There is something going on with the case of Junko Junsui. I don't know what to believe. Things are not what they seem at first, and when you dig deeper, they are not what you find then either, but there are even more layers. Deception upon deception upon deception. In war, they say, the truth is the first casualty.
Spontaneously, I would say that there is discrepancy between what the Junsui say they are, and how they act. For that reason, what they are saying and doing is thought provoking.
Everybody have a need to be creative or to express themselves in some way. The societies (the people around us) always offer this way; to buy the opportunity to do that. They capitalize on this need. This is why we want to become rich. But mostly, we are being directed into realizing somebody else’s dreams for their self expression. We are also expected to pay for this, too. To be successful is to have others pay for getting to help realize your dreams, not their own.
The Junsui say they are against something, and then they DO just that, themselves.
This is of course very human - we all judge others differently than we judge ourselves. But I think it's more to it than that. I don't think they are what they pose as. Unfortunatly. I had hopes about them.
Maybe people can't see through this act.
I wondeer what harm can be done.
But I could be wrong.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Poisoned Paradise
While the snake I was swimming with was not venomous, there is another poison in my paradise. The reason I could not safely launch an truely self-sufficant project out here in the woods is: it's too late. Chernobyl. Much of the dust clouds from the Chernobyl disaster rained down here. I can, as I did yesterday, pick blueberries for an occasional pie, but not pick and make jam for the whole year. I know when I'm burning firewood, I'm releasing radioactive particles into the air again. It's forbidden to eat the fish from the lakes around here. And so on... Sorrow in my heart. The poison in paradise isn't the snake, but the humans.
Water Snake
Yesterday evening I wanted to wash some dust off, and went to the little island to take a swim there. The water is warm and it was a sunny, beautiful evening. I was carefully stepping into the water, since the rocks are both sharp and slippery-slimy there, when I felt a sudden hesitation. In my mind I saw a snake swimming towards me in the water. "Ridiculus" I told myself, "what are the odds that an adder will be swimming towards me?"
Repeating that in my mind, mantra-like, I swam out. As I swam out from the island I could see around it, and guess what? A snake was swimming towards me! Unbeliveable. I paniced and swam towards land and quickly I was out of the water. Then I saw the yellow markings behind it's head; It was jus an non venomous grass snake, or water snake as they also are called.
The snake was not much startled but did make a little way around me in the water as I was swimming ashore. Then it came up on land two meters from me, inbetween some rocks and vegetation. After a rest in the sun it continued on it's way around the island. Amazing. The animal life around the cottage are not at all afraid of humans. Squirrels, toads, birds... Now a snake, too.
Monday, June 29, 2009
The Baltic Sea and the Land of the Finns
The weather was mostly terrific with good winds. I'm wearing the captain's hat, reading the map & picking out the route. In Finland we found a charming little place to stay, Kalajoki. Later we visited Wasa & then realtives in Oulo. 
On the way back over the Baltic Sea I took a sea troll omboard. BIG mistake. He took over the rodder and disrespected the hat! Couldn't have that, so I kicked him off the ship, mid-sea. Ran, the sea goddess, didn't seem to mind this & I was not punished, but Coleridge arrived safely home.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Summer Solstice
Tonight I haven't sleept at all. I've spent five hours on the little island watching the dawn. I couldn't convince anyone to make me company, they were all adamant on sleeping. The sea was like a mirror, vailed by mists, when I arrived. The birdsong was almost deafening at times. I had to run around and climb some to keep warm before the sun rose.
The island is just a big chunk of green stone that has got it soft shapes by beeing sanded down by the the inland ice sheet more than 10.000 years ago. In the sunlight the stone glitters like it's infused with countless crystals. The island is partly covered in moss, with a few tormented but still quite big and old fir trees.
A few feather like clouds brushed the sky, before sunrise they started to glow with a gold lining when the horizon blushed pink and yellow. The mists moved faster over the water surface and almost looked like ghosts or faerys dancing, before they were dispersed by the warmth of the rising sun. I did some yoga; Guess what? :-)
I promise myself to do these 'out of the ordinary rut' things more. But it often takes special occations likt the Summer Solstice for me to Dao it a bit. Now I'm back home and have a few things to arrange before I finish packing for Finland. I'm really tired now thought, and have to sleep three hours before I can get anything at all done...
