and the thoughts and feelings we are experiencing are parts of Hela. This is my own personal brand of 'insanity'. What is yours? Don't tell me that it is exactly the same and you are middleclass and all your middleclass friends think the same. I might just off myself. :-D

Con*version

Are Christians to run from witches in fear, or should they make every effort to reach them for Jesus Christ? Indeed, we show how a Christian can use this information to reach a practicing witch with the saving Gospel!

From: http://www.cuttingedge.org/news/headline.html
This kind of religious intolerance is better than beeing burned at the stake, but still, I find it hard to deal with. There are a couple of Jehovas witnesses that come around very often. I don't want to tell them what I really think because I don't want to scare them and I respect their right to their faith. In their perspective they are trying to save me. So how could I be disrespectful then? Large parts of my family is Jehovas. They seem very harmonious and happy. But beeing happy that way is just not in my nature. In an episode of Doctor Who a woman keept comin back to an old house, she said it was making her sad. And that sad is happy for deep people. ...It may sound bonkers but there is truth to it. I would not be happy if I couldn't have sad and destructive feelings. I am such a freak that way...

Would you rather be right or happy ? And of course the truth is, we all say we would rather be happy and we all perceive to live our lives as though we would rather be right !

This is a qoute from a new age group of the self help kind. But there might be even creepier movements out there now. I would not mind if they were running from me in fear. :-) The question is who are 'they'? Their apostel Bart is spreading the word:

Stop talking about the past and start building a new future. They really are there for us. You just have to have faith in them. They can help you find order in your mind.

Words from the Illegitimati, making PIE a happy place.

The 'Illegitimati' take over of PIE.

Hector had to flee from PIE HQ and a couple of guys turned up at the forum claiming that Hector and Baron was hoaxers who stole their idea for a comic book and fooled us into thinking it was real. Now they had taken over and there would be no more investigating or discussing the JUMP, instead the forum would be dedicated to discussing Science Fiction and Fantasy. The initial reaction from the forum was a defiant one. But quite fast we adopted a strategy to pretend to play along with Bart and Harry, seemingly discussing science fiction and fantasy. Bart was happy for a moment:

"Yes. This is wonderful. Be social. Communicate with the other members. What a happy place PIE has now become."

But soon he shew that he was a tyrannical peck, disrespectful and arrogant. Lets say there was absolutely no danger of PIE getting the 'Stocholm syndrome'. For example, he didn't like the look of my signature image (of the Romulan Nero from Star Trek) and ordered me to change it to something 'happier'. I did so, but Vally came to my defense and pointed out that they have yet to proove their legal claims and did not whield any actual power over the forum. Soon enough the forum was abound with grim signature images. Most of them designed by the talanted Tio.

"Attn PIE members: moving forward, there will be no signature files allowed in this forum. Please have them all disabled by this time tomorrow. You must comply. Thank you and have a PIE-rrific day."

Yesterday there was a storm of namecalling at the forum and Bart lost his cool. He started to refer to the Cartel and someone in PIE beeing a traitor. Thereby sorta edmitting that they work for the Cartel. (We figured that much since before.) Harry made a weak attemt to start conversation about Star Trek or LOST instead. He gave us a fair warning: "It's my experience people generally get what they deserve. Tread lightly people." When it did not work out he finally threatened us:

"Bart and I will explore solutions to this problem. None of which will favor you or your friends. Pack your bags, you're all about to go on a trip."

Just so you know my friends; if I suddently vanish, the Cartel has picked me up for a trip to Tortureland. Well, there are worse things; like Vogon poetry. On that note: Don't forget to take your towel out with you next monday.
And DON'T PANIC!