The picture is from an other occation, when I saw a hobgoblin (or possibly a tompta?) on the island.
The island is just a big chunk of green stone that has got it soft shapes by beeing sanded down by the the inland ice sheet more than 10.000 years ago. In the sunlight the stone glitters like it's infused with countless crystals. The island is partly covered in moss, with a few tormented but still quite big and old fir trees.
A few feather like clouds brushed the sky, before sunrise they started to glow with a gold lining when the horizon blushed pink and yellow. The mists moved faster over the water surface and almost looked like ghosts or faerys dancing, before they were dispersed by the warmth of the rising sun. I did some yoga; Guess what? :-)
I promise myself to do these 'out of the ordinary rut' things more. But it often takes special occations likt the Summer Solstice for me to Dao it a bit. Now I'm back home and have a few things to arrange before I finish packing for Finland. I'm really tired now thought, and have to sleep three hours before I can get anything at all done...
The picture is from an other occation, when I saw a hobgoblin (or possibly a tompta?) on the island.
Midsummer dreams
Midsummer dreams are supposed to be prophetical. Young girls still practice the folk magic practice of gathering seven (or nine) different kinds of flowers and sleeping with them under the pillow to dream about their future husband.
But there need not be any flowers at all. And the dreams can be about whatever.
Sunday night I woke everybody in the cottage up by screaming in my sleep. I dreamt that the cottage was beeing burglarised. ...I didn't scream because I was afraid! But to scare the burglar away or something in the lines of: "What in Hela's name do you think you are doing?!!" I went back to sleep, and dreamt about an amazing, exhilirating blizzard.
Now I don't know if I in the year before me am about to live through an actual break in to the cottage and a blizzard , or if I'm to expect a stormy, unasked for romance. To confuse this further, a wise woman once told me dream language often is 'backwards' and cryptic.
I guess I will have to wait and see what happens. So much for prophetic dreams. :-)
But there need not be any flowers at all. And the dreams can be about whatever.
Sunday night I woke everybody in the cottage up by screaming in my sleep. I dreamt that the cottage was beeing burglarised. ...I didn't scream because I was afraid! But to scare the burglar away or something in the lines of: "What in Hela's name do you think you are doing?!!" I went back to sleep, and dreamt about an amazing, exhilirating blizzard.
Now I don't know if I in the year before me am about to live through an actual break in to the cottage and a blizzard , or if I'm to expect a stormy, unasked for romance. To confuse this further, a wise woman once told me dream language often is 'backwards' and cryptic.
I guess I will have to wait and see what happens. So much for prophetic dreams. :-)
Saturday, June 20, 2009
The Hideaway
Midsummer time we spent at the cottage. But since we didn't get the water pump working yet, we were going home almost very day to shower or to get something. We thought we had packed enough to get by for four days, but no. It's just a twenty minutes drive, still I feel uneasy about it. Environmentally. Most of the time we have been working at the roof, and fixing stuff. As usual I have worked mostly in the garden. And making a meal for us now and then.
I'm happy with the results of our garden redesign. Lo tore down the old woodshed. I've got my 'druids corner' of the garden and they can do what they want to with the rest. I had to move my whole herbarium & strawberries which took two days of digging and replanting. Happily all of the the plants suvived the brutalism! I have sawed down many of the shrubberys and smaller trees for the more 'airy' garden design. Some older trees will be cut down later, but not the oldest ones, I saved those. Phew!