Lagomness

The nordic mentality of lagomness has old roots. In odal society the annual meetings by the law ring where all quarrels were settled, was what held communities together. The word lagom meant "according to law" but in modern use the word means 'just right' weather it applies to conduct or an amount of something. Lagom is more than just about written law; it is foremost about unwritten laws. Extremes are bad and dangerous, and there is a time and a place for everything. This, I believe, is why nordic people party so wildly. When there is a right time for partying we have a lot of unrulyness pent up inside us. When we get out of our country we really let loose. I believe the raiding bands of vikings were mostly people suffocating from and escaping the 'lagomness' of home.
Nordic people have always been curious about the world. We like to go out into it and bring it home. But when something new enters our society we are very anxious to collectively assign this new element to its right time and place in our society. We are sensitive to the conscensus and everybody adapts to it. The new elements are welcome as a superficial change of flavour but it may not change the essence of our society in any way.
People who do not live according to lagom are shunned. And that is the dark side of lagom... When someone has not the sense or the courtesy to act lagom, this person loose its rights in the eyes of the collective.
To display signs of discomfort with the lagom way of life is labelled depression. It is a disease to not fit in with the lagomness. This is a threat to the balance of lagomness and has to be adressed by the society. These people has to be cured. Now what I am wondering is, in America there are large communities of nordic immigrants. Have they brought the lagomness with them? Or did they, as the vikings, leave here to get away from it?

PIE disaster!

The Cartel has kidnaped Baron in the middle of an bake-off between him and Hector. I don't know what to do right now. Things don't make sense to me so I am not sure how I can help right now. Frustrating. Tonight at midnight we are all simultanusly watching the kidnap vid the Cartel sent. For the other international Pie slices it will be other times at the day of course. Just midnight for me. A part of Hectors latest message:

PIE is bigger than just Baron and I now. Ensuring it’s survival and growth is necessary, especially if something should happen to me. The community we’ve formed is full of brilliant, dedicated,and passionate people. I’m proud to work alongside you and I know the community will prosper no matter what happens.

From now on, I’ll be sharing evidence with you as I find it. We will draw strength from each other. The first thing I’ll be sharing with you is Baron’s abduction video. I want to watch it with you. Live. Tomorrow, Wednesday at 3 PM Pacific Time.

Join the investigation, register at: http://pietheory.com

May fires & sex rites... or just gardening.

May/Valborg/Beltaine rites are often related to sex. But while I see no point in denying that sex is an interest of mine, it is not something I engage in in for ritual purposes. I am not that kind of witch (thought I know a few...). Sex can bring intense feelings but it is not magic, and I look upon it as cheating a bit. Like I think it is cheating to use drugs or alcohol in rites really. I cheat a little at Valborg evening, I drink beer. :-)

I have a relationship directly with nature that aquire nothing else to instill me with a sense of wonder and worship, that is as intense as an infatuation. The feeling I have is beyond intellectual edmiration of natures beauty and cruelty. The intellectual understanding of nature deepens the feeling but is not the source of it. I feel bliss in every cell of my body and I forget about myself when I am out in nature alone. (Other humans most often spoil it for me by talking.)

I am born a hex. At six years old I went into the woods behind the cottage and made my very first altar on a big rock that was flat on top. I gathered curious and beautiful finds there, like a cranium of a raindeer, feathers and stones that glittered or of strong colour and wierd shaped branches. I also made paint from berries and made signs at the altar. I do not know where I got the ideas from. My foster family where atheists, I knew nothing of my herritage then.

Now we are leaving for Valborg celabration. Lo from the collective has rented a car. First we are going to see that Coleridge is all right in the winter storage, before we continue to the cottage by the sea. We have lots of work to do there at this time of year. Both with the boat and the cottage garden. I am bringing novels and rubber boots with me. There will be no internet. But we will manage. We will pretend it is after the civilization has fallen, like in that song "You and the Candles".

Frozen feelings

If I'm smitten with someone and he picks up on that and he is interested and change his behavior towards me - I freeze up inside. I loose all interest. I figure out what words or actions that would alienate the person and then I do it. It is over before it ever really began.

You might think I have problems with attatchment or commitment or something. Maybe it is that too. But what I feel is not fear but weariness. "Now the game begins" I think. I notice myself responding to how I am supposed to react when he is doing his part. I am revolted by it. And in that same moment it dies for me.

That is why I keep my feelings inside me and shelter them. To let them last longer. I do not think it is possible to start a relationship without falling into the old tracks that are shown to us by media and the world around all of us. Yes there are different variations. But they all feel fake and unsatisfactory to me.