Althought if one of the great trees were to be stormfelled it could crush the cottage. I told them in that case I would mourn the tree and not the cottage. The cottage is an historical building, an more than 150 years old miners house from somewhere. But my grandfather was a miner his whole life, and I think he would say: "Leave those trees alone!" And I can truthfully claim I need the shadow of the trees, and that is pretty hard for anyone to argue with. Sometimes lupus isn't all bad. :-)
I'm happy with the results of our garden redesign. Lo tore down the old woodshed. I've got my 'druids corner' of the garden and they can do what they want to with the rest. I had to move my whole herbarium & strawberries which took two days of digging and replanting. Happily all of the the plants suvived the brutalism! I have sawed down many of the shrubberys and smaller trees for the more 'airy' garden design. Some older trees will be cut down later, but not the oldest ones, I saved those. Phew!
Althought if one of the great trees were to be stormfelled it could crush the cottage. I told them in that case I would mourn the tree and not the cottage. The cottage is an historical building, an more than 150 years old miners house from somewhere. But my grandfather was a miner his whole life, and I think he would say: "Leave those trees alone!" And I can truthfully claim I need the shadow of the trees, and that is pretty hard for anyone to argue with. Sometimes lupus isn't all bad. :-)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Lynx
Tonight I was invited into the lynx mind to accompany it in hunting. I don't know if it really happened or if I just had a wonderful dream. I have heard of hexes who can 'piggyback' animals minds but I don't remember that I ever had done so before. Eighter way I hope it will happen for me again some time. It was an exiting and very different way of experiencing nature. Words are insufficient to describe it. Or my vocabulary is. :-)
Monday, June 15, 2009
Monday, June 08, 2009
Oceanic Dreams
The Sea Whirlpool Dream
A boy of about seven y.o. standing at a pir with an old man. He points out to the sea, at a Whirlpool. The boy is awed. I get a feeling it is in Norway.
I don't remember any more of that dream, I had it as a child. But I have had many dreams about oceans. Here are some more I remember:
The Mirror in the Sea.
Me and another young identical girl sit in the waves, and there is an antique make up table with a big oval mirror, half submerged in the sea. We are smearing on red lipstick and laughing. Our white dresses are wet and our long hair is all tangled up by salt water. Suddently she is not beside me but in the mirror instead of my reflection. She smiles and reveal fangs. She leaps out of the mirror at me and scratch me. I run from her. The rest of the dream I run and try to hide from vampires and everybody around me turns into vampires. In the end I do, too.
The Sunken Ship
We have swam out to explore a sunken ship. Everybody dives down to look at it. I feel a intense hesitation to submerge myself entirely in the Sea. I am alone at the surface and all is dead still.
A boy of about seven y.o. standing at a pir with an old man. He points out to the sea, at a Whirlpool. The boy is awed. I get a feeling it is in Norway.
I don't remember any more of that dream, I had it as a child. But I have had many dreams about oceans. Here are some more I remember:
The Mirror in the Sea.
Me and another young identical girl sit in the waves, and there is an antique make up table with a big oval mirror, half submerged in the sea. We are smearing on red lipstick and laughing. Our white dresses are wet and our long hair is all tangled up by salt water. Suddently she is not beside me but in the mirror instead of my reflection. She smiles and reveal fangs. She leaps out of the mirror at me and scratch me. I run from her. The rest of the dream I run and try to hide from vampires and everybody around me turns into vampires. In the end I do, too.
The Sunken Ship
We have swam out to explore a sunken ship. Everybody dives down to look at it. I feel a intense hesitation to submerge myself entirely in the Sea. I am alone at the surface and all is dead still.
The Road Dream
In the dream I am walking along a big road. The road is packed with people, all walking in the same direction with apathetic expressions and movements. The landscape is flat and the whole dream is grayish in color, like it is an eternal winter’s dusk. The road seems to be the only thing there, and moving forward the only thing important. People are in all different ages. When someone stops moving forward they are trampled under by the rest, who does not even seem to take notice or care about it. I look down at the tarmac and I realise that the road is made up by bodies, skeleton parts and remains of clothes that are crushed and packed into this grey macabre road. I imagine the road taking form at the head of it, and realize it doesn’t lead anywhere, it is just being created continually. Maybe the ones in the front only are trying to get away from the road. Looking down as another one is trampled down, I notice paths leading down from the road into the thorny shrubbery vegetation. I continue moving forward, but start notice more and more of these paths. With great hesitation I finally decide to divert from the big road to follow one of these paths. I find that the paths are running across each other in great pattern of confusion and over and over again I find myself on paths heading up onto the big road again. The paths don’t seem to lead anywhere either. But I continue to follow them, increasingly scarred and scratched and wild looking.