If you who are reading have a suggestion for a sollution to this problem of mine you are very welcome to comment on my post. Even if you just want to tell me I am completly wrong and pretentious or something. I am fully aware of the fact that I am dysfunctional and strange. :-D

Hex fires

Now the ancient fire festival of Valborg/Walpurgis, (or Beltaine) is beeing prepared. I have seen many bonfires beeing stacked. Sweden is very secularised but all the old heathen festivals are still celebrated by almost all, but concidered just fun tradition by the majority. This makes it easy to be a practising heathen.
We usually travel to the summer house, clean up the lawn and spend Valborg there. So also this year... I love it. It is the first time of the year we go there. And now there is all the spring flowers. Yesterday and today it has been real summer weather, too. We also go there because the biggest bonfire is usually on the beach next to the cottage and we don't want it to be burnt down. It's traditional to get drunk at Valborg and that is a dangerous combination with fire and fire crackers, that are used to scare evil spirits away.

The tradition tell that the Hexes would have a party this night and then return from Blåkulla "Bluehill", where they had resided since Easter or Ostara. From there they brought back the vegetation spirit to the land so the summer would be bountyful. The May Queen brought it with her in the shape of a seed like Persephone in greek tradition. The fires could symbolise the guiding light of the torches of Hecate who was known to the romans as Diana Lucifera or Diana Lucina. (Interesting that we in Sweden at midwinter have the Lucia tradition.) Since the Hexes flew in the dark the May fires made it easier to find their way back home. Of course they didn't really fly they were just high. It has old shamanistic roots. Now we just get drunk. :-)

Diana Lucina/Hecate is not forgotten...

America

Once upon a time a sami family from Finland emigrated to America. One of the daughters was my great grandmother, also a hex. She worked as an waitress and met my great grandfather. They had a farm and my grandmother was born. My great grandfather inherrited a farm in Finland so they moved back. My grandmother married a charming but bad man, against the will of her parents. My grandfather. During the war she escaped with her children into Sweden and married another man. And converted to Jehovas witnesses. I remember this much from what my aunt told me. I was most interested in the part that my great grandmother was an hex too. Do I remember it wrong if I think it was Michigan they made their American farm in? I wonder if I still have relatives back there. Did my great grandmother have sisters who stayed back there and who had daughters and granddaughters?

Now when I have researched finns in Michigan a little I just have to cite this slightly racist remark the folklorist, Richard Dorson made about the finn emigrant community in his classic Blood Stoppers and Bear Walkers:

The coming of the Finn has rocked the north woods country. He is today what the red man was two centuries ago, the exotic stranger from another world. In many ways the popular myths surrounding the Indian and the Finn run parallel. Both derive from a shadowy Mongolian stock - ‘just look at their raised cheek-bones and slanting eyes.’ Both possess supernatural stamina, strength, and tenacity. Both drink feverishly and fight barbarously. Both practice shamanistic magic and ritual, drawn from a deep well of folk belief. Both are secretive, clannish, inscrutable, and steadfast in their own peculiar social code.

It tells me something of how the finns were recieved if nothing else. It is not at all stange to me now that my great grandmother and her husband decided to go home to Finland again. My aunt said that my great grandmother missed the genius loci of her homeland. I guess it was like me missing the Torne river now.

Awen

The only strong experience of Awen I ever had was walking by an gigantic ancient Birch tree at home. It was a quite ordinary day and I was neither glad, sad or empthy feeling. I had not eating anything special or starved myself eigther, had not prayed or meditated or dreamt anything unusual that night. I didn't feel a longing for God to show up, and I do NOT think I was choosen or spoken to by God allmighty or anything like that. That's not how I think it works. Was it even the tree? It is a tree I must have walked past a thousend times and climbed a hundered times.

But in that moment I was made aware that everything is One and Love.

Thought this was an beautiful experience that I often try to recall in my memory, I don't try consciously to repeat it. I am happy that I don't have those all the time, it would become an nuiscence. But I would wish that everyone could have one such experience in their life. But I also belive that when we die, all of us no longer have the mental walls up that separate us from knowing that we are and have always been part of it: God or Hel or whatever you want to call it.

Now Baron, one of the founders of P.I.E. is experiencing something that he puts into words with references to tv series Twin Peaks. He says fire is walking with him and talking to him. And he is saying meny strange things, sounding like an oracle with a fondness for David Lynch productions. We are having some trouble interpreting him, but it will be interesting to see where all this ends up.

Blacksmiths & Black magic

I bought this viking age style glass today. This model was found at Birka. Come Beltaine I will drink Wytchwood brew from it! Since before I have a bowl and a money purse from Birka that my brother gave me. I have some jewelery too, quite much. When we sailed to Birka on Coleridge last summer, I bought a crystal pearl. My collection of replikas is growing, I hoard like a dragon. I like how much of the things are made in the same way now as they were back then. From my aunt I found out that we have some Vallon blood in our family, and she said my eyes are Vallon.

The Vallons were blacksmiths and magicians. Or people thought there was some magic to the blacksmithing that they were so secretive about. I have many different streaks of magicians in my family history, and on both sides too. Most of it is sami. I love to hear storys about my ancestors. Some of them are infamous. Well, one of them. He had a bit of a temper. I wouldn't strike someone with blindness, even if it was just for four days. To begin with, I don't care to find out how to do something like that. And then there is the Law of Return. Who knows, my wiccan sisters could be right, there might be something to it...

I'm pondering something the mysterious 'Gerrymander' left as a message to the PIE crew: "To see ahead you must learn what has come before."

Well, that is true for my life too. I want to learn as much as I can about my ancestors and history around them. Like, what was special about the skolt samis that set them apart from other samis? This summer I'd like to travel to Inari to find out. I am also intrigued bu the Komsa culture. When I worked at Voullerim 6000 we made a research trip to Alta to look at the place it was discovered with professor Westfahl. It's interesting the way genetic research changes our outloook on sami history in Scandinavia and western Europe right now. And all peoples all around the world. Like when they found out the viking queen buried in Norway was persian! Peoples have wandered around and blended with eachother.

Ohh, I want to participate in the Genographic project. Too bad I have no brother on my biofathers side though. Maybe this research will counteract racism. I know I am a total mix and I am happy about it, just more of history to feel connected to. My microbiologist friend who is han chinese, told me that the split toenail I have is a sign I also have han chinese ancestry. I was intrigued, I love daoistic philosophy and long before I ever heard about Dao De Jing I heard sentences from it in my dreams. I was also awed when I found out the linkage between samis and berbers of noth africa 9000 years ago! But there is another aspect to it also. Now research in immunology is done on samis, and I have donated my blood tests to research on Lupus. The long dark winters in the arctic may have changed the samis immune system, researchers theorize. Maybe knowledge of the past will lead to a cure...

The Phoenix bird of Hope.

My lupus is in remission. I now have reached a subclinical level of inflammation, no longer burning up with rheumathic fever. I'm picking myself up from the ashes and regenerate once again, just like the Phoenix bird. The creature of Hope.

The Phoenix bird is also the logo for Paranormal Investigation Experts or PIE, a group I have been following and joined forces with some weeks ago. Hector, the brains of the pair that founded the group, has a theory called the JUMP theory. Or in my language: 'HOPP teorin'. HOPP is a nordic word that in it's anglicised version is written HOPE. So for me the JUMP theory is also a message about HOPE for a better future. (You did know that english originates from Nordic language? There is a saying: 'You cannot be born, live or die without speaking Nordic' ...Isn't that true, geekgrl2019?)

But the story of the Phoenix bird also tells about the pain of recreation, renewal. Before it can be reborn, it has to burn up in fire. (Think also of the beloved hindu God Shiva, the Destroyer.) There is always going to be people who don't want things to change, because they have more to gain by preserving their own power. And so it is in this case too. Somebody is sendig blueclad zombiefied goons to harass Hector and Baron, and the same people is trying to prevent the JUMP from happening again. Probably 'Greyish' types. They will fail. Resistance is futile.

Call it Ostara, Eostre, Easter or what you will. Doesn't matter what religion, this time of year is significant. This is the season of hope, beginning NOW. The egg - a really strong symbol in myths of all cultures. On the outside it looks like a dead stone (and often is camoflaged that way too, in pattern and colour) but from it comes life or a new way of life. Ptah the creator shaped the world egg in Egyptian myth. And many more cultures muse about the world beeing shaped from an egg. My own ancestors, the finnish, too. The druids say the egg is not from a bird but from a snake or dragon.