City
I usually have no problem finding my way in the woods. To me all the trees and rocks do not look the all the same. Some I like, some I don't. I get a feeling for where I am. But in the cities I am always paniced. The buildings disturb my ability to orient myself and I get overwhelmed and tired. Maybe it's because I really don't want to be there.
I have noticed others react in a similar way to the woods that I do the the city. Maybe we can't change what pattern was imprinted on us growing up. I would find that infinitly sad. So many souls who will never know or enjoy reality. More than half of the human population on the planet now lives in city's. For the first time ever.
I don't really care to become comfortable in cities, and people maybe don't care to become more at home in the woods. But I have not grown up by the ocean, and that does not stop me from wanting to get to know it. I did grow up by a river and among lots of lakes thought, that may help a little. The oceans scare me. I find it exciting.
Oh, btw: Today is World Ocean Day. Wear blue and tell two!
I have noticed others react in a similar way to the woods that I do the the city. Maybe we can't change what pattern was imprinted on us growing up. I would find that infinitly sad. So many souls who will never know or enjoy reality. More than half of the human population on the planet now lives in city's. For the first time ever.
I don't really care to become comfortable in cities, and people maybe don't care to become more at home in the woods. But I have not grown up by the ocean, and that does not stop me from wanting to get to know it. I did grow up by a river and among lots of lakes thought, that may help a little. The oceans scare me. I find it exciting.
Oh, btw: Today is World Ocean Day. Wear blue and tell two!
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Into the wild
I was looking forward to be sailing now, but I should have known better than getting my hopes up. Oh, I did so long to get away from everything for a long while. Forget that I am human. Not have to relate to other humans besides the others with me, who don't want to be human eighter.
Well I have to continue to get my wilderness in small doses. Tonight the moon is full and the sky is clear. As soon as darkness falls I will go running in the woods. The last time I went running this late I ran into the lynx that I've been told has been sighted often in the woods where I run. It was at a distance but it roared at me! I have seen lynx before but at greater distance and they have never cared about me.
How loud it sounded! I didn't expect it. Have only ever heard the sound in documentarys before. It is more of a bark than a roar, really. I was startled and felt a bit panicy, had to make myself run a bit slower and not faster. Not that I have ever head anyone say they have been attacked by a lynx. I felt silly for beeing scared by it.
I often run into deer there. Especially if I run off the track. Which I obviesly can't do in the dark. I will stay at the path. I have a trick that has preserved my night vision so it is very good. I always close my left eye for a moment if I am dazzled. A military taught me that when I was a child. Other superpowers: I have hearing like a dog's on one ear. :-)
Later: I saw the lynx again I think! Closer this time, but it leaped into shrubbery when I came and did not move and I wasn't about to stop and have a look in there! It was surprisingly cold outside. I took the longest warm shower and a hot cup of tea when I came home. It would have been nice with a warm somebody in bed tonight thought.
Well I have to continue to get my wilderness in small doses. Tonight the moon is full and the sky is clear. As soon as darkness falls I will go running in the woods. The last time I went running this late I ran into the lynx that I've been told has been sighted often in the woods where I run. It was at a distance but it roared at me! I have seen lynx before but at greater distance and they have never cared about me.
How loud it sounded! I didn't expect it. Have only ever heard the sound in documentarys before. It is more of a bark than a roar, really. I was startled and felt a bit panicy, had to make myself run a bit slower and not faster. Not that I have ever head anyone say they have been attacked by a lynx. I felt silly for beeing scared by it.