Wales, Cymry, is the land of the red dragon. I went to Aberystwyth at Lughnasadh the same day as my initiation in the Dan yr Ogof caves, to look at the Black Book of Carmarthen. Later I found what the welch call an dragon egg at the beach. It is egg shaped, smooth, white and a little translucent, looks like stone. I hold it when I need to calm down and think. The dragon who is born from it some day, I hope, is me.

The egg we are hunting now is the next JUMP. Weather the mysterious egg comes out of the butt of a bird, snake, fish or dragon, we will find it and open it. No strange organisation will be able to stop PIE. It is the oldest story in the mythology book, (or clay tablet) and our thoughts and expectations have power. What we can believe in, we can make happen, we can create. Just think of all the inventions that science fiction writers have dreamed up, that inspired researchers and were realised.
I have a dream!

Homesick for the river.

The ways people use surgery to alter their bodies, is not what I would choose. Sure I care if people think I look good or not but It's not my dream to be beautiful. I would wish to enhance myself not for looks but for practicality. I want fur. Not a fur coat from butchered animals, but my own fur growing from my skin. Fur like that of an otter, all over, the face too. That would protect me against the cold, water proof fur. And claws, a cute black nose and whiskers, a tail and all. I would spend all my time in the wilderness, half of it in the water.

I still remember the day you said: 'the river flowing through your head would take you far or leave you dead', and all you said was true.

I love rivers, rapids. Best time I ever had was in the river-rafting class, when we had to jump into the rapids of Kukkola to try out what we had learned about getting to the shore. I had a helmet and lifejacket on, and keept my body at the surface with my feet pointing downstream, and just followed the current. Like that old man in the daoistic story, I didn't fight the rapid I tried to 'be' it. I didn't use energy to swim against it, I trusted the river and it broght me to the shore.

I have grown up by the riverside, the Torne river. I don't feel right living away from an unbound river. The regulated tamed streams are not rivers. When I worked a summer at the museum Vollerim 6000 I lived by an heavily regulated river. I dreamt nightmares where the spirit of the river was crying for help, tortured and in pain and despair, and I blew the dams up in my dream. I didn't feel right there. Or here. You can take the girl out of Torne river but not Torne river out of the girl.

Moonbathing & nightswimming.

This early in the spring everyone is as fishbelly-pale as I am. Later, I will stand out in a crowd beeing the only one still with a snowtan. I have to wear hats when I go out in the daylight and it makes me feel like Greta Garbo: "I want to be alone!" (Don't come any closer, I'm strange, mysterious and aloof. It's not that you don't like me, I didn't like you first!)I didn't choose to be a goth, it pretty much just comes naturally with the whole 'stay out of the sun' Lupus regime. And a black hat suits a hex.

But I have bought a new bikini! It's a monochrome black Panos Emporio, inspired by punk, with lots of nice details. The bottom has a scottish kilt inspired supershort skirt. I will wear it moonbathing on the deck of Coleridge, a Leisure 23 sailingboat. And nightswimming in the lake in the forest.
At midsummer, the Arctic Cirkle, midnight, the sun is weak. It almost sets at the horizon, stops, and then rises again. I like that month. If I can choose I sleep at daytime and stay up all nights instead... A very romantic time, that midnight sun time of the year.

Who is NOT a doll?

Since about a week back I have been blogging about relationships, about dreams: ones own, and the dreams of other people. Earlier I have blogged about the TV show Dollhouse and how it's a microcosm of society. It is, both when they are in there and the assignments the actives are sent out on. All are great material for discussion. My thoughts are occupied with questions about freedom, individualism, relationships and the capitalist consumerist society. Not that I believe the alternative (communism) is better! That's not what I'm on about. I just think we should take a good look at our own programming. Because we Are. Heavily. Programmed.

I guess that if I had paid any attention to literature class when we went over Ibsen's play 'A Dollhouse', I would be able to show off with references to it. Sadly, back then I thought that the society and family the play mirrored was extinct or severely injured and dying from the process of progress, and paid it little attention. But now it's all backlash! If the game's changed any, it is only because men now are used in the same way as only women used to be in old patriarchal society (in the open at least). We now have not a non patriarchal society, but new patriarchal society. Call it the Culture of Death or just 'Gray'. Just notice, please...