I often run into deer there. Especially if I run off the track. Which I obviesly can't do in the dark. I will stay at the path. I have a trick that has preserved my night vision so it is very good. I always close my left eye for a moment if I am dazzled. A military taught me that when I was a child. Other superpowers: I have hearing like a dog's on one ear. :-)
Later: I saw the lynx again I think! Closer this time, but it leaped into shrubbery when I came and did not move and I wasn't about to stop and have a look in there! It was surprisingly cold outside. I took the longest warm shower and a hot cup of tea when I came home. It would have been nice with a warm somebody in bed tonight thought.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Gaia
Today is the National Day of Sweden. This event I have marked in no way at all. Tomorrow thought, is an important day to me, because I get to vote green in the EU election. I know it's futile. I don't want to think about how futile it is, and anything else I can do. I'd rather go on hoping for miracles. If one doesn't even try, what chanse has she got? Gaia. The love of my life.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Laleh sings it.
People are u ready?
Fighters are u ready
Dreamers are u ready
If you're truly ready
Come on get ready
They could take me up,
Take me down
I don't care
I'm not found
'Cause we don't understand
The meaning of hamebaham
He said don't let them fool ya
He means the one who rules ya
I say u got to seize the power to be free
And I don't mean the money
And I don't mean control
But I mean the power over heads and our souls
People are u ready
We got nothing to loose
I won't let them rule my dreams
I won't let them tease me
Don't fall for temptations
or the lives they offer
Where are u my sisters
Where are u my brothers
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Wait and Sea
I can not elaborate on the subject, since THE CARTEL IS MONITORING ME - sigh - but PIE has not given up yet. It would have been neat to be there when it goes down but it is at the other side of the planet. And this hex does not fly. I'm a sailing witch. Talking about which, the Coleridge is seaworthy once again and will hit the waves at friday. I will wait before I join the crew thought. The route is not set yet but when it is I will not post it here for
the Cartel3 to sea?
the Cartel3 to sea?
Dealing
I was worried just now, when a overseas friend of mine edmitted that he drinks exessivly these days. I figured that he was a person who listened to music as a way of dealing with stress, guess I was wrong or that doesn't really cut it for the current situation. I think one of the big things that carachterise a person is how they deal with stress. My friend often says that it means a lot to him that his friends are there for him and I am very happy to hear that some of his friends are visiting soon.
I deal with my stress in a different way. Yesterday evening I was on my way out running at sunset, I have changed from mornings to evenings now. But since the collective's dirt bike was available I changed my mind and headed over to the track instead.
Since I had my latest flare of lupus I have had a long way back. It took longer to shed the extra weight I put on from the prednisone than I had expected. Every time I started exercising more I had inflammations in the joints again and had to rest. Since I don't want to go into another flare I have to be careful.
But yesterday I was able to really go and I got concentrated enough to be able to get to that stillness in my mind and heart that training gets me to if it is intense enough. Oh how I have missed it! For shame I didn't take a helmet because I didn't expect to be able to go any fast at all. I thought it would be a struggle. Instead I felt like I should. Strong and light and fast. (Sorta. I am really still slow and weak, comparing...)
I need exersise to be able to deal with emotional stress. I can't just meditate it away as some people manage. That is why lupus is so doubly painful to me, when it locks me into immobility. It makes me unable to successfully deal with stress the only way I can. At the same time it wrecks my life and threatens me with death and really stresses me out. Torture!
Now I am speculating, but I peg Baron as a person who exersise not only because of the blatantly obvious reason - he is as vain as a beauty queen! - but as a way of dealing with stress, it makes him feel good? I think beeing captive and tied down must feel something like what i feel having a lupus flare only worse. Fear of death, stress, but no way of dealing except to escape inside. I read a research paper about hostage situations and hallucinating, it is very usual in those situations. Maybe they are not hallucinating, maybe their spirit really leave the body and wander. I hope that he manages to keep his sanity and that we'll get him back in one piece both physically and mentally.
Speaking about 'one piece', I wonder how long the bike has been creaking like that when strained. Doesn't sound good. If I ask the others they will probably say I singlehandedly wrecked it with this my first ride in like a YEAR, and make me pay for repairs or a new one. :-D Nahhh! They would never do that.
I deal with my stress in a different way. Yesterday evening I was on my way out running at sunset, I have changed from mornings to evenings now. But since the collective's dirt bike was available I changed my mind and headed over to the track instead.
Since I had my latest flare of lupus I have had a long way back. It took longer to shed the extra weight I put on from the prednisone than I had expected. Every time I started exercising more I had inflammations in the joints again and had to rest. Since I don't want to go into another flare I have to be careful.
But yesterday I was able to really go and I got concentrated enough to be able to get to that stillness in my mind and heart that training gets me to if it is intense enough. Oh how I have missed it! For shame I didn't take a helmet because I didn't expect to be able to go any fast at all. I thought it would be a struggle. Instead I felt like I should. Strong and light and fast. (Sorta. I am really still slow and weak, comparing...)
I need exersise to be able to deal with emotional stress. I can't just meditate it away as some people manage. That is why lupus is so doubly painful to me, when it locks me into immobility. It makes me unable to successfully deal with stress the only way I can. At the same time it wrecks my life and threatens me with death and really stresses me out. Torture!
Now I am speculating, but I peg Baron as a person who exersise not only because of the blatantly obvious reason - he is as vain as a beauty queen! - but as a way of dealing with stress, it makes him feel good? I think beeing captive and tied down must feel something like what i feel having a lupus flare only worse. Fear of death, stress, but no way of dealing except to escape inside. I read a research paper about hostage situations and hallucinating, it is very usual in those situations. Maybe they are not hallucinating, maybe their spirit really leave the body and wander. I hope that he manages to keep his sanity and that we'll get him back in one piece both physically and mentally.
Speaking about 'one piece', I wonder how long the bike has been creaking like that when strained. Doesn't sound good. If I ask the others they will probably say I singlehandedly wrecked it with this my first ride in like a YEAR, and make me pay for repairs or a new one. :-D Nahhh! They would never do that.
Monday, May 25, 2009
DON'T PANIC!
Happy Towel Day! This should be an
world wide (or galactic!) holiday!
Tried to make a youtube vid for the other PIE slices but fail, fail, fail. Ahhhrg. It must be the Cartel, interfering with Towel Day. I'll fish slap them for this!
Ahhh, finally the vid went through! And Riki's vid was awesome!
world wide (or galactic!) holiday!
Tried to make a youtube vid for the other PIE slices but fail, fail, fail. Ahhhrg. It must be the Cartel, interfering with Towel Day. I'll fish slap them for this!
Ahhh, finally the vid went through! And Riki's vid was awesome!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
+Baron Rude+
The Cartel brothers Harry and Bart was outwitted and has fled. Hector is back with us and we're happy about that, celebrating with cake that Lys baked and decorated with the PIE logo. We have to imagine eating it but it looks tasty and very fine. Still we are missing Baron and we have yet to crush the cartel to ensure the JUMP.
The Cartel's really intent on making the PIE slices - us - believe that Baron is dead. There can be several reasons for this. One is to scare us into silence. Another is to make us stop looking for him and give up. I believe it is the second alternative that is the correct one. And so do the other PIE slices.
Illegitimati-Bart was on my case about me refusing to accept that Baron is dead. He doesn't feel dead to me. There is more to it than wishful thinking. We are not giving up. By taking Baron, the Cartel made us more desperate to find, reveal and crush them. If we thought he was dead and acted out lust for revenge there would be a risk that we would loose our humanity and the Cartel would win in a way. We will not grant them that victory.
The Cartel's really intent on making the PIE slices - us - believe that Baron is dead. There can be several reasons for this. One is to scare us into silence. Another is to make us stop looking for him and give up. I believe it is the second alternative that is the correct one. And so do the other PIE slices.
Illegitimati-Bart was on my case about me refusing to accept that Baron is dead. He doesn't feel dead to me. There is more to it than wishful thinking. We are not giving up. By taking Baron, the Cartel made us more desperate to find, reveal and crush them. If we thought he was dead and acted out lust for revenge there would be a risk that we would loose our humanity and the Cartel would win in a way. We will not grant them that victory.
